Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Glad all ok now Smileless, I felt tired for ages after Covid thou, hope you don't.
You seem to have benefited from you holiday PP. Good decision about the cards. Put yourself first, they made their decisions.,Some AC get away with anything because,they are unconditionally. Then the penny drops.
Whenever my d birthday comes around I am torn inside remembering the way I loved her at first sight and from then on she was first in my thoughts, now it's as if I'm dead to her, for reasons only she knows.
Well done Whiff, I know a lot depends on the outcome but sure you will be allowed the pip.
To you house hunters, good luck, not grave enough yet myself.

Brave not grave

Smileless2012

Tested negative this morning*Yogin*. Thank goodness.

Yes it is expensive but she's very good and like yours is just a walk down the road, less than 5 minutes away and even quicker on the way back when the dogs can't get home quick enough.

Glad to hear you got your negative Smiles. I laughed about your dogs dashing home afterwards. Mine does the same, and when we go walkies, he loves he walks, but when I say it's time to go home he dashes for the car too, making me do some speed walking

I don't blame you at all Pixie your D is very lucky to get a card from you & your Son, at least he sent a thank you. I wouldn't send a card next year Pixie she doesn't deserve one.
What goes through their heads I wonder? I feel, when they reach our age, they will look back with sorrow at their destruction, where there would have been love and happiness.

Thanks Whiff Well my little Joey has half the run around space now, as I have a fence at the top of my garden and I've put a gate on the bottom by the house, so he can't get through to the next garden any more. As you will know from the other thread we are on, things have got really bad with my upstairs neighbour, I really dislike him now.

Sorry to hear about your brother and sister-in-law. Best of luck with your PIP assessment, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Even though it was a phone assessment it is still tiring on the brain.

Allsorts I felt the same about my estD. Loved her more than anything else in the world [along with my other 2 C] I always acknowledge their birthdays after estrangement, lighting candles, writing cards, that just got posted into my spare room. Now; nothing, I don't acknowledge in anyway, I let the days pass without a mention, and now all these years on, almost 10yrs, not much thought either, which I thought would never happen, bust best way forward.

Yoga, I remember what you did, all those years ago, you went over and above, it is so good that you have moved forward I just wish you had not got that horrid neighbour upstairs. I think if you can, avoid him for as long as possible, so hope that if you give each other a wide berth you can get to love your home despite him, he must be a very unhappy man to be so awful.. So fingers crossed for you. That’s the trouble we all never know what sort of neighbours we can get move next to us, nothing is for ever.
Sorry everyone for the typing errors. It honestly changes as I go along. I am going to leave my posts five minutes before pressing send, then correct and fingers crossed get it right.
Just watched the news and yet another couple appealing against their sentences awarded a couple fir torturing their child to death. Pity they are not in prison until they die doing hard labour.

I have got like my mom when I see anything about people hurting or killing theirs or other babies and children it upsets me. I know some people who would loved to have had children but where unable to have them. If these people don't want their own children there are plenty of people who would. Plus the fact they didn't need to get pregnant in the first place and the morning after pill is freely available. Plus abortion is legal in this country.

I don't understand the mentally of people who like to inflect pain and cruelly to children . My children brought so much love and joy to our family .

Unfortunately what they do as adults is up to them and we have all suffered at the hands of one or more of our adult children. Some of us are lucky enough to have one or more of our children who do still love and care about us. And still get to see our grandchildren.

As awful as my in laws where we would never have kept our children from them. What our estranged children don't realise is the pain they are inflecting on our grandchildren by denying them contact with us. My son's children where to young when they decided I was surplus to requirements so I know they will have forgotten me by now. Makes me wonder though if my grandson's have asked why they only have one nannie and no granddad's !

Just resting this morning as our instructor put us through our paces yesterday and my legs feel it today. So am thinking more. But got my craft group this afternoon. Which is always a joy.

Had a text from DWP yesterday morning saying they had received my report and I will hear in 8 weeks.

Hope all of you who haven't been well feel better now or well on your way to recovery. Hopefully all the movers aren't stressing to much or got to the hair pulling time because everything takes so long.

Take care all.

It's been a strange and unsettling few days hasn't it. Has anyone been watching 'Stranger Things' on Netflix? We're hooked and if you have, maybe like me you feel as if for the last few days you've been living in the 'upside down world'.

No fan of BJ, but I remember how unsettled I felt when he was hospitalised with Covid, and now this latest political drama has unsettled me again.

Maybe it's because the trauma of estrangement damages what we believed were the well constructed and strong foundations of the life we thought we'd built, and that very foundation being damaged leaves us vulnerable in all other areas of our lives.

Yet despite our vulnerabilities, all that we've been through and suffered, we're still here, making the most of our lives and caring for and supporting one another.

We have all grown in strength and courage and these support threads are testament to that fact. It was your post Yogin that got me thinking about this, as I too remember you lighting candles and writing cards, storing them away in your spare room, waiting for the day when you could give them to your D and GC, the day that never came.

I've come to the conclusion that Mr. S. and I have plateaued. It isn't going to get any worse but it isn't going to get any better either. It simply is what it is and maybe this is the best that we could have hoped for.

Smiles......I get what you are saying. Estrangement undermines us so much, destroying our confidence, our equilibrium, our sense of security that it's bound to have a knock on effect into the rest of our lives.

I too share your sense of dismay today......whatever the wrongs and rights of the way Boris has run the government what has happened leaves a very nasty taste in the mouth.

They all knew what he was, they were happy to ride his coat tails and reap the benefits when he was popular in the ratings. They were happy to let him win an election for them, to bask in his glory, and take the positions in cabinet that he bestowed upon them. Then as soon as they spot a chink in his armour and could see his position weakening, they turned on him like a pack of wolves. Classic behaviour from our beloved political leaders. Sadly it's what I've come to expect from politicians, most of them are little better than jackals. Only interested in saving their own skins and feathering their nests.

Speaking of nests......good news my reserved buyers have come up trumps. They have accepted an offer on their property so I'm back in the game. ??.

It was my birthday yesterday. I was spoilt rotten, gotten taken to my favourite restaurant, lavished with gifts and had a lovely time. A little too much Prosecco and Pimms but hey that's what birthdays are for. ??

Pixie. You are doing exactly the right thing now. If your EAC don't appreciate your cards and gifts then stop them. Spend the money on yourself. You are sooooooo worth it!!!!

Draw that red velvet rope around yourself, protect your heart and take care of you.

DerbyshireLass happy birthday for yesterday. ??

Thank you Allsorts Same happens to me, check my post, seems ok, then when posted, up comes all the spelling errors Yes good idea re my neighbour, he has actually done well with clearing his garden, his daughter came round and strimmed it all and took all the garden rubbish bags away. Now he comes down most days and spends half an hour pulling up the rouge grass that comes up through his pathways, he's cleared a good deal of it. Problem is, with all this rain, it's growing back fast again.

I read a quote the other day that went something like this;
Do a couple of jobs asked by your neighbour and he becomes your friend, asked every day and he becomes your enemy!

Smiles

I had a strange thought pop into my head in the shower. It's a Bible quote I did read it once when I was 14. Not sure if the wording is correct. Anyway it's when Jesus was on the cross and he says' forgive them father for they no not what they do'. Or something like that.

And I thought there's no way that could be applied to our adult children as they knew exactly what they where doing when they decide we are surplus to requirements.

I know I am weird but odd things do pop into my mind.

Not only does my brother and sister in law have Covid but her dad has it as well and my daughter's father in law.

Glad I still wear my mask but my luck will run out before long. Just hope it's not next month as I am going to see my brother and sister in law in there new home. It's going to be an adventure as I haven't been to Lincolnshire before. Train ticket and travel assistance all booked.

Smiles you are right estrangement does change you question your role as a parent and grandparent. And even thought I know I didn't cause this I felt guilty for a little while but once I PM you I realised I had nothing to feel guilty about. I have never turned my back on anyone. I am glad it happened since I moved as here people got to know me . I clearly remember the day my neighbour asked how my son was as he hadn't seen his car. So I told him. But didn't feel ashamed or a failure as a mom. I'm fact I felt relieved and telling him made it easier to tell other people . Also found out how many people it's happened to.

Life isn't a straight line and many bumps and obstacles are ahead of us but knowing I am not alone means I can face them head on.

DerbyshireLass glad your reserve buyer accepted an offer on there's have you accepted their offer on yours?

Yogin love the quote and so true.

Take care all.

Whiff - I am the same as odd things do pop into my head most of the time. The bible quote sounds good but I certainly do not think it relates to my eldest two “children”. One of my friends said they will realise when it is too late but I do not think they ever will. The last time my daughters two girls came to stay they thankfully didnt ask, my age, what I am leaving them in my will, how I want my funeral to go etc. I found it so upsetting at the time and said so. Maybe they got the message but I feel that someone is filling their heads with these questions.

When I spoke to my youngest son he announced that he had met someone about 2 months back and they are taking things steady. He didn’t want to tell me any earlier incase it all fell to bits. He did say that he has told them all good things about me. Such a sweet lad. I miss him so much as it is now nearly 3 months since I last saw him. I should be happy as he phones once per week. BUT I got up this morning and wanting to cry my eyes out. I miss him so much.

'Happy Birthday' for yesterday DSL. So pleased you had a great day and that the sale of your house is back on track.

Totally agree with your post about Boris. How many who jumped ship in the last 48 hours, voted in his favour on that confidence vote?.

I don't like to see anyone 'kicking a dog when it's down', even when I don't like the dog.

Seems I'm not alone with strange thoughts popping into my head Whiff, hence yesterday's musing. You're spot on with what Jesus said as he died on the cross. Those that crucified didn't know what they were doing because they couldn't see who he really was.

Our EAC knew exactly what they were doing and continue to do.

Good news that your neighbour is making an effort Yogin. I hope he carries on and your relationship improves. Good neighbours are priceless and we're so lucky to have our girls living next door.

Not sure if I'll watch the tennis this afternoon. Can't stand Novax but want to support our man. Novax wont like the support our last British player still standing is bound to receive.

PP. I had a good cry on Sunday after we'd Facetimed DS in Aus. I miss him so much and don't know when we'll be seeing him again.

DSL A belated birthday wish

Smileless - I do not know how I would cope if my youngest son moved abroad. I am bad enough when he goes away on holiday and I am left wondering what he is doing. He might move abroad in the future and I will have to learn to cope if that time comes. His company does have office all around the world. Sending you love and hugs.

I know that now he has met someone then his spare time will be valuable and he did sound happy but I miss him so much.

I passed my daughters house this morning after doing my shopping and her car was parked in the drive. What goes on in her head I do not know but after 7.5 years I cannot imagine that I take up any time at all.

Big pants back on and going to do a bit of knitting this afternoon.

My first crop of French beans and more courgettes. My first pepper is forming and the butternut squash flowers are starting to open. More flowers on my tomatoes and more fruit appearing. Lots of flowers on my strawberries. And my husband said I had a black thumb. Seems I am a gardner. But can kill a house plant with one look?

A belated Happy Birthday DSL and I'm glad the move is back on track.

Your garden crops are fantastic whiff - we get a bit of fruit but I've never been much good with veg.

Sorry folks, bit of a flying visit. Hit a few snags with the house paperwork and it takes so long to sort these things out. Plus we had a bit of a surprise video call from our daughter and her partner last night - announcing their engagement. It's all go ...
Catch up properly soon. x

hugshelp good news about the engagement. Paperwork when buying and selling is a nightmare especially the selling paper work. I was fortunate my solicitor and the solicitor who dealt with the bungalow where brilliant. But the solicitor the couple who brought my house was a proper jobs worth. The estate agent told this couple not to use her as they knew she caused problems nit picking. But they did. Once we had exchanged they came round with flowers to apologise for the delay I think they thought I would say it was alright but as we had exchanged and locked in . I told them what I thought . Because they didn't listen to the estate agent our move was delayed by 3 months .

The solicitor was so good here she is now my solicitor.

Good luck with the paperwork.

Congratulations on your DD's engagement hugs . Hope you've managed to get your paperwork sorted out and everything's going OK.

Thank you for the love and hugs*PP*. It's very hard. It always would have been of course but having lost his brother certainly makes it even harder.

Oooh aren't you clever Whiff. No black thumb there.

Looking forward to enjoying this lovely weather. Going to friends for a BBQ this evening and having a friend here for one on Sunday. Good forecast for next week too which is always great when we're at the lodge.

Yes I agree Whiff
forgive them father for they no not what they do'. Or something like that.
And I thought there's no way that could be applied to our adult children as they knew exactly what they where doing when they decide we are surplus to requirements.

Big }}Hugs{{{ Pixie so awful what your GD's said, I would be really upset to, but we know it's not them, how wicked if your estD asked them to say those things to you, maximum hurt!

Lovely to hear your DS has a new girlfriend, I'm hoping for the same with my son.

Yes I agree too re Boris, I did like him, he was so ordinary and down to earth and funny, but very well educated & learned. He took on a lot with the pandemic, he looked after everyone with the financial help which got me through, then crucified for party gate, It was he's wife that set that up as a surprise, he just stepped into the room, said thank you & didn't even cut the cake. Yes he was stabbed in the back. The next pm will be worse, If Richi Sunak gets in, what about his wife that withheld millions from the British tax bank!