SUPPORT for all living with the pain of estrangement

The posters are right Smileless2012 you are always so positive and kind to everyone and you look at things from a good perspective.

I have read all the posts and thinking of you all.
Your post made me laugh Hugshelp and I hope your DH was okay after the top of the wardrobe collapsed just look on the bright side it could have been worse.

I have not written the note to my daughter yet as I need to calmly collect all my thoughts together and tell her much of what she says to me is often hurtful. Such a difficult thing to do, and something she will probably deny.
Take care all.

You're very kind 3nanny, thank you.

I think you're doing absolutely the right thing taking your time over your note to your D.

When you've put one together that you're happy with, it might be an idea to put it to one side and re read it the following day, to see how it 'feels'.

There's no rush and as you say it's a difficult thing to do. I remember how hard it was for me writing to our ES for the last time to say 'goodbye'.

Remember you are doing this for you. It's to help you deal with your current situation

PS I've just pm'd you 3nanny x

3nanny6 so wise to take your time. I always put something aside and then reread , as Smileless suggests, it helps to ensure that you are truly happy with what you have written and that you have not missed anything etc .

Evening , please may I join your thread, feeling somewhat stressed today.

Bridie22 anyone can join and is welcome.

Thank you.

Bridie22 ... I was just about to wish every one a good night when I read your post.
Can I ask is the stress caused by estrangement?

hugshelp .... hope Mr H has recovered his equilibrium! Again thank you for the good wishes.

PetitFromage ... Yes your right, things do change, I too hope they are changing for the better.
Thinking of you and your situation.

Better to get it right than to rush things 3nanny

Hello bridie22 want to share your burden? If not hope it eases soon. x

Mr H is fine thanks all, though we're still trying to get to the bottom of the plumbing issues, may have to call a plumber but it's all so complicated these days - how do you social distance with people who need to wander round your home? How do you pay them with the problems with cash etc? We'll work it out I expect but Mr H wants another look, after we've finished fixing the wardrobe and moved it out of the way, and dragged in the bigger steps...

Good advice as always from smiles and madgran

Have a good night all, may tomorrow be a good day for all.

Thank you ladies, yes my stress and sadness is caused by an estrangement, I will sit here awhile if that's OK until I feel comfortable talking about it.

Of course!

My allergies have been playing up and my eye is swollen and red. Sore throat and sinus badly irritated.
This often happens when I'm low.
So I think I'll take some antihistamine and get to sleep.

I hope you do too Bridie22

Hope you manage a goodnight sleep.

Morning everyone. Welcome to the support thread Bridie, it's lovely to see you here. Take all the time you need to make yourself comfortable.

Goodness Namsnanny I hope you managed to get a good night' sleep and the antihistamine helped.

I expect if you need to call a plumber hugshelp s/he will be wearing a mask and maybe you'll need to to the same. I'm glad you've managed to fix the wardrobe and that Mr. H. didn't need fixing too.

Men are funny aren't they. Mr. S. will start a job without making all the necessary arrangements. We got a new TV for our kitchen diner yesterday and he was busily getting it set up, pulling out the unit it stands on and leaving the dog's water bowl, where it was. I got there just in time to prevent water going all over the floor.

Well I'm bracing myself to go shopping this morning wearing a face mask. I'm claustrophobic so not sure how well I'll be able to cope.

I've told Mr. S. that if it's getting too much for me by the time we get to the checkout in Aldi, he'll have to finish off on his own so I can get outside, and take the mask off.

Thank you Bridie fitful, but at least my eye is back to the normal size, if still red!
I hope you slept too?

Yes going to the shops can be a very stressful cant it Smileless?
I haven't been recently couldn't stir my stumps.
But I only sat in the car anyway as the anxiety took over if I even saw a queue!!
Gosh stress really does change ones perception!
I've been trying to start a gratitude journal, as PetitFromage therapist suggested. To be fair I haven't much hope it enthusiasm to write anything down, but at least I,ve found a book to do so if and when.

I'm grateful for everyone here. Very grateful at the moment. At least I can rouse myself to write that down!

Have a calm day
X

Good morning all, and hello to the newcomer Bridie, who I am sure you will post more on your estrangement when you feel comfortable.
Thank-you to everyone as you are all telling me to take my time in regard of the note that I will be doing to send to my daughter. I shall put something together over the weekend
and as suggested read it over several times
It's difficult for me as I want to tell her a few things that I need to happen in the relationship so I can better deal with the situation we are in.
Today I am ready with my face mask as I need some shopping. I have worn one several times in the week just to be comfortable for today. I feel quite at ease wearing one and the only time I get anxious is if I wear it for too long and begin to feel too warm. I shall get a certain amount of shopping and if things get a bit anxious just go to check-out
pay my money and go back another day.

Namsnanny although you had a sore eye I hope you managed to sleep without too much pain.
The gratitude diary that PetitFromage suggested to you is a good idea in fact I used to do one myself and may start again. The very simplest of things that make us feel grateful
is all you need to start you off, so easy just give it a go.
I am off to the shops masked up and ready.

Well my first shopping experience wearing a mask didn't go well.

Me v's face mask round one.

Mr. S. went to the bank while I went to Wilko's. I put on my light weight mask just before going in and immediately panic set in. I can't have been in there for 10 minutes and had to keep pulling the mask forward.

By the time I got to the check out, I was getting into such a state that I didn't pack everything I'd bought. I heard someone calling out 'just a minute' as I virtually sprinted for the door, and it was only when she caught up with me outside, that I realised what I'd done.

Round two

Mr. S. suggested I put the mask over my mouth leaving my nose free so into Aldi we went. It was better but still a struggle and by the time we'd emptied the contents of the trolley onto the conveyor belt I'd had enough and had to leave Mr. S. to finish off.

So by my reckoning it's a draw, I didn't win but neither did the face mask. I can see though that the ultimate winner will be the face mask as this is most definitely going to seriously curb my shopping trips!!

Hop you have a better experience than I did 3nanny6.

or hope even

Sending you warm thoughts and healing wishes as you sit a while * Bridie22*

I have similar allergies Namsnanny - thank goodness for a bit of relief from antihistamines. Baby steps with the journal, hope it starts to help soon.

Oh dear the shopping trip sounded fraught smiles. You were brave to give it a go all the same.
I have to confess we're just sticking with online still. I really think I've become too wussy to go shopping. But we had a lovely visit to see our daughter and her partner and the weather was very nice, thought it's turning back to rain now.

Hope your shopping trip went ok 3nanny

Thank you hugshelp.
Pleased the eye is easing Namsnanny
Try wearing the mask at home awhile smileless, it might help.
First tea with grandson today since lock down, he always makes my heart smile.
Good wishes to all.

I went shopping in Lidl yesterday, almost all were wearing masks, as I did for the first time, not enjoyable!

Had a meeting with one of the clubs I work for beforehand, back teaching as of tomorrow, is a little worrying, as can't wear a mask whilst teaching. Half numbers in classes, all marked out were to place mats & only 45mins. Looking forward to getting back to normal again [happy]

Whilst in Lidl, I was sure I saw my est.D & GD going in, just before me. Walking down the isle, trying to catch a glimpse, until I couldn't stand it any more & went round looking for her, started walking down the isle where 'she' was, but as always; not her! Just called myself an idiot!, but still thinking was that not who I saw walking in & she's down another isle, but stopped there and got on with my shopping. What would I have done if it had been her, I really can't say!

Love to all on here with a bleeding heart. So many stories of painful estrangements. I still cannot fathom why our adored AC would do such a heartless & cruel deed.

OhYogagirl that must have been awful and takes me back to the time before we moved when we did see our ES. It's a horrible feeling and literally makes you feel physically sick.

I'm glad you're getting back to work tomorrow; it's been a long time.

We had a great time last night with our lovely girls who came round for a BBQ. The first time we've spent time together since the lock down began.

I'm glad you got to visit your D and her partner hugshelp and the weather was good. A bit ofmakes all the difference doesn't it.

I'm going to give that a go Bridie; good idea.

So sorry that some of you found the face masks uncomfortable. Smileless2012 it sounds that panic well and truly set in which must have been distressing for you. There is an exemption form on the Gov website that you can download to your phone and just show it to security in the shops, I am sure you do not have to go through your doctors for any signatures, if you can't wear one then try for exemption.
I went to the supermarket and wore my mask and was okay with it, did not bother me much although when I came out I
was happy to remove it and take some much needed breaths.

I was more in a panic with what happened to me later when I was organizing the dear dogs food and seeing about getting my meal ready. It was 7.45 pm and as I walked into the kitchen the light went off and I heard the click of my T.V. switch off and there I was finding myself with a power cut which was in all the surrounding houses as well.
It was starting to get dark and as I have a large dark blind in the kitchen so any light was limited. Luckily I was able to see to the dogs but I could not get all the stuff together for my salad it was too dark.
Electrical power did not come on until 9.45 and I was fed up and also past the eating stage, so had a small sand-which
and then sat on the sofa and with all the fuss I fell asleep sitting there. If it's not one thing it's another. It gave me a sleepless night and as yet I have not got around to writing the note to my daughter.
All take care, like Yogagirl has posted I also cannot fathom
why my adult daughter can at times be so heartless.

Power cuts are a pain aren't they, I'm sorry you had a bad night. Thanks for the info about the exemption, I'll see how I go but it's good to know that could be an avenue to explore if needed.

Do you remember me telling you that one of our dogs was attacked several weeks ago when Mr. S. had taken them for a walk?

Well he's just got back with them and he saw the wife of the farmer whose dog attacked her. She was making a fuss of both of ours and asking if she was OK, then told Mr. S. that there dog had died.

We did wonder at the time if their dog had been unwell as another couple Mr. S. saw after it had happened said they knew the dog and it had always been friendly.

That would explain what happened.