Smileless I don't know why Yoginimeisje brought you into it. I have always felt you miss your son and that your GC would be a bonus to you. I honestly don't get that feeling from some others, I never said all estranged parents were the same but some of the posts, not just on this thread, do seem like GPs seem so focused on the GC their own children seem overlooked and I think that is sad. As others have said counselling would be beneficial for some.
In the same way some EAC might be unreasonable but there are posts that do show the other side and whether they are right or wrong I don't think it is healthy for children to be in the middle. Someone, sorry can't remember who, said about messages being put in cards that I don't see how the GP concerned could think would be positive.
I can't even begin to imagine how awful it would be to be estranged from one of my children. Sometimes my son who doesn't live near us will say he must come and bring the children as he knows we miss them. I will say it would be lovely to see them but I miss him, after all he was my baby.
I have my GS living with me, he is estranged from his mother because of his relationship with his step father. Hand on heart I can say I do everything I can to encourage his relationship with his mother and his other grandmother. He will live with me until he goes off to uni but I tell him that doesn't, and shouldn't, mean he can't have a relationship with his mother and you know what, it is working. He has met her and he talks to her occasionally on the phone. She has taken my advice to step back, don't push it and let him come to you. I think it was hard for her and it was the closest we have come to falling out but I keep plugging away at it.
I read these threads as I find the comments from EAC help me to work out how to help them through this. I have great faith that in time they will rebuild their relationship and hopefully it will be stronger than ever. Time will tell.