Gransnet forums


Grandparent rights

(87 Posts)
Dedee1220 Wed 06-Jan-21 18:39:08

Happy new year everyone
Can anyone tell us please ...Do we have the right to see our grandchildren, whether the parents want us too or not ?

Chewbacca Wed 06-Jan-21 18:40:38


Iam64 Wed 06-Jan-21 18:41:58

No. Grandparents have no rights. Children have rights. If there is a significant, positive relationship in existence and if the adults involved are prepared to work effectively in the best interests of the children, contact between children and their grandparents may be possible.

Hithere Wed 06-Jan-21 19:55:34


Bibbity Wed 06-Jan-21 20:09:00

Absolutely not.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 06-Jan-21 20:12:38


absent Thu 07-Jan-21 00:14:41

No and nor should they.

Smileless2012 Thu 07-Jan-21 09:13:44

No. As Iam has posted children have rights and that is to know their extended family which includes GP's.

Shropshirelass Thu 07-Jan-21 09:21:38

I do not see my grandchildren, in fact I only found out about their existence by chance. I would have loved to get to know them but it will not happen as my son does not return any contact (I left his father due to abuse and he poisoned him against me). I would love to sit down with him to let him know how it was for me and how I would love to know my grandchildren. I will not push this as I do not want to cause any upset or confusion for the children who are now in their early teens. I doubt they even know I exist.

M0nica Thu 07-Jan-21 12:11:28

In complete agreement with Absent

Smileless2012 Thu 07-Jan-21 14:34:12

Our situation is very similar to yours Shropshirelass. Our GC know of our existence as they've asked our DS about us in the past, but they have no memory of us and are unlikely to have.

Even if we'd wanted too, we couldn't have pursued a contact order through the courts as we've never had a constant and meaningful relationship with our GC.

I agree that going to court can create upset and confusion for the children but so can suddenly being unable to see the GP's they've come to know and love.

There are some AC who manage to preserve the relationship their children have with their GP's despite any issues they may have and I take my hat off to them.

Norah Thu 07-Jan-21 15:30:01

No and rights should not go to GP.

Greenfinch Thu 07-Jan-21 16:20:34

I wish my older grandchildren had other grandparents who cared enough to want a relationship.

AGAA4 Thu 07-Jan-21 16:56:50

It is a sad situation that children miss out on knowing their grandparents but grandparents have no rights in law.

EllanVannin Thu 07-Jan-21 17:36:23

My D is a grandparent and was offered 3 of her GC to foster while the children's mother was going through a bad time.

I'm the children's GGP.
It's not the sort of situation where any of us are forbidden to see the children. We're all still involved as a family.

If it's a legal situation then it's up to the courts as to whether contact is allowed.

M0nica Thu 07-Jan-21 22:15:26

On the other hand there was a woman on (I think) Woman's Hour, this week, whose mother told both her and her brother from a young age, that if they had children she would disown them - and when they did have children she did. The Interviewee did not know whether her parents were alive or dead or even where they now lived. It seemed her father was a passive man and just went along with his wife on everything.

MamaBear20 Fri 08-Jan-21 02:08:13

No. If you want a relationship with your grandchildren, work to improve your relationship with your children first.

Armadillo Fri 08-Jan-21 09:41:07

No and I think that if grandparents want the same rights as a parent in regards to their grandchildren they should be paying maintenance.
I like the comment about making a positive relationship with the parents.

Smileless2012 Fri 08-Jan-21 10:08:05

In order for relationships to even work, never mind be positive, all involved need to share the same goal and that isn't always the case.

'There's nout so queer as folk" is there MOnica. What a strange way to behave!!

Bibbity Fri 08-Jan-21 10:10:05

The if the relationship between the parents and grandparents can’t work then there is no relationship between the children and the grandparents.

Smileless2012 Fri 08-Jan-21 11:46:21

Sometimes there is Bibbity, as I posted yesterday there are AC who allow the relationship between their children and the GP's to continue, despite their own issues.

Bibbity Fri 08-Jan-21 12:04:59

If the parents allow. So the relationship is there.

But the decision should always be with the parents. They decide who is around and influencing their children.

Iam64 Fri 08-Jan-21 14:09:35

Armadillo, I haven't seen anyone suggesting grandparents want or should have "the same rights as parents" . As for 'paying maintenance' many grandparents on this kind of discussion talk about continuing to provide regular financial support to their adult children in order to help grandchildren they no longer have direct contact with.

Estrangement is a difficult subject for anyone involved in it. I've not seen any grandparent on this particular thread suggesting grandparents should, or do have rights.

Smileless2012 Fri 08-Jan-21 14:10:37

"So the relationship is there", no not always. A friend of Mr. S's
was estranged by his son. He refused to have anything to do with him but still allowed the relationship between his own son and his father to continue.

An example of an AC putting the welfare of their child above their own grievances and not stopping him from maintaining the close and loving relationship he had with his GF.

Smileless2012 Fri 08-Jan-21 14:16:30

Indeed Iam. Whenever there's this particular subject discussed on GN it is always the rights of the children that are at the fore front as they should be.

Unfortunately some parents put their own grievances above the best interests and rights of their children.