As a retired teacher, I am absolutely horrified at the way your family has been treated. I cannot comprehend the total lack of compassion shown by the school and authorities. This whole situation is totally unacceptable.
In my own school, we bent over backwards to support families who were struggling. On a few occasions, the HT himself brought a child to school, when the parent was unable to. We have also been known to take children home to take pressure off a parent.
In special circumstances, children would be taxied to school and this was paid for by the LA.
The attendance Officer would also be informed of the circumstances.
Furthermore, the management team would ensure that all staff were made aware of these circumstances, so that if the child was distressed or their behaviour became difficult to manage, staff knew what lay behind it.
School should be a safe haven for children, not a place of stress and unhappiness.
A number of our staff were also trained in bereavement counselling and weekly sessions were held to support children who had suffered the loss of a family member through death or divorce.
My first port of call would be the Head Teacher and if that gets you nowhere, go straight to the top, the Director of Education.
I am so sorry that you have not received the compassion and support that you deserve.