Daughter Detox ~ Recovering from an Unloving Mother

Allsorts

Find it very sad hearing people rehashing their childhood, unless you have a really cruel mother, no one is all bad and they probably did their best, you don’t know what problems they might have had such as depression or anxiety. If you are lucky enough to have a loving partner and your own children, you make sure your energy and love goes into them.

AmberSpyglass, what is nasty and uncalled for behaviour about Allsorts comments?

it is too simplistic if someone has suffered abuse

The body keeps the score, I was trying to read that on my phone and that's why I didn't finish as I kept having to slide the screen about to be able to have print big enough to read.

I've just ordered myself a paper copy

Solves my problem of not knowing what I want for christmas

To be healthier lol

Thank you Violetsky for your knowledge nd words. I would just say I don't consciously pick over it I get horrible flashbacks and nasty dreams but I'm OK on the whole just very sad about it all.

BigBertha I understand, I hope your sadness fades in time.

Iam64

Allsorts

Find it very sad hearing people rehashing their childhood, unless you have a really cruel mother, no one is all bad and they probably did their best, you don’t know what problems they might have had such as depression or anxiety. If you are lucky enough to have a loving partner and your own children, you make sure your energy and love goes into them.

AmberSpyglass, what is nasty and uncalled for behaviour about Allsorts comments?

The fact that on another thread she essentially told VS to stop posting on , and to make her own thread that she wouldn’t comment on as she had no experience. Here she is, commenting and subtly taking a dig.

She’s hounding VS.

It’s had to see on one thread, but easy over a few.

I was under the impression that talking about behaviour or posts from another thread, was against GN guide lines?

I do not see anything that says that it can't be done Namsnanny. Is there another page of guidelines that I am not seeing?

What I looked at: www.gransnet.com/info/netiquette

I do see this: "Similarly, we will delete threads about other ongoing threads, as it causes too much confusion on the forums. " But this thread is not about another thread. It is about a book.

Ok Summerlove - I haven’t seen the thread you refer to. There have been incidents of ‘hounding’ that I am aware of but avoid bringing into current discussions.
I read Allsorts post as a response to this thread only.

I do appreciate that Allsorts did not want to read about abuse and suggested I start a separate thread for those of us who want/need a place to vent. Yes she did say she would not comment on it but that's OK, other perspectives are welcome, I just would hope with understanding that some of us are still in difficult relationships and some of us do have ongoing issues we are working to heal.

I found out last night that my 86 year old father is on his death bed. He's been in hospital for 2 weeks apparently. My twisted sisters as I call them had insisted 2 years or so back on having my email and mobile phone details and that they would let me know if anything happened. They didn't of course. just going through the motions.

My father did some very hurtful things around that time and then lied to me and my husband on several occasions about it. I gave up and stopped contacting. None of them have ever attempted any contact let alone reconciliation.

I'm not sure how I feel right now.

Re

A very difficult time for you Shelbel.

Shelbel, ?

Shelbel that is so hard for you. If your decision was right for you when you made it , then it is still right for you. If you feel you need to change that decision because your father is dying, that is OK too. Take care

Thank you Amber spy glass. ?

Which morphed into accusing someone of 'hounding' because of something that happened on 'another' thread.
If there is a problem surely the person or persons involved should speak to GN about it? Not argue the toss in the middle of a thread about books?
Well, that's mpov. Other pov are available

Shelbel what is a very difficult time for anyone, has added emotional pressure for you.
I too would be conflicted

AllSorts Assume you’re thanking the wrong person, since I definitely haven’t said anything about you that you’d like.

LuckyGirl3 a lot of what you say rings true. It wasn't until I had my own children and made friends with other young mums that I realised not everyone was cross with their children all the time.

I'm the eldest of three and got the blame for everything. There was no affection for us from our parents, they were too wrapped up in each other.

I left home at the earliest opportunity, to start a degree course I had no interest in.
But my school had pushed everyone to apply, there was a grant cheque with my name on it and a place in halls of residence so I grabbed the opportunity and never looked back. My husband was on the same course in similar circumstances, except his parents disliked each other.
We both left after the first year, rented a grotty flat, found jobs and built a life together.

Small problems compared to most people on here though ?

Shelbel it's absolutely fine not to feel anything, just be kind to yourself.

V3ra I was thrown out young because my education was threatening to go well. I ended up finishing it in my 40s. I'm glad you and your husband found each other

Wow, you have to appreciate how speedy deliveries are these days

VioletSky

Wow, you have to appreciate how speedy deliveries are these days

Wow! That is fantastic

I only ordered 1 of them yesterday!

I can honestly say that The Body Keeps the Score changed my life. Let me know how you get on!

AmberSpyglass that one first then, I will