Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Everything you say is correct Yoga, why would anyone who needed support face this onslaught.
Good luck, hope you will be back or see you on another thread.

I agree Chewbacca that does come across as threatening and appears to suggest that what we are seeing now, and have seen recently is deliberate and orchestrated.

This is an open forum. There never has been and never will be a thread for a particular group of people.

This thread cannot possibly support anyone if there are constant efforts to disrupt it. That said it will carry on regardless.

You're right Iam the estrangement threads can be and often are fraught because of the pain estrangement causes. There's no need to make them even more so with this constant pitting of one 'side' against the other.

There's no need to make them even more so with this constant pitting of one 'side' against the other.

Agreed. And estrangement threads, in particular, are no place for threats; we've all experienced enough of that in our estrangement journeys. This is the 2nd such threat in the last few days.

Sorry I didn't expect any negative feedback from my comment.

It is not a threat no, I simply won't be asking for support, kindness and consideration for everyone who deserves space any more.

I will just give what I can and let others do as suits them.

Going back to your post earlier this morning @ 7.14 DL, as you say for EP's it's having something forced on you over which you have no control.

I understand that for some estrangement is a last resort, not something they would ever have wanted to do but have no choice. But it is their choice. They no longer have contact with the person/people they don't want contact with.

For the EP's sharing here, this is the last thing we'd have ever wanted and the pain of the loss, this living bereavement, is at times unbearable.

As you say Chewbacca we've all experienced enough pain and suffering, and for many of us threats too. There's no place for them anywhere on GN especially on a thread which is here to offer support.

VS

You say that EACs have no safe space here or on any of the threads you have started. I disagree but obviously cannot argue with your perception. That's what your brain is telling you. That's what you believe,

So instead of trying to convince you otherwise I'm going to make a suggestion,

It's a shame you feel you are not being heard. Your frustration is pretty obvious, so why do you persist when you feel you aren't making any progress. It's only feeding your frustration

"If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results".

As it is you seem to be flogging the proverbial dead horse and getting more and more frustrated and upset in the process.

If you feel you are not making any headway here then perhaps it's time for you to change your environment. Our environment isn't just where we live, it's what we surround ourselves with, the books we read, the social media and tv we consume, the people we engage with, the way we dress,.

The quickest, easiest way to transform our health, wealth and emotional well being is to elevate our environment.

Part of that is finding "our tribe", the people, either in RL or on the internet, who share our values, dreams and aspirations.

If you genuinely feel that your voice is not being heard here and that you are not being supported then I think the best thing can do for you is to try somewhere else.

Find "your tribe", somewhere where you feel you belong,

Derbyshirelass

I love gransnet?

Why would I want to go elsewhere?

So many topics and some really amazing and interesting people around

I don't know if you read my comment this morning but I have clearly said I won't be asking for a safe and supportive environment for everyone anymore. I will just do my best to give it to everyone who needs support.

Yes my perceptions are obviously different to yours.

I don't want to argue about that though I have a lot of empathy and respect for you and your situation

VioletSky

Sorry I didn't expect any negative feedback from my comment.

It is not a threat no, I simply won't be asking for support, kindness and consideration for everyone who deserves space any more.

I will just give what I can and let others do as suits them.

VS.

You may not think your remarks are seen as threats but the fact that so many people have interpreted them that way should be a clear signal to you.

Why are you surprised to experience negative feedback when your posts are confrontational.

As has been said none of us has the monopoly on pain.

Everyone on here is suffering from emotional pain. Confrontational, disruptive posts, displaying passive aggressive behaviour and and threatening language help no one, and in fact are driving people away from this thread. People who need support, just as much as you say you do.

You say you will "give what you can". What is that exactly.

I cannot for the life of me see how threats can possibly be of help to anyone or add value to this thread.

Debyshirelass

Would you accept someone telling you something about yourself that isn't true?

Look at the context of my comment.

How could it possibly be a threat to say, I am going to stop asking for something?

What would the negative consequences be?

It's not a logical interpretation.

I'm a genuine person a I don't lie about what I think or mean.

VS. Please don't twist my words. I didnt say you should leave gransnet. I agree there are some really interesting chats on these boards. I too enjoy the chit chat.

However, I do think you are struggling to find what you need. That is why I suggested you have a look around and see what's out there.

I shall say no more on the subject. It was just suggestion designed to offer you an alternative, no more no less,

I genuinely believe of we worked together we could find support for everyone coming to estrangement an not take things personally when others are talking about a situations individual to them.

I genuinely believe that we could keep threads on topic and start new threads for different subjects.

I genuinely believe we could look at both the threads about what different people find invalidating and make an effort to avoid saying those things to each other.

I genuinely think if we trued we could all get along and see that while we still talk about what is painful in estrangement, we are so much more too.

But I will stop asking for that, not because I'm threatening anything, but because no one is listening

VioletSky

Debyshirelass

Would you accept someone telling you something about yourself that isn't true?

Look at the context of my comment.

How could it possibly be a threat to say, I am going to stop asking for something?

What would the negative consequences be?

It's not a logical interpretation.

I'm a genuine person a I don't lie about what I think or mean.

I did look at the context of your comment. And yes it sounded very much like a threat, exactly like the ones so many of us have received, time and time again,

If you cannot see how your comments were perceived as a threat then there is no hope of finding a common ground on which to form a basis for further discussion.

Anyway.....I have things to do.

That's your perception then Derbyshirelass

It's not my reality

I agree with everything you've said DerbyshireLass; This is the last time I will ask doesn't leave any margin for misinterpretation; it's threatening language and, when accompanied by overt and passive aggression, is clearly having the effect (intentional or not) of driving vulnerable people away from seeking the support that this thread has happily provided for over 10 years without any previous problems.

It is an interesting interpretation of someone trying to build bridges and help us understand each other better and find space for each other

I guess I just don't think that way

Thank you AnnieGransnet, hopefully we can get back on track and longstanding posters will feel safe to return now.

Thanks Annie.

I hope that by Reading all the posts over the past few days will give you a clearer picture.

I don’t think posts should be deleted though I have to say.
Let them stand.

Thanks Annie.

Nothing I have said asking for support and kindness towards everyone on this forum is wrong in any way or breaking any guidelines and I haven't made any threats so of course it won't be deleted.

Thank you AnnieGransnet.

I have no doubt we'll get back on track Chewbacca, this thread is too important to too many people to be allowed to go astray.

Chewbacca

I agree with everything you've said DerbyshireLass; This is the last time I will ask doesn't leave any margin for misinterpretation; it's threatening language and, when accompanied by overt and passive aggression, is clearly having the effect (intentional or not) of driving vulnerable people away from seeking the support that this thread has happily provided for over 10 years without any previous problems.

Thanks Chewbacca.

I am so saddened that several people have been driven away from this thread. I hope that they can come back at some point and find the support and friendship that this thread can offer.

It takes a lot of courage to post your pain online.

I do hope this support thread can continue as before.