Am I an ass?

Germanshepherdsmum

I suspect she’s saying this to her mother because she knows about her whacky beliefs, and potentially the mother will be in closer contact with the baby and for longer periods, even if she catches covid again. Here baby, have a dose of covid, you’ll get natural immunity (even though I didn’t).

Someone could have Covid without symptoms whether vaccinated or not.

My youngest caught measles at 8 months old, before she was old enough to have the vaccine.
My other children had had the measles vaccinations and I'd had measles as a child.
DC1 reacted badly to the measles vaccination and caught measles from it.
DGC3 caught measles from her sibling, who had had the MMR booster and had reacted to it.

I am not an anti-vaxxer by any means and I think it's important for children to have their routine vaccinations despite our experiences but this seems to be a case of over-anxiety.

I hope the mother has had the recommended vaccinations in pregnancy and will breast feed the baby to give it the best possible start.

Hello,
You do say you are OK with having all but one of them - can you focus her mind on all the ones you are OK with?
Which is the one you feel most uncomfortable about?

I do think it's an odd request (ultimatum?) to be honest.

Simple have vaccines and be part of babies life or don't have vaccines and keep away .The choice is yours.
Right or wrong that is the babies mothers request .

Can you offer to help her - cleaning, laundry, cooking - but keep away from her precious baby?

I expect she will say no.
I'm not sure what country you are in.

Maybe have a look at what the "green book" says and why?

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7abc09e5274a319e77a5b9/Green-Book-Chapter-12.pdf

I wonder if you are using the term "ass" in the English sense ("idiot") or the US as your language suggests the latter?
Certainly if the former- yes you are.
I personally find it an overreaction to feel so strongly about a new mum's wishes. Your views are your own but she has, it seems, IMHO decided not to put her baby at risk.
There is a resurgence of Measles in the UK - it can be fatal. Chickenpox is a miserable illness as is Whooping Cough so best vaccinated against. And that's without starting on MMR and the "biggies".
You say you are happy enough with all but one (I seem to have missed which one and why) so why make such a drama out of it?

Not sure, RosiesMaw, that I think Becksnana is making a drama out of it - I do think it's an odd request though.

I'm totally with the no kissing of the baby no coughing/sneezing over the child (or anyone frankly), covid testing and lots of hand-washing no visiting if at all unwell etc - but...

I do also say it's Mum's choice though. I don't understand why it's so draconian but i feel maybe this is a mum that has been through "Hell and high water" to get to this point and won't have any more chances. She is presumably very anxious.

To me the "drama" is the slant OP is putting on it.
Am I an ass (US interpretation) is way OTT.
I don't know OP's age, but flu jabs make sense even if she may not be eligible for a shingles jab ,but it sounds as if she is pretty anti, preferring her mother's take on the principle - and let's face it, medicine has moved on we no longer for instance encourage our children to attend "chickenpox parties" or fumigate bedding after 6 weeks isolation for Scarlet Fever! (My experience at age 7.)
I think the expectant mum may be over reacting but that is her prerogative and it actually sounds to me more like a reaction to OP'S own extreme attitude.
That's making a drama !

Becksnana -- are you generally up to date with vaccinations?

If so, her attitude surprises me but it depends on so many other factors.
At 37 y o it may well be her only child -she is obviously very anxious - is your daughter immunosuppressed or worried that the baby might have some genetic vulnerability?

Which is the vaccine you are not OK with and why?

Finally, if my daughter said that to me -- I might tell her she was OTT but to keep her happy I would have all the vaccinations she wanted -- after all it might even be to my benefit too.

I wish there were a way of upticking/liking previous comments so the OP has an idea of how many of us think one way or another