Domestic Violence from kids to parents

So you would consider a toddler hitting their parent during a tantrum domestic violence? No
What about a 7 year old SEN child hitting out at their parent. Is that domestic violence? Possibly, but as I have no experience of that, so it's hard to say.

That ok for you?

Callistemon

^I am curious as to why you are using the term “domestic violence” to describe young children acting out in ways which are developmentally normal.^
Perhaps because that is the title of the thread MrsWarren?

"Domestic Violence from kids to parents"

A child of 9 kicking the legs from under his mother and flooring her, then laughing about it, is rather different from a toddler having a tantrum.

I have not once compared the two.

I am asking at what point does hitting a parent become “domestic violence”.

I assume you think the 9 year old is committing “domestic violence.”

What about the 7 year old?

Most manage just fine. Some do not.
This mother needs help. Those boys obviously have no respect for females.

How many women brought up children singlehandedly during the war and probably afterwards without problems?
What is the difference now?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I think you're nit picking MrsW.

Sorry, I'm not playing games.

Callistemon

Most manage just fine. Some do not.
This mother needs help. Those boys obviously have no respect for females.

How many women brought up children singlehandedly during the war and probably afterwards without problems?
What is the difference now?

Social media, widespread news and awareness perhaps accounts for some of it.

Domestic violence from anyone to anyone is far from new

What is the difference now

The million dollar question Callistemon! That's what I'd like to know and why I asked whether the COVID lockdown has seriously impacted children's social, behavioural and developmental growth.

Callistemon

I think you're nit picking MrsW.

Sorry, I'm not playing games.

I really have no interest in playing games.

I actually had no interest in posting here tonight.

Until I seen the language being used and motives being assigned to minor children.

My mother abused me, her mother and father abused her in different ways, her father had scars from abuse. There I have no more history but the change came with me, not apparently the generations before

A clip round the ear from the friendly local policeman!
But of course not allowed now.

I'd probably leave them at school and fail to pick them up in the afternoon.

Message deleted by Gransnet as it repeats a post which has since been withdrawn. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This is becoming surreal.

Toddlers in our family usually lay on the floor and had a good scream until they were red in the face.

Any older child of normal intelligence hitting his mother and laughing needs to be referred to a psychologist.
They are extremely disturbed.

I went back and checked and you said possibly Chewbacca, no "no" anywhere

I do agree that mum needs serious support and the children need counselling. By her behaviou as described she is too ashamed to get it and I would hope being judged by some out there as a single mum doesn't prevent that

Now I know why I don't normally venture on to the Estrangement threads.

Lavazza I'm not sure why this is under that heading - would you get more response if you asked GNHQ to move it?

Chewbacca

^It is utterly shocking to hear someone say that a toddler hitting their parent (a developmentally^ normal behaviour) is possibly domestic violence Pardon me??

I'm fairly sure that when you asked me So you would consider a toddler hitting their parent during a tantrum domestic violence I replied at 23.40 with the word NO. I've just had another look at my reply, just to make sure and..... yep, there it is.

Just read back your reply and I apologise. I clearly misread it. It was quite difficult for my tired eyes to see.

Good idea Callistemon

Ah I see it now, sandwiched in the quoted text it blended in. My apologies

Starblaze

I went back and checked and you said possibly Chewbacca, no "no" anywhere

Then you're not looking at my post @ 23.40 which said

23.40Chewbacca

"So you would consider a toddler hitting their parent during a tantrum domestic violence? No
What about a 7 year old SEN child hitting out at their parent. Is that domestic violence? Possibly, but as I have no experience of that, so it's hard to say.

That ok for you?"

Cross posts

Already realised and apologised Chewbacca hope you can forgive the error?

HolyHannah

MrsWarren -- It's amazing how some are willing to line up against a minor child who is likely reacting to "something". That's exactly what my 'mom' did to the adults around me. They ALL believed what a horrible/manipulative child I was. If anyone saw "good" or didn't see Me as 'the issue' then they were kept away. The only people that were allowed around Me were other abusers who loved having another Scapegoat around.

People labeling minor children as 'bad' and then acting on that belief is what drives children to suicide. I always look at the 'family unit' before I "buy" one child is causing all the problems in a home because leadership flows down-hill and the parent(s) are the leaders/in charge of the family.

HolyHannah - A child acting out is always reacting to something.

I am concerned about the term “domestic violence” being used to describe minor children’s behaviour.

I am concerned about minor children being labelled as nasty, manipulative etc.

They are children. They only know what they have been taught.

Assigning adult motives to children is wrong.

Starblaze

Already realised and apologised Chewbacca hope you can forgive the error?

Of course, no problem at all.

MrsWarren -- I completely agree. When adults are labeling/blaming children for being/doing children like things it calls into question the mentally being employed by the 'adults' judging that behavior.

As I've said, I have been in the reverse situation and it's soul destroying being blamed by adults when all you want is fairness. How is it "fair" when you are being abused and the adult abuser convinces everyone else you are the problem and when someone doesn't see that "horrible you" then you are told they just aren't seeing you 'right'/you are manipulating them. Even when someone sees your "good" the abuser makes that a negative thing you have done/are.

That 'putting the child in a box' as 'bad'/manipulative etc. is often Scapegoating and it shows how a Scapegoat child can be isolated (even when around other adults) and systematically abused by the whole 'family'/community etc.

Chewbacca, elder abuse in the context of anybody abusing them (including their adult children). The problem is - that anyone over 74 seems to not count!

campaigns.ageuk.org.uk/page/68887/petition/1