Grandson has failed his Degree

I suspect he is more miserable about the parental attitude than anything else. As others have said, is this a route he would have chosen for himself. Did he enjoy his time at uni? Did he struggle all the way through?

Encourage him to be brave and make his own choices. He could return and try to do better, or take a completely different path to the job market.

What he has learnt will never be wasted. You need to have a firm word with his mother who is making this poor lad miserable.

All too often, youngsters are pushed into striving for certain achievements because "it's what their parents want". The pressure to succeed must be immense and for this young persons mother to be angry with him is disgusting. She should feel ashamed of herself, not of him for failing.

Give your GS time and space and let him make his own decisions on his future.

Doodledog

A third is NOT a fail. It is an honours degree. A pass degree is not a fail either.

Good grief.

Carol Vorderman got a third in Engineering

What was the degree in CrazyH, just out of interest.
And I’m very sorry to hear about your grandson’s predicament.
This needs to be kept in perspective

So did David Dimbleby get a third!
I used to be a bit of an intellectual snob and think where the degree was from was more important than its grade. Now I'm far more impressed by a person's honest work ethic and their character, degree or not.

A few years ago, my daughter went to Bristol University to do a business course. After a few weeks she said she didn’t like it so I told her to come home but she said Mum you’ve bought all the books. It would be a waste, I said I don’t care if you’re not enjoying it you must come home.
she then took a few months out and went travelling including Australia. When she came back, she went to an agency and got a part-time job in the office of a sprinkler company, she was 19. She came home one day and said mum they want a junior quantity surveyor. Should I apply for it I said yes go ahead.She got it
she stayed there a couple of years and then came and said to me she wanted to go to London. She had to go for an interview in Bristol. She got the job went to London and worked for a big company in the city(she worked on the Shard)She is now an independent quantity surveyor doing very well for herself so really, I would not worry, but I know that’s easier said than done..

Disappointing his parents does sound like the major upset in this case crazyH. I hope he can get over that!
We are privileged in Scotland with no university fees yet so those, like my DD who had a false start can try something else without penalty
Her accommodation costs were the major expense so she came to live at home when she had changed direction.
I hope your DGS finds some sensible advice from his uni to help him decide what to do next. He's so young!

Joseann

So did David Dimbleby get a third!
I used to be a bit of an intellectual snob and think where the degree was from was more important than its grade. Now I'm far more impressed by a person's honest work ethic and their character, degree or not.

I’ve always thought that it’s more difficult to get a good mark from Scumbag College than Oxbridge, because you are likely to get better teaching and resources at the latter.

But as the proud alumnus of a Scumbag College, I would say that!

He will get over it and learn from it about himself and his future will still be bright. I had friends with attitudes regarding both of their sons degrees. They themselves not having them but insisting their boys gained a first. They didn’t one failed completely but both now have good jobs and incomes.

At the start of each semester students know where they need to improve as they have their results. The marks from each module predicts the possible result of degree at the end of study. It should not come as a surprise or shock when results do come in.

After three years or more depending on subject chosen there has been a lot of work done to achieve a degree. No person can take it away from you be it a first or a third. It’s an achievement and it can still be taken into consideration when choosing a career. It proves commitment and discipline which are both important attributes.

It will be good for your GS to spend some quality time with you. He may be more likely to open up to you than to his parents. Thirty years ago DS2 got a 1st and his partner a 2.2 at the same time. Now both are equally successful but guess which one has the company car. DS1, who has learned in the 'University of Life' is also successful and happy.

You need to have a firm word with his mother who is making this poor lad miserable.

I hope you're doing that CrazyH, as his mother's attitude and the family expectations will be weighing on your DGS regardless of cheering up he gets from you.

FC - Business Studies
Yes - my daughter is now cross, because he has been invited to this trip to Bluestone. Can’t win 😫

crazyH

FC - Business Studies
Yes - my daughter is now cross, because he has been invited to this trip to Bluestone. Can’t win 😫

Oh please have a stern word with her! The poor lad is obviously upset enough, he doesn't need his mother to pile on the disappointment. As already mentioned, I would be warning her to tread very carefully, without sounding too alarmist, young male suicide is a real problem. She needs to give the lad a break.

I agree Fanny that's one reason for going to Oxbridge. Their facilities and small tutorial groups are excellent. funded by grateful rich alumni

But it's all a learning curve and as long as the OPs DGS and others like him can rise above the disappointment and find a happy path in life, what else matters.

I remember the headmaster having a special assembly before we started our O levels, and saying that when we got old and looked back over our lives, if the worst thing that had happened was that we’d failed some exams we would have been very blessed.

I think he was right.

Sounds like a good headmaster!

Yes, Doodledog they even have the same chat about that when the kids do their SATs now.

CrazyH if you don’t mind me asking, why do you / he think that he didn’t do well?

Was he out of his depth; or his mind on other things?

I did absolutely horrendously in my A levels.

I just didn’t do any revision at all (in fact, I didn’t know how to revise - which I think was a common problem).

I didn’t even read some of the key texts.

Some how my course work must have outweighed the abysmal exam results, and I just about squeezed through

I was far too busy with my social life, and subconsciously I don’t think that I was ready to leave home

no idea what bluestone is, but i do know that as they say over on MN, his mother needs to give her head a wobble.
i hope she is not part of the bluestone expedition.

He can appeal his grade. He would need to look at the paperwork in his Uni handbook or online to see how to go about an appeal.

Maybe there was extenuating circumstances around the time he was doing his degree? Possibly even things he’s not disclosed such as a learning difficult, anxiety, depression, stress… so many difficulties young students go through at Uni.

But if he is going to do that ask for him to do it quickly. There’s a time limit to do these things in.

He can contact the Student Union, or speak to the Student Welfare Office. There’s also the complains, conduct and appeals department who would be able to advise him.

Wishing him good luck

In 10 years time this will not matter if his family are there for him now! If his is a sensitive soul there is a real risk of them pushing him into making poor decisions or even suicide. Tell them to back of and give this lad your unconditional love.

It has been in the news lately that a degree does NOT guarantee a better income in later life. If his family are so upset about this that he has left the house, I really feel for him. Maybe academia is not for him? There is no shame in going down a different route.

Sometimes too much pressure is put on young people, especially when others in the family do well, he must be so glad he has you for support.

If he can’t resit his finals, he might find it easier to obtain his degree by looking at a modern apprenticeship, where he can earn and learn on the Job, and do day release for his degree.
My Son did this rather than Uni and is now a Senior Buyer for a well known construction company. My grandson intends to do the same, but in Cyber security or similar.
Tell him not to be so disheartened, there are loads of opportunities out there for youngsters who want to achieve.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I’d ask him what he had been planning to do with his degree. Was it essential for a desired career path or just something he felt he had to do? If he was doing it because it was expected of him and without great enthusiasm then he will find his way without it. My youngest went to Uni and gained his degree because despite what we said he felt he had to because his older siblings had followed this path. He then joined the fire service where it wasn’t needed and spent years paying off his loan!

crazyH I know a young man who did abysmally in his degree. Over the years he has studied and now has aMasters and a high vocational qualification. A few years ago he started his own company and is doing extremely well.
His mother admitted that at 18 she thought he was too young to go to university; and he was. There is always a way and the time to catch up. I did a second degree when I was 40. Good luck to your GD.