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Education

School refuser, advice needed!

(117 Posts)
sankev Sun 01-Mar-26 16:45:40

My GS is 14. School wasn’t a problem until high school. Since then he’s swapped schools twice and now refuses point blank to go. Eventually my DD swapped her working hours and agreed to home school him. Now he refuses to do this! Many excuses have been given, bullying and harassment at both schools but to be honest I don’t think has actually been the case. I think he just refuses to try and can not cope with anything. Slightest thing and he just gives up. My DD is at the end of her tether and is terrified of being fined or worse because she can’t get him to comply with anything! She has other children who attend school normally but obviously is worried about the influence all this is having on them. Dad has moved on with a new partner and refuses to help. I have no idea how to help and wonder if anyone else out there has been through anything similar. Or any thoughts or suggestions.

sankev Thu 05-Mar-26 16:44:55

Thank you Cossy, it’s nice to see some positivity 🙏

eazybee Thu 05-Mar-26 16:56:36

The most important thing: does your grandson want to do this course.
That matters more than anything.

sankev Fri 06-Mar-26 06:43:43

Yes he really does. He loves working with his hands and being outside. He desperately wants to work with his uncle and would do so now if he were legally allowed. He does go out with him to price up jobs and can actually do very accurate calculations himself. I feel quite positive about his long term prospects, at the moment I am really trying to help him and my very stressed daughter navigate the demands of the education authority to support him until he ages out. And yes I do understand the LEA and only doing there job and they provide a very valuable resource but there are exceptions to the rule sometimes and I feel this is probably one of those.

NotSpaghetti Fri 06-Mar-26 11:42:46

Maybe look up "deschooling"

Sometimes it takes a long time to put school behind you and set off on a new more positive path.

There will almost certainly be an "Education Otherwise" group near you - or a home education group.

My daughter uses Facebook to keep in touch with other home-educators.
Not at all the same as when we were home educating - but even then there were maybe 80 families in our county.

Thinking of you all.

Caleo Mon 09-Mar-26 11:00:00

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

Caleo Mon 09-Mar-26 11:01:23

Caleo

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

Skills and creative ideas are not mutually inconsistent.

M0nica Mon 09-Mar-26 14:14:41

Caleo

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

Why not? I am employing a lot of tradesmen currently as we are doing up aa house and I have had fascinating discussins with several of the tradesmen, brutalist architecture with one (He liked it, I hate it). I have given tours of our house (it is over 500 years old) and discussed its construction use and history, including all the witch signs, and learnt a lot about the construction and dates for some ofthe brickwork from my tradesmen.

Allira Mon 09-Mar-26 14:28:13

Caleo

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

I don't mind in the slightest if he or she is a published poet or historian. We could chat happily about either in the coffee breaks.

However, it is totally irrelevant to becoming a qualified electrician, whereas Maths, Physics and competency in the English language is.

When I plug in the washing machine I want to know that the person who rewired my house had the required qualifications, not that he or she was the new Lord Byron or Simon Schama, fascinating though they might be.

Allira Mon 09-Mar-26 14:29:54

In fact, that comes across as a load of pretentious intellectualism.

Caleo Tue 10-Mar-26 10:54:19

Allira

Caleo

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

I don't mind in the slightest if he or she is a published poet or historian. We could chat happily about either in the coffee breaks.

However, it is totally irrelevant to becoming a qualified electrician, whereas Maths, Physics and competency in the English language is.

When I plug in the washing machine I want to know that the person who rewired my house had the required qualifications, not that he or she was the new Lord Byron or Simon Schama, fascinating though they might be.

The best linguistic register for communicating information about practical matters is explicit language. Explicit language is learned from others who can use it and from some printed material.

welbeck Thu 12-Mar-26 14:57:32

An electrician needs to be up to date on their qualification.
It's a trade qualification.
Academic ability is irrelevant.

Allira Thu 12-Mar-26 15:10:47

Oh dear.

You'd think apprenticeships for becoming a tradesperson such as an electrician etc was open to anyone without a single qualification.
Similar to the most mundane job such as stacking shelves (yes, I did that job once for a short time when I was young and it's more technical than you think but doesn't require a single GCSE).

Some countries respect their skilled tradespeople.
It is obvious the British do not.

Allira Thu 12-Mar-26 15:15:07

Caleo

Allira

Caleo

M0nica

Allira

I don't want to employ a tradesperson, especially an electrician, who has not managed to gain a qualification in Maths, English and Physics.

Personally, I would prefer to employ a well trained and able electrician, rather than one who has gained a ualification in maths, English, physics, but who is really useless at electrical work.

Why not a skilled , qualified electrician who is also a published poet or historian?

I don't mind in the slightest if he or she is a published poet or historian. We could chat happily about either in the coffee breaks.

However, it is totally irrelevant to becoming a qualified electrician, whereas Maths, Physics and competency in the English language is.

When I plug in the washing machine I want to know that the person who rewired my house had the required qualifications, not that he or she was the new Lord Byron or Simon Schama, fascinating though they might be.

The best linguistic register for communicating information about practical matters is explicit language. Explicit language is learned from others who can use it and from some printed material.

Of course!

Of course! Lord Byron is very explicit about Ohm's Law, MCBs, Impedance. I remember his poem called Phase.

welbeck Thu 12-Mar-26 15:18:36

I don't understand the last comment.
Why would you think being an electrician is or should be an unskilled ie not needing a qualification.

Allira Thu 12-Mar-26 15:23:23

welbeck

I don't understand the last comment.
Why would you think being an electrician is or should be an unskilled ie not needing a qualification.

Exactly what part of my comment do you not understand?

I said exactly the opposite.

It is other posters who think you do not require a certain level of intelligence to become an electrician or any other skilled tradesperson in fact.
In fact, they must have intelligence and common sense.

I think the opposite.

Allira Thu 12-Mar-26 15:24:24

I think the opposite.
To those who claim they do not need a degree of intelligence.