Actions speak louder than words

When a birthday is the same as someone else's in the family it makes it harder I think Roobs. Our youngest GS who we have never met was born on Mr. S.'s birthday.

That must be a bitter sweet day for our ES.

What a coincidence that we both share that not so common denominator.

It is a coincidence isn't it Roobs. I can't see our ES and his wife being particularly thrilled, especially as our youngest GC was induced, which is why he was born on his grand dad's birthday.

You don't get to choose an induction date

I agree you’re right to step away, let’s just hope he’s the perfect parent !! As most of us learnt by our own mistakes.
My mum used to cry at the breakdown of her relationship with my sister and said “why can’t we be more like the Waltons “ ? (The old tv series) and I used to tell her the Waltons although lovely Weren’t real and NOT many of us love our families all the time no matter what.
Good luck in your emancipation from mum guilt - live long and prosper OP.

OnwardandUpward After many years of being excluded from milestones and nasty messages criticising my parenting, alternated with painful silences, I have decided to match my son's silence and step back from trying.

Well done you. Life is short, live it with people who love you.

Oh yes Tusue 'The Waltons'. When the boys were younger and we were having holidays in our caravan, we would reenact the good night sequence in our own daft way; dad bob, mum bob, ...bob and ..bob. That's as far as any similarity to 'The Waltons' ever got.

You don't get to choose an induction date

Not true! I've just had my third child and was offered any of 3 days in one week. I chose the Friday so's my parents could have the other 2 little ones for me over the weekend.

That was lucky Panko. No doubt if our ES and his wife had had any control over the date our second GC was born, they'd have most certainly avoided the same date as Mr. S'.s birthday.

Panko

^You don't get to choose an induction date^

Not true! I've just had my third child and was offered any of 3 days in one week. I chose the Friday so's my parents could have the other 2 little ones for me over the weekend.

Really?

All 5 of mine induced and no choice at all. Couple of times I got sent home on the day they gave me as they were too busy

Yes, really. Sounds like you were unlucky.

Panko

Yes, really. Sounds like you were unlucky.

I asked my midwife friend, she said it might depend on the area or hospital

Picking up two really wise statements from above...

first, on blame Roobs
"Walking away isn't easy, and that's an understatement. What you could do is send the children cards for their birthdays and at Christmas but desist from requesting face time or actual meet ups. If you don't ask, then the negative drama can at least be avoided."

secondly, on tactics smileless
"Walking away isn't easy, and that's an understatement. What you could do is send the children cards for their birthdays and at Christmas but desist from requesting face time or actual meet ups. If you don't ask, then the negative drama can at least be avoided."

apologies roobs I repeated a quote wrongly, yours was

"Blame the old blame thing. Blame in itself is toxic. Even when my DH and I fall out I try not to apportion blame and try to focus on cause of the fall out.
For the jealous insecure people of this world blame is the only real weapon they have in their toolbox of coping mechanisms so use this to project onto others.
It's pathetic for them and crippling to the one being blamed."

Norah

OnwardandUpward After many years of being excluded from milestones and nasty messages criticising my parenting, alternated with painful silences, I have decided to match my son's silence and step back from trying.

*Well done you. Life is short, live it with people who love you.*

Thanks Norah. It's a month since I gave my son the pleasure of having the last word.
He sent his brother, my youngest, a message to say they are not in the country for Christmas, so not to bother sending a gift. We don't know if it's true or not, but the result is still the same.

Nothing has changed. Except me. I stopped trying to make all the effort. Not sure if I'll ever see them again and hearing he contacted his brother to say that has made me upset. I wasn't really expecting to hear from them, but would have put a gift under the tree for my DC "in case." I had no expectations so I don't know why I'm upset.

Oops I mean I would have put a gift under the tree for my GC not my son!

For all I know they may be still living in the same place, but saying they aren't there anymore. Either way, as my youngest said wisely, the result is the same.

Sounds like he is trying to get your attention. Don't let him play mind games with you.

Plan a lovely holiday

Thanks VS, that was on my mind as a possibility. I asked my youngest if he replied and he said he didn't. So if we give no reaction at all, he will have wasted his time.

He has done this sort of thing before. Let me worry that he was stranded somewhere. We live near them and when we drove past their house we saw him washing up in the kitchen window, grinning to himself!!! (After he KNEW I was worried) As soon as I realised, I took a big step backwards and never told him I knew.