My Mother told me I was a "mistake and never wanted " when I was growing up. My older brother and sister were idolised.

missingmarietta I’m sorry to hear your story.
I understand how hard it is to become a part of anything after such rejection.

It is possible to rid yourself of the “Cinderella” complex, if its any consolation the scapegoat child usually develops into a much more rounded person than the golden child.

It’s taken me years to believe in myself and sometimes I can still hear my mothers voice telling me I’m not liked or making a fool of myself. She shattered my confidence and I really felt that I was some kind of second class reject.

I hope you can find a way to become part of something and restore your confidence.

Thank you Sago for your encouragement. Constantly trying to boost my confidence, it's exhausting!
Indeed I feel my experiences have made me more empathetic to others and more determined to show I have succeeded in my own way. I have done a great deal of work on myself, also worked physically hard.
It's made me a more serious, philosophical person [I can be light hearted and can be very funny too though, in the right company]....whereas my siblings have not had true challenges, are dismissive of those with problems and live very much on the surface.
This is not to judge, just to say how different we are due to experiences/personalities etc. Those realities, and the partners they have chosen, makes it impossible to have relationships. Sadly.

My mother said that to me, and I was not bothered , probably because she and my father also did so much to please me. Also becasue I ws more interested in my chums than I was in my parents. It also made sense to me that I was conceived in error as my mother was thirty six and already had sons and a very small house.