Bless you, that’s awful, but very common in my experience. I personally think talking here can be great therapy, and hope it helps.
I was adopted...so you’d think, not only would I be wanted by my adoptive parents, but they went out of their way to pick me. However, once they adopted my sister, it was quite clear to me, even at 4 years old, they’d made a mistake with me. It was probably personality clashes. I was feisty and outspoken, maybe not the child my mother would have had naturally. My sister was though.
I felt my dad was indifferent....just going along with it to please my mum. They couldn’t have their own children. It was well noted by my friends, and husband, how differently we were treated.
I had brilliant relations with my maternal grandmother though. I loved her dearly. She used to say I was the daughter she never had. I don’t think she and my mum got on that well.
Like Disco says, I’ve made my children/ grandchildren my life, with a few close friends. That works.
Cally....surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. Remember, your parents were the losers here...not you.