Unable to forgive or forget

Yogin and Smileless ; only pointing out to you that if you have a child and then meet someone and marry them you can apply fort the new husband to be registered on the birth certificate as the father. The new husband has to go through the adoption procedure.
I know it sounds complicated and I did not know that was allowed however I worked with someone and she was saying how her husband had to apply to adopt her son so his name could go on the birth certificate. That was the first time I had ever heard of anything like that.

If the daughter is generally a law abiding person and no issues with the law in the present and past, why would she go through the trouble of getting a fake birth certificate?

It makes no sense

Thanks 3nanny I didn't know that but it does strike me as odd that this allowed as I always thought it was the name of the biological father, entered or not that goes on the birth certificate, and an adoptive parent isn't the birth parent.

why would she go through the trouble of getting a fake birth certificate?

Yogin has said that she didn't say it was fake.

So he may have adopted her? So not fraudulent at all.

And as you have no contact. Not something you can or can not verify.

Maybe be careful about throwing such allegations about as fact.

Smileless2012

A lie then Yogin.

Quite Smiles

As I've already said Bibbity Not fake, but as Smiles has worked out a lie. I was in their lives when I was shown the birth certificate, so know without doubt he did not adopt my GD and it is only the biological father that goes on the birth certificate. I suspect that the father that adopted the child to be put on the birth certificate was the biological father, but for what ever reason was not put on the BC at the child's birth.

Can you imagine how many times a BC would be changed if every stepdad that came along was put on

I would leave it OP ....let sleeping dogs lie

I have been pretty much estranged from my brothers for many years.They had no contact with my mum for many years but recently have got back in touch.After a lot of discussion with my own little family I don’t want to get involved.There has been so much upset and to be honest it scares me to think about being in contact with them.
I am attending a funeral in a couple of weeks and the thought of them being there makes me feel physically sick.I have thought of not attending the funeral but it was someone very dear to me.I keep telling myself this too shall pass.
ttgran, I hope you feel at peace with the decision you have made and wish you strength going forward.

But he's not just her step dad. He has been in her life for a lot longer than most. Even you.

You've said he gave her his name. Raised her. He has been there every day since.
She knows no other father.

Technically he is her step dad Bibbity.

I loved my step dad very much, to me he was my dad despite not coming into my life until my mid twenties but regardless of how much I loved him he was not my father.

"He has been in her life for a lot long than most. Even you." To post "even you" was totally unnecessary. Yogin is no longer in her GD's life because she's been estranged. A little kindness goes along way.

Yogin is correct, an adoptive parent's name does not get entered onto the child's birth certificate. If her GD's step father's or if he'd adopted her, adoptive father's name has been put on the birth certificate, that is a lie.

I hope the funeral isn't too stressful for you Susan. I was worried that our ES would turn up at his paternal GM's funeral. Thankfully he didn't, but I understand that the worry for you only adds to the upset at this difficult time.

Thank you Smileless.x

Yogagirl has a vendetta against this man who just took on a child as his own.

Her daughter is not parading men in and out of her daughters life. She has had 1 Dad who she has ever known.
And the obsession she has had over the fact he is not her flesh and blood while Yogagirl is says a lot more about her than him. So yes the than her was necessary.

When my DH’s brother got in touch it was a disaster, he has only got in touch to get what he could from him, (my DH thought about it for a while but then got in touch!). I put the brakes on it and my BIL hated me for it, he was a vile creature. He has now died but still owes us some money but it could have been worse had I not been on my guard!

Do what is right for you, don’t feel that you have to have contact just because they are ‘family’. They haven’t behaved like family up til now, it is their loss.

You know nothing about Yogin's experiences Bibbity and if you think you do because you've read what she posts here on GN you are seriously deluded.

What we share on this open forum is the tip of the ice berg; Far more is shared in private.

She has never said her ED has paraded "men in and out of her daughter's life" so why include that in your post?

The only person's posts saying a lot more about themselves than the person they're posting about are yours.

Well she has been posting for years and the fact she is a PBP again says a lot.

You have to do what feels right for you.
If it was me I would probably meet him, hear what he has to say. Unless it totally explains in a satisfactory way how he behaved, I would probably say I wish you no ill but I don't really want to keep in touch. You don't want to harbour ill feelings which only cause you harm.
Do what you are comfortable with.

Just to clarify the legal situation, there are two routes whereby a new birth certificate can be issued.

If no father is named in the registration and on the original birth certificate, and the mother then marries the biological father, the birth must be re-registered with his name. If she lives in a relationship with the biological father but does not marry him, they can apply for his name to be added to the registration and apply for a new birth certificate.

As others have said, if the mother marries someone else who is not the biological father, they can apply to adopt the child (and both parents adopt, even the biological mother). When the adoption order is granted, a new adoption birth certificate is issued which replaces the original.

From what the OP has said it seems she was involved in their lives at the time and would have known if this man had been involved in adopting her granddaughter. As she is certain this did not happen it seems more likely that the registration was amended to include the new partner’s name. If he is not the biological father, this was indeed a lie and a false registration. Whatever the motives, it is unfair to a child to register their birth with false information. Hope that helps.

Apologies, it was not the OP who raised this issue, but Yogin. Sorry for distracting from the OP’s issue.

Sounds like you're the one with the vendetta Bibbity and take it from me, it's not a good look.

I have no vendetta. Just replying as I see it.

Smileless2012

Thanks 3nanny I didn't know that but it does strike me as odd that this allowed as I always thought it was the name of the biological father, entered or not that goes on the birth certificate, and an adoptive parent isn't the birth parent.

People who are adopted at birth had the adoptive parents on the birth certificate. It’s what made it so hard for them to trace their genetic history

People who are adopted at birth had the adoptive parents on the birth certificate

Not quite. The original birth certificate will have the name of biological mother and father if known. Date/place of birth etc etc

Then when a baby is adopted the original certificate is still in the records but will be crossed out with a notation at the side saying Adopted.

Then an Adoptive Birth Certificate is issued.

It can be hard to access the original certificate without full knowledge but can be done. It can be issued but is clearly null and void.

For lesbian couples, the non-birthing parent is named on the birth certificate in place of a father, so it’s a little more complicated than just being for the biological father.

That was my understanding Zoejory that the original birth certificate remains as it was.

I didn't know that AmberSpyglass.