Child arrangement court order

I just didn't want you to be hurt in the meantime

I appreciate that LostChild and thank you for it.

Lost you said "Often emotional abuse literally changes a growing child's brain. You don't have to hit someone to cause physical changes. There are plenty of stress related illnesses. There are anxiety disorders with physical symptoms. Complex post traumatic stress syndrome and let's not forget self harm and suicide. All may result from emotional abuse." I entirely agree but do parents who prevent children from seeing people they have a good relationship with abuse their children? I think they do.

notanan2 Tue 03-Sep-19 22:57:06 yes, and that is good. It appears the courts are starting to take the same approach to GPs who have been cut off for no reason.

Smile I can see why you feel so hurt, some of the comments on here are very unpleasant. Unfortunately there seem to be some here who have come on just to show their hatred of people they know and are not open-minded enough to see that there are other points of view. Please don't let them upset you, they are so narrow minded and blinkered you should take no notice.

I have seen what it is like for a man to be controlled by his partner, to be forced to choose between her and his family and give in because he has no choice. Some women are bullies and think only of themselves, they have to control everything. I feel most sorry for the children who will countably be damaged by it all.

Thank you nonnie you're right. I shouldn't take any notice and I don't often take things to heart, but it's a different thing for me entirely if my DH is the one being subjected to the mean spirited comments that we sometimes see here on GN.

Yes, Smile we want to protect our own and I am so sorry that you have been put through this. The lack of empathy is astounding but please notice the new names who may have come over from the other place specifically for this purpose.

Nonnie, I actually didn't stop anyone seeing my children. I said she could see them and she wouldn't unless I went with them. After a year or so she did start asking to see them, but by that point they were happy and settled and hadn't missed her or shown any signs they missed her. To be fair, she didn't really bother with them much. So I don't have much of an answer to your question because it depends on the circumstances doesn't it?

notanan's post was too closely linked to mine for it to have been a general statement. If she did not intend it to have the affect on me that it did, only she can say so.

Whats the point? If people disagreeing you makes you so apoplectic there's no point in engaging! I could say "I like pretty flowers" and you would claim I said "Im going to find out where smileless lives and kill her cat"

Come over from what other place? Who am I being lumped in with?

For other posters, go back and read that whole page in context not just the little bit smileless plucked out and twisted and made ugly.

Smileless said estrangement is a form of abuse
I said estrangement isnt a form of abuse in the same way that divorce isnt a form of abuse.

Whilst discussing divorce one of the scenarios I refered to was when an abuser is divorced and blames the partner for "making them" spiral downwards after the divorce as one of the examples of how whatever a divorced person feels or says they feel after a divorce, the divorce itself is not "abuse"

If my desctiption of an abuser felt familiar to Smileless, think about it: how on earth would I know that she would recognise her husband in that post? It was nothing to do with "abused children" for a start it was about adults ending an abusive relationship!

..... with other adults!

It was clear to me it wasn't personal.

I really cant imagine how anyone read that and saw it as an adult:child scenario I re read it and still think its clearly about adult relationships!

I can only suppose that its a snow queen scenario: like the boy with the ugly glass in his eye who sees everything in an uglier way.

Notanan....

No one is apoplectic. Smiles asked you to stand up for your comments or apologise for them-quite a reasonable request.

whats the point (in engaging)?
You write. Then go on to Engage over and over.....but not, I note with smileless!
That is a tactic used over and over on the estrangement threads.
Snipe from the sidelines, then deny culpability.

It takes a big person to state their case without resorting to childish behaviour, and a courageous one to re evaluate and if necessary apologise.

Notanan2 did not make any personal statements.

If anybody feels they apply to her/him, he/she should examine why they hit so close to home.

Nonnie

Lost child.. I’m not ignoring your posts, just moving on for a while.
I hope you find some clarification and help on gn.

Namsnanny the childishness of making this general discussion personal in this instance is all Smileless and not me.

When I have discussed Smileless's personal situation on another recent thread she has had my agreement and sympathy. And on this thread, my personal comments directed at Smileness's personal situation have been to comment that she has put her GCs welfare above the adult politics re her decision to not go to court!

Yet she is determined to see me as her enemy and I cant convince her otherwise so it doesnt do me, her, or fellow posters to continue to engage with her re a fantasical scenario that doesnt actually exist! I said nothing even tenuously related to there being child abuse in her family!

I will engage with other posters on this issue in so much as to defend myself against smileless's personal accusations aimed at me, but I hope it all dies down soon and the threat can get back to the topic.

That applies to you also hithere, as you have decided to comment.
Btw, where and when did you get your phd in psychiatry?

Smileless has actually accused me of libel: I made no accusations about her DH commiting child abuse!. It is a serious accusation against me and I do think a line was crossed and have asked GN to intervene.

So while I will end my engagement with her! I will defend myself.

It is bullying of the worst degree to make false accusations of legal offenses against anther poster just because you see yourself as "opposing sides" (even though I do not see it like that)

For the record: I do not know who Smileless's husband is! I do not know who Smileless is! I know nothing about theor identities or whether or not anyone in their family is guilty of child abuse!

I also feel forced to point out that if I had any suspicion or knowledge of child abuse, historic or otherwise, I would not jeopardise any potential court case by posting about it on GN (or elsewhere) and would instead alert the authorities.

Hopefully that clears things up until GN can come along "clean up" the mess and hopefully delete the lot of it just leaving the non personal stuff

Notanan...it’s just a suggestion on my part, but maybe a re look at the bias in you choice of language maybe helpful at this point?
No insult intended by using the word bias, but at no point can you be accused of ambiguity!

You must agree that you spend a lot of your time and energy engaged in this topic.
Presumably that means you are invested in it too?

I think an unwillingness to concede ‘points’ impairs serious discussion, and promotes personal differences.

Surely it can be agreed that the welfare of the children comes first, with the object of building a cohesive happy family unit around them?

Therefore Both P and Gp’s need to step up and assume an emotionally mature attitude.

All the issues surrounding dominance and control, only succeed in weakening the child’s healthy perspective of how to accept and give love to ALL members of the family, as a child and when they try to build a family of their own as adults!?

I think some will never see anything useful in what I have said, but I had thought you might be above that.

Unfortunately there seem to be some here who have come on just to show their hatred of people they know and are not open-minded enough to see that there are other points of view. Please don't let them upset you, they are so narrow minded and blinkered you should take no notice.

The absolute irony of this is hilarious

Summerlove
Ikr

namsnanny. I will agree that a child’s welfare should come first. Sometimes that means a parent should allow a grandparent to see the child despite disagreements, and sometimes that means a grandparent needs to give up on a grandchild due to disagreements. Each situation is different and each one is unique.