Advising to keep sending cards, letters, flowers, etc - it is very dangerous and can backfire big time
As another EAC, this is my experience - every experience is different
I tried talking to my narc parents, compromise, talk to them again, tell them clearly they were overstepping (as they asked me to tell them), time outs, give them another chance, talk again..... wash, rinse and do it all over again for decades - their selective amnesia was the obstacle to address the issues
They have been cut off for a decade +
I received an email from them with yet the same message, a week ago or so.
1. Medical emergency that is life threatening - but they did not want to be dramatic (cry me a river)
2. Because of point 1 above, it was a pity we do not communicate and they do know what happened to break the relationship (yet, our chats for years are forgotten again, what a surprise - not)
3. All their lives, all they did what was best for me (same blah blah blah i heard all my life)
4. They are super proud of me as I achieved everything I wanted in life so easily (rolling my eyes, nothing in my life as been easy, I had to fight hard for it, I earned it! Their statement is in fact an insult and show how out of touch they are/were with me growing up)
5. I owe them one yet last communication to tell them why I dont talk to them (please keep waiting, no reply from me)
So, same old story.
They have learned nothing, same old broken record, same old poor me my daughter is so mean I wasnt perfect and I dont deserve this
This letter achieves the opposite - I will continue to stay away.
I will be called cold hearted, cruel, even mentally unbalanced by some gransnetters.
I only have one life to live and I deserve to be happy.