Same thing happened with my builder. It was a couple of weeks after everything blew up for me. My builder knows my son and he was just asking after him, as you do. I told him the sorry tale and he told me the saga of his daughter. Same tale of woe.
My builder is a lovely guy, always cheerful, with a ready smile and a cheeky joke but I saw behind the mask that day. He is heartbroken. He told me he never talks about it, not even to his second wife (not his daughters mother). Says he just can't.
So yes, Whiff I think you're right - we Warrior Queens are helping others by being so honest and transparent. It is as if by speaking our truth, it gives others permission to open up. So many people suffer in silence because they feel shame or they fear that they will be (mis)judged.
Onwards you're right on the money........the world needs to know.
In my search, asking Professor Google, reading pretty extensively, it is astonishing how even many therapists and psychologists just don't get it. Many of them imply it's our fault, that we must have caused the problem due to our bad parenting.
Ok I will concede that, in some cases, yes it does happen that way. However, I'm getting just a little tired of being portrayed as a jealous, possessive mother and overbearing MIL.
Like you say Whiff......they were the ones to initiate hostilities. I did not start the war with my DIL, she did.
If I ever have doubted myself at times I only have to listen to so many stories that reflect my own experience to realise that it's not me and I'm not alone.......it seems there are legions of us.