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School issues

(87 Posts)
MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:03:00

Some of you may remember the problems encountered regarding schooling when a parent was too ill to take the child.
The school told me that they weren't bothered about grandson missing days, as they knew the circumstances.
We had a mentoring charity helping us for the last little while, which was sadly, too late. However, when my grandson finished school for Christmas, he came home with a letter addressed to his mum, at her address.
Considering I have informed the school that circumstances have changed, do you think its reasonable to request a meeting to ask how on earth such a thing has happened?

BlueBelle Fri 29-Dec-17 12:08:27

Yes I do Misadventure Mistakes can happen but they need to realise that their mistake has caused sadness and upset maybe not necessarily a meeting but definitely it needs addressing and you need to be confident it won’t continue to happen

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:12:09

Well, they have been informed time and again by phone, Bluebelle. They attended a meeting arranged by the mentoring charity - again, sadly all too late. The deputy head phoned me with the excuse that they 'didn't know' and I asked that they ensured that everyone now did. A few weeks ago my grandson told me his teacher had questioned him about why his work standard had slipped in the last few months, but I let that go. This letter though.. I'm angry, but also really hurt by it.

cornergran Fri 29-Dec-17 12:37:33

I'm sorry about this added upset MissAdventure, there's enough worry without the school adding to it. I hope there are others more familiar with school systems who can offer more informed advice. My first thought was a letter to the Chair of Governors (name should be on the school web site) outlining the issue and asking for them to either facilitate a meeting or resolve the issue for you.. For everyones sake it feels important that communication in and outside of the school is water tight.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:40:12

Thank you both. I'm swaying between just letting it go and not upsetting myself further, and being just amazed that communication is obviously lacking when it should be across the board.

OldMeg Fri 29-Dec-17 13:31:33

I think that enough is enough. Make an appointment to see the HT and tell him/her that it’s time they got their act together.

You have every reason to be very cross.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 13:57:22

Having worked in schools for years, I can confirm that across the board communication is always a huge problem. We'd try so many systems to try to make sure the management team/teaching staff/admin team/Senco/support assistants/Attendance Officer all knew about arrangements and assurances one of them had made, and it was so frustrating when things still slipped through the net. Don't let it go, they need to know that they have caused you upset and they need to look again at their systems and do all they can to make sure everyone complies with them, as this is often where the problem lies. I don't know your circumstances, OP, but we would sometimes arrange for children to be collected and dropped off if home circumstances warranted it. Have you been offered this?

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 13:58:20

Its too late, Maggie. My daughter died.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:01:30

Check the Complaints Policy on the school website to see who to contact. It's usually the head in the first instance unless that is the person you are complaining about.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:01:34

And no, she wasn't offered any help at all. It made the last few months of her life all the more difficult that the school and Senco officer were so uninterested.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:02:29

Oh, MissAdventure, I am so sorry.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:03:28

I'm not sure who I would be complaining about, even. I just feel horribly let down, on behalf of my daughter and grandson.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:05:19

Sorry Maggie. That was probably rather blunt. You weren't to know. flowers

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:08:37

Please don't be sorry. You've been very badly let down. I am angry on your behalf. There is no excuse at all for sending that letter, they have been totally lacking in compassion.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:12:21

Thanks Maggie. I think I probably do need to speak to someone to find out why is seems that people still aren't aware. I mean, they only had 10 years of being informed at various times.

Crafting Fri 29-Dec-17 15:11:46

missadventure just wanted to say sorry you have all suffered such a great loss. The school should be taking good care of your DGS at such a sad time not adding to his worries. flowers

BlueBelle Fri 29-Dec-17 15:38:02

MissAdventure now I know they have been told many times I think yes a meeting is necessary it’s very very inappropriate and very thoughtless, careless and downright cruel not to remember and to wonder why your grandsons not up to standard shows a level of stupidity not expected of any decent school
When my 6 yr old grandson lost his Dad he was given permission to leave the classroom if he felt sad, was offered school counselling and had a fairly caring experience that should be the least your little chap gets

OldMeg Fri 29-Dec-17 15:47:20

Don’t settle for speaking to ‘someone’ insist you speak to the Headteacher. They are not God, and you need not be worried about approaching them.

If their communication system is this bad the Head needs to know.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 15:49:39

Thank you all. I'm a bit more 'buoyed up' now. smile (Lets hope it lasts!)

trisher Fri 29-Dec-17 16:40:41

MissAdventure so sorry for your loss. You are entitled to make as much fuss as you like and to tell the Head exactly how you feel. I found this website which the school might like to look at childbereavementuk.org
Schools sometimes get things completely wrong and communication isn't always brilliant but really they should havedone better.
I wish you well for the future and hope you manage to get through this. Can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

Eglantine21 Fri 29-Dec-17 17:33:13

Definitely, definitely make an appointment to see he Head Teacher. Explain about the recent letter, then other occasions when the response has been inadequate or inappropriate.
Ask for a copy of the complaints procedure just nicely saying that you hope you won't have to use it.
As an ex Head I old have been horrified and ashamed if this had happened in my school. And grateful that you had brought it to my attention.

Eglantine21 Fri 29-Dec-17 17:34:29

I'm sorry about the typos.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 17:38:06

Detention for you! Thank you all. It does help, because I'm never quite sure if its me or them that has things so wrong.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 17:45:51

It's them, MissAdventure, for sure, and they need to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. flowers and all best wishes to you and yours.

Elrel Fri 29-Dec-17 17:47:38

Sad and hurtful for you and your grandson that someone didn't bother enough to spare you the upset of the letter. Whoever addressed the envelope and whoever gave it to the child should have been aware of his circumstances and checked. They should apologise.

You should let the head know of this, it shouldn't have happened. Your grandson needs support and security at school, not being asked why his work has deteriorated.

A friend's clever, hardworking grandchild was pressured because their standards had gone down in GCSE work. This was soon after a widely reported road accident (a few miles from the school) with fatalities. The only survivor was the grandchild's seriously injured father. The lack of understanding at the grammar school decided the grandchild to take themself to a sixth form college for A levels. So unnecessary.

NannyTee Fri 29-Dec-17 18:59:19

This happened to my DS who passed his 11plus in primary school. Lost his Dad suddenly and ended up back min comprehensive school because the strict masters saw his anger as thuggish. confused

NannyTee Fri 29-Dec-17 18:59:38

Back in

Marydoll Fri 29-Dec-17 20:13:59

As a retired teacher, I am absolutely horrified at the way your family has been treated. I cannot comprehend the total lack of compassion shown by the school and authorities. This whole situation is totally unacceptable.
In my own school, we bent over backwards to support families who were struggling. On a few occasions, the HT himself brought a child to school, when the parent was unable to. We have also been known to take children home to take pressure off a parent.
In special circumstances, children would be taxied to school and this was paid for by the LA.
The attendance Officer would also be informed of the circumstances.
Furthermore, the management team would ensure that all staff were made aware of these circumstances, so that if the child was distressed or their behaviour became difficult to manage, staff knew what lay behind it.
School should be a safe haven for children, not a place of stress and unhappiness.
A number of our staff were also trained in bereavement counselling and weekly sessions were held to support children who had suffered the loss of a family member through death or divorce.
My first port of call would be the Head Teacher and if that gets you nowhere, go straight to the top, the Director of Education.
I am so sorry that you have not received the compassion and support that you deserve.

Eglantine21 Fri 29-Dec-17 20:25:54

I suspect, maybe wrongly, that the school is an Academy and not under the auspices of the LEA. So the Director of education wold be powerless and only the Attendance monitoring carried out by the school.
Academies are a law unto themselves I'm afraid.

Nezumi65 Fri 29-Dec-17 20:29:35

God that’s awful sad Definitely go to the head.

NannyTee Fri 29-Dec-17 20:37:09

Heartbreaking . This should never have happened . flowers

grumppa Fri 29-Dec-17 21:07:58

Go to the Head, and if their response is inadequate go to the Chair of Governors with a copy to your MP.

eazybee Fri 29-Dec-17 22:26:13

Take the letter you received to the Head at the beginning of term, and insist that he personally changes the details on your grandchild's file, in your presence. Explain the distress it has caused. and ask what provision he is putting in place to assist your grandson in the future.

I find it very hard to believe that a primary school (if it is so) can behave in such a callous way during illness and bereavement; normal compassion would operate among staff, even if mistakes were made.
If you continue to be treated with indifference, then you need to contact the Chairman of Governors and request an explanation.

Jalima1108 Fri 29-Dec-17 23:19:05

I am shocked and surprised that this has happened and think that their actions have been insensitive and uncaring.
A primary school especially should have better pastoral care of its pupils and any Head Teacher and class teacher should be well aware of the circumstances and offer help and support under such difficult circumstances. They should have offered more help than just saying they weren't bothered if he missed days off in the past few months.

You should definitely contact the Head and the Chair of the Governors - both for an apology and to ensure that support and understanding is given to your DGS in the difficult time ahead.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 11:21:18

I contacted the school by phone this morning first thing, to ask for an appt to see the head teacher. They are going to phone me back with an appointment. Apparently.

minesaprosecco Wed 03-Jan-18 11:36:55

Don't let them fob you off missadventure. The school office will have a copy of the HT's diary and be able to make you an appointment, even if it needs to be confirmed by the HT later. Prepare what you're going to say carefully, stay calm, but let him/her know how angry you are. This is such careless behaviour from so many people at the school. As an ex deputy of a primary school I find it beyond belief that the communication system is so bad. Good luck, and remember you are in the right.

trisher Wed 03-Jan-18 12:09:13

MissAdventureI hope they do. If not I would say ring them and insist on speaking to the head. If they tell you she's busy say you will stay on the line (effectively blocking it) until she can speak. It sounds to me as if there is an admin person there who hs been put there to block access. These people are quite often little despots and regard it as their duty to keep anyone away from the head. Great advice above.
Try to stay calm although your emotions must still be so raw. Your family have been badly served. You deserve an apology and the school needs to make sure it never happens again.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 12:17:02

Thank you. My strength is dwindling by the minute. I just don't feel up to all this, but I am going to persevere, thanks to everyone's encouragement.
flowers

eazybee Wed 03-Jan-18 12:20:39

If it is the first day of term the office will be very busy, but if you are not offered an appointment before the end of the day arrive at the school and demand to see the Head in person. Loudly.

Any Head worth his salt would phone you personally to apologise. It does sound an extraordinary place, not like any school I have ever worked in.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 12:36:39

It never ceases to amaze me, too, eazybee. Every time I think they've finally 'got it'...

Eglantine21 Wed 03-Jan-18 12:36:59

Do you have an assertive friend to take with you? This is a very emotional issue for you. Sometimes it can help to have a less involved person there to keep the meeting on track.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 12:40:17

Um, I may be able to find one. I'm really concerned that I will just blub as soon as I start speaking. The whole list of things that they have failed in is huge, and although I wont fetch them all up, they'll be on my mind. The last part of my daughters life was made so much worse by their incompetence and lack of thought.

Eglantine21 Wed 03-Jan-18 12:51:45

I'm afraid (as I know to my cost) that once the blubs start it gives them the opportunity to say 'I can see you're upset" lay on the sympathy and pretend that you're making an issue of things because you're upset and not because the issue is real!

Sometimes having a spokesperson is the way to go. But if you can bear to, write it all down, factually and in bullet points. Hand over a copy at the start and say you have documented your concerns.
Then if you feel you are losing it at any point ask them to continue reading and wait for their response. It will give you a chance to compose yourself.
Sorry I'm being bossy....
I'll send you a pm

Jalima1108 Wed 03-Jan-18 12:55:16

Good advice Eglantine and it will give you a chance to get your thoughts in order and make sure you don't forget anything MissAdventure - sometimes in stressful situations like that your mind can go blank and you remember everything you should have said afterwards.

Or take a friend with you.
I cannot believe that they would be anything less than sympathetic, but, having encountered the way that some HT's can turn the tables very neatly and turn it all into your or your child's fault perhaps taking someone with you could be a good idea too.

trisher Wed 03-Jan-18 12:57:20

Great advice Eglantine21. Try to imagine us all behind you MissAdventure all GNers, we can't be there but we are with you in spirit. You have right on your side.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 13:05:11

Ah, thank you. You really are a kind lot, when push comes to shove! Its so difficult, my daughter was the one to give me a strength to do things, its almost making me get 'the blubs' thinking about having a posse of grans behind me!

Coolgran65 Wed 03-Jan-18 13:25:13

Eglantine's advice in her last couple of posts is superb.
A list ... and even prioritise within the list using a highlighter.
Maybe even a copy of the list to the HT for the file.

Great idea about taking a friend with you. The friend would be emotionally slightly removed from the situation and able to hold the meeting together if you needed to compose yourself.

I am so angry on your behalf.
I have worked in school administration, in hospital administration, and handled matrimonial issues in a solicitor's office - all needing a high standard of efficiency. It pains me when I see such lax administration and the harm and hurt it can cause.

Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.... all you are wanting is for a sensitive matter to be dealt with efficiently and with sensitivity.

Will you ask where the communication fell down, not so much to point a finger at one person, but to check the school policy in such circumstances. Have they got a set procedure that was not adhered to. Or do they just wing it and hope for the best.

I am really sending good karma your way. Imagine we are all, every one of us, standing behind you in spirit. You and your DGS do matter. If you feel dissatisfied after your (and friend) meeting with HT...... ask to arrange a further meeting to include HT, Chairman of Board of Governors. Perhaps the SENCO teacher rep.

NannyTee Wed 03-Jan-18 13:29:29

Really feel for you MissAdventure. Good luck. flowers

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 13:36:09

They have just phoned. Appt is at 2.45. I shall picture a legion of women behind me. No time to find a friend now, I look like the wild woman of Borneo. Will have to get my skates on!

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 13:38:51

coolgran the Senco teacher rep is the person who said they had no issue with grandson missing school as they 'knew the circumstances' (that my daughter was dying)

mostlyharmless Wed 03-Jan-18 13:38:53

These are unforgivable mistakes in a school. Speaking as an ex-teacher the headteacher and all staff should have been aware of the situation and have treated you and your grandson with great sensitivity. Even a large Academy chain school should be able to get this right.
It's a good idea, as you say, to write your points down so that you don't become too sidetracked by emotion.
There should be counselling provided for your grandson through the school from organisations such as "Winston's Wish".
I hope your meeting goes well missadventure.

BlueBelle Wed 03-Jan-18 13:42:57

We re all here with our bovver boots on
You have been treated badly and perhaps your complaint will help someone else in the future look at it that way
GOOD LUCK

mostlyharmless Wed 03-Jan-18 13:45:13

Winston's Wish offers ongoing support to bereaved children and their families. You may find it useful for your grandson.
www.winstonswish.org/

midgey Wed 03-Jan-18 13:58:57

As Bluebelle says we have our bovver boots on and we are all right behind you. Hope they grovel..... shall wait for an update!

Jalima1108 Wed 03-Jan-18 14:21:02

Message deleted by Gransnet.

OurKid1 Wed 03-Jan-18 14:43:05

I've worked in schools for many years and understand how miscommunication happens, but and it's a big but, there is no excuse for this to have happened to you in such an awful set of circumstances. This is not a trivial matter, it's about as serious as it can get for all of you. My thoughts would be to request a meeting with the Headteacher and any person responsible for family liaison or welfare as well as the appropriate Form Tutor and/or Head of Year. Up to you whether you request the presence of the Chairman of the Governors. I would. I would be asking them to ensure that such a thing NEVER happens again, how they intend to do that and request that it is brought up in Staff Briefing, which they should have at least weekly. Also ask that the meeting be minutes and a copy sent to you.
Having said all that though, I'm aware that this is a lot to ask of you after what you have been through and you must do what feels right for you and your grandson. It would be understandable if you've had enough. No-one would think you were wrong to let it lie ... you know your grandson best and it may be best all round to do just that.
It's all to easy for others (like me!) to suggest things, I know that only too well.
Sending understanding and sympathy.

Jalima1108 Wed 03-Jan-18 16:21:19

Actually, my message above was deleted at my own request - why did you not say that GNHQ? confused because I thought better of it after thinking about it.

However, I would just like to say that I was being supportive, MissAdventure and with you all the way.

Jalima1108 Wed 03-Jan-18 16:23:27

Actually, I will repeat the part that matters:

We shall all be there behind you, giving the HT and whoever else is there the Paddington Bear Hard Stare.

(sorry if that sounds frivolous).

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 16:33:39

Didn't we all do well, ladies?
I got a very heartfelt apology, and will be getting a written one, regarding the letter in my daughters name, I also asked that grandson should get some acknowledgement that it upset him.
The head was very forthright and said 'oh, excuse me, I believe you dont have an official order to say that grandson lives with you'. I told her I don't need one, actually, and that they have been informed by email and phone that grandson lives with me. I asked how many more times they need to be informed, and told her how hurtful it is to think our greatest tragedy seems to mean nothing.
She tried to bring up the fact that we didn't attend a meeting, and I reminded her that it was arranged too late, my daughter was in no fit state to see anyone by that time, and died less than a week later. She again said 'oh but we arranged a meeting after then and you didn't want to attend'. I explained that it was 2 days after my daughters death, and of course I wasn't in any fit state.
I told her about a teacher asking grandson why his work had 'gone down' in the last couple of months, and she admitted it was unacceptable.
I did get the feeling that she was trying to wriggle out of it, but I think she realised very well that they have fallen very far short of being 'supportive'.
I did have a cry, but managed to hold it together, and it ended on good terms. Sorry, all a bit rambly, but I'm relieved its done, and wanted to thank you all. smile

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 16:39:06

Oh, almost forgot. I also asked why they are not texting my number with upcoming events and special days. She checked the computer in front of me and just fell silent. My number is there, in an email, sent to the school back in November.
I also have a meeting next week to meet grandsons teacher, and the lady who has been spending some one to one time with him (who I didn't know about - so they have got something right)
She also told me that his work is as good as ever. It hasn't declined at all.

NfkDumpling Wed 03-Jan-18 16:45:49

Well done! I think they should send you a big bouquet of flowers with the letter and write an apology letter direct to your grandson.

mostlyharmless Wed 03-Jan-18 16:47:09

Well done Miss Adventure!
It's a shame that the Head had to be so defensive about the school's mistakes. She should have just accepted the blame and apologised profusely without you having to provide explanations of why you and your daughter couldn't attend meetings. But hopefully she will be more sensitive and supportive in the future.

BlueBelle Wed 03-Jan-18 17:06:27

Phew well done MissAdventure

Maggiemaybe Wed 03-Jan-18 17:12:36

Well done, MissAdventure, for being so strong when you were feeling so vulnerable. I too think the Head could have just apologised wholeheartedly without being defensive, but you've put the record straight and set the scene for improvements to the school systems, not just for your grandson, but for any other child who needs support. flowers

Cold Wed 03-Jan-18 17:48:47

Well done!

Jalima1108 Wed 03-Jan-18 17:57:04

Well done MissAdventure, you were strong and stood up to her.
I still think that the attitude of the Head and the school was and is less than acceptable and that you need a wholehearted apology from her on behalf of all those who failed to support you all.

However, let's hope their attitude will be better in future and that they will be much more supportive.
(Otherwise we will be marching again)

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 18:31:59

Well done to you people. I wouldn't have done it without a push, and it would have festered: my resentment would have grown, and that's no good for anybody. smile
You've no idea how much of a help you've been.
Also, special thanks to silverlining48 who has been helping me too, quietly though, because she has the lurgy. flowers

trisher Wed 03-Jan-18 18:39:20

Oh well done MissAdventure congratulations.

Iam64 Wed 03-Jan-18 18:57:43

Well done Miss Adventure, it's so tough to face up to those who have behaved badly and misused their power. I've been shocked and distressed to read of your experiences with your grandsons school and I admire the way you've held it together and challenged where necessary without losing your cool. Here's hoping the head teacher now takes a more effective lead in meeting your grandsons holistic needs. Her comment that you'd declined to attend a meeting made me so cross!

silverlining48 Wed 03-Jan-18 19:22:53

Thanks missA happy to have helped. Well do ne for saying what needed to be said, you should be pleased with yourself. I hope things improve at school from now on. However like other g/ netters, am not impressed with the head. X

NannyTee Wed 03-Jan-18 19:27:09

Congrats MissAdventure . What a weight lifted for you. Well done x

OldMeg Wed 03-Jan-18 21:46:18

Well done MissAdventure. Now the HT and the school know exactly what the situation is and that a feisty gran is on the case.

Marydoll Wed 03-Jan-18 22:04:54

MissAdventure , well done! I hope things improve from now on. I was horrified at the way the school dealt with your family.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jan-18 22:09:38

Me too, Marydoll. The things outlined today are just the tip of the iceberg really, but hopefully today has ironed some things out, and made clear that I meant what I said. Even if I did blub..
Again, thank you all.

OurKid1 Thu 04-Jan-18 08:50:50

Excellent work MissA! As someone else said, it's a pity the HT tried to offload some of the blame on to you ... but all round I'd say that's a result. I hope lessons have been learned and that they behave very differently in future. x

Elrel Fri 05-Jan-18 00:57:38

Well done - wishing you and GS all the best for the future. 💐

MissAdventure Fri 05-Jan-18 01:03:24

smile thank you.

grannyactivist Fri 05-Jan-18 01:17:33

Not sure how I missed this thread MissA, but I would have said pretty much the same as others did and I'm so glad that this ongoing difficulty is on the way to being sorted at last. It was very brave of you to persevere and not let this slide. You'll never know about it, but some time in the future you may just have helped another young person at the school who has suffered a bereavement from having to go through similar difficulties. flowers

WilmaKnickersfit Fri 05-Jan-18 01:35:59

Glad to hear things are getting sorted after your efforts. New Year, new term, let's hope things go well for you and your DGS from now on. flowers

Nadcho Mon 12-Mar-18 17:21:12

Hello guys
I have gone through few post on this forum thought of sharing my issue and getting some feed back and suggestions my issue with secondary school of my daughter.

My daughter has been in secondary school since September 2017 and this February we had her report send to us by school for last 5 months . And what we saw in report was completely shocking , her academic performance was really low , and her ATL was extremely bad . So has parent thought of fixing meeting with school to find out more about the issue . But when went for meeting there was no constructive or productive solution by school .
Issue which I raised with school after speaking to my daughter

1) why were parents not connected when her performance was going down , the only way we found out about this is my report from school after 5 months

2) what has school done to support her to improve her performance level .

3) The other thing which was reflected in report was my daughter is really chatty and not focused . But her she was never like this in fact she is very committed, self motivated , enthusiastic and very compatative kid

4) we feel some of the teachers are picking on her and she is blamed for anything and everything that happens in class.

During our meeting nothing came out I’m thinking of escalating this further any advice will highly appreciate.

Thanks

Nadcho Mon 12-Mar-18 17:22:39

Hello guys
I have gone through few post on this forum thought of sharing my issue and getting some feed back and suggestions my issue with secondary school of my daughter.

My daughter has been in secondary school since September 2017 and this February we had her report send to us by school for last 5 months . And what we saw in report was completely shocking , her academic performance was really low , and her ATL was extremely bad . So has parent thought of fixing meeting with school to find out more about the issue . But when went for meeting there was no constructive or productive solution by school .
Issue which I raised with school after speaking to my daughter

1) why were parents not connected when her performance was going down , the only way we found out about this is my report from school after 5 months

2) what has school done to support her to improve her performance level .

3) The other thing which was reflected in report was my daughter is really chatty and not focused . But her she was never like this in fact she is very committed, self motivated , enthusiastic and very compatative kid

4) we feel some of the teachers are picking on her and she is blamed for anything and everything that happens in class.

During our meeting nothing came out I’m thinking of escalating this further any advice will highly appreciate.

Thanks

eazybee Mon 12-Mar-18 19:26:56

Is there a form tutor/class teacher/personal tutor, Head of House you can liaise with regularly?
Is there a home school book you and the school can write comments in?
Is there a plan for improvement with targets to be met?

You have been informed of her poor performance and now it is up to you to work with the school to help her improve .
Ignore 'the teachers picking on her' for the moment; focus on her disruptive behaviour in class and insist she tells you why.
Whatever you do, work with the school, not against them; that is unproductive.

trisher Mon 12-Mar-18 20:30:39

I agree with eazybee nothing will come of taking a combative stance with the schol right now. They may well ask why you didn't check her homework and spot that she wasn't doing well.As for her behaviour in school if I had a pound for every time a parent has told me their child wasn't something or other I'd be worth a fortune She's started a new school she sounds as if she is making her mark by behaving badly. Talk to her, but present a united front with the school. A home school book is a great idea.

Faye Mon 12-Mar-18 22:07:14

I have only just read this thread. I am so sorry to read about your daughter MissAdventure. flowers

MissAdventure Mon 12-Mar-18 22:12:05

Thank you, Faye, and as an extra P.S to the thread, I had to phone the school 2 weeks ago, to ask why I hadn't ever received a text or email from them.
A recorded delivery letter went off to the headmistress on Friday last week, informing her.

silverlining48 Tue 13-Mar-18 10:04:31

Oh MissA, what a struggle that you should never have had to go through. Shame on that school. I hope your latest letter might improve things. flowers

trisher Tue 13-Mar-18 10:24:34

MissA How dreadful for you. You have had such a struggle. I don't understand what is going on in your GS's school. Sometimes schools are incompetent and things slip through, but usually they do act when pushed. You seem to have somewhere not only incompetent but totally insensitive. I am totally ashamed to have ever been a member of the same profession as these people. Stay strong and do let us know if you ever get good news.