Hi Holyhannah, I do need to respond from the message you posted to give some extended facts. My gd whom my daughter had the problem with no longer lives with me, her dad, my son found his own place with his partner and gd a couple of years ago now.
As for taking my daughter to the side to try to work all this out I have been asking to meet with her alone for 2 months now, away from any child, along with her partner, or to speak with her partner alone, she has refused point blank. Just to talk and try to get some resolve, to listen to her and for her me, instead of relying on texts which do sometimes get misconstrued.
My husband clearly was upset and angry when he first heard the allegation. He did ignore the comments for weeks, and only made the decision to speak with the police to go and have words with my d and the bf because I received a call from my son. His child attends the same nursery as my daughters child, ( 2 gd attend same nursery). The manager of the nursery pulled my son to one side explaining that my d and her bf had disclosed the unpleasant information of my husband being a peodophile and to look out for any signs of abuse towards his children, my 11yr old and 10 month old gc. This was the last straw prompting my husband to speak to police. My son loves his step dad, my husband, and knows without a doubt my husband has never hurt any child. The police intervention was purely to ask that they stop spreading their opinions, as the police stated, no evidence, gd has never said anybody has physically touched her inappropriately, no proof, and nobody has the right to run around speaking out. He said people can think what they like but to tell every Joe blogs is unacceptable. We live in a very small town and unfortunately mud sticks even when there is no truth in the matter. It can ruin lives, peoples livelihood everything. My husband is one of the most unconfrontational people I know yet he went to my d to speak with her and the bf but they wouldn't open the door. The bf is 6ft 1, 30 yr old man, my husband is a 5ft 9, 63 yr old. So he certainly wasnt a threat to this young man who can clearly look after himself.
The call I received from a barrister yesterday disclosed that when grandparents decide to sit back in the hope their family will come around to allow contact with their gc they are actually wasting precious time. He said before a person knows it 2 years have past and then the courts dont tend to look at it the same as if it had only been a few weeks. They believe because of the time span there is no relationship between gp and gc anymore. He advised the sooner a gp takes the legal recourse the higher the chances are of being given visitation. I have told my daughter of my intention if she doesn't allow me contact or to even talk with her face to face in the hope she sees sense. I have explained that I would be alone, not that this hasn't always been the case. The last thing I want is to sever the relationship permanently but I don't see I have any other option.
I'm not wanting to go down the legal route for just my own wants and needs. Plus the expense of money I do not have to spare, credit card has to be the way. It's about my gc as well, my 3yr old doesn't have a voice yet, but what I do know is she throws her arms around my neck, running into my arms the second she sees me, she never leaves me alone for one second when I visit her so I know she wants and needs me too in her life to continue giving her the love and care I have always done since the day she was born....