Hello everyone, a friend recommended me to this page. I would appreciate some advice to this issue.
My lovely son had been with DIL for seven years, married for three. They have a beautiful little 2 year old girl that I adore, although I’ve never been allowed the amount of care that I’m used to with my other son’s children.
About a year after they had GD, DIL had a miscarriage. It was during the Christmas season and she was reasonably upset. I did my best to sympathize, without it effecting the rest of the family’s festivities, of course.
The following May they had another loss. We had popped in for a surprise weekend visit over Mother’s Day (we live a few hours drive from them) and DIL did not seem pleased. The visit further soured when my son told us she was experiencing yet another pregnancy loss. She spent all weekend shut away in her room while we played with GD in the main room. She didn’t come to Mother’s Day lunch and asked not to be given a gift, and didn’t even say goodbye when we left.
After that weekend DIL distanced from me and DH. She removed me from social media and wouldn’t chat with us on the phone when we called my son. It was obvious she was losing it. When I recommended that she go visit a physician for her mental health, she threw a fit. I was no longer allowed contact with her at all, or my lovely GD. This was last May.
We saw DIL, my son and GD at Christmas with family, but she didn’t speak to me nor even look in my direction. We heard through the grapevine that she had another loss in September, and I was outraged I wasn’t told by her or my son. For goodness sake, these are my grandchildren she’s losing.
Anyway, come to find out she’s pregnant again and due in September. This one seems to be progressing fine as she’s well into the trimester. I’m hurt that my son waited so long to tell me, and they didn’t let us know what has changed to cause this pregnancy to thrive where the others hadn’t. Life changes? Medication? IVF? I believe we have a right to know.
But my biggest issue is that she hasn’t warmed back up to us yet. Yes, we still have occasional contact with my son and see GD over FaceTime, but she still doesn’t include me in pregnancy news and hasn’t invited us round or to stay for the weekend in nearly a year. When should I expect her to be over this? She has her baby, shouldn’t she be getting over this?