Harry: "I want my Father back. I want my brother back"

IrishDancing

I agree with everything M0nica said but most of all I feel it’s a sad, sad situation for all of them …

🎶..^and its getting more and more absurd^....🎶

My understanding has always been that they were asked if they wanted to walk behind their mother's coffin, and that their GF Prince Phillip said if they wanted too, he'd walk with them. William said he would and Harry agreed once he knew his brother was willing.

Was it the right thing to do to give them the option? With what's now happening to H then perhaps not, but there isn't a parent in the world, never has been and never will be, that didn't make a decision regarding their child, that they later wished they hadn't.

H talks a lot about the understandable trauma of losing his mother and yet, is paid a fortune by Netflix who apparently have a dramatic reconstruction of the accident that she died in, in their next series of the Crown,

I agree Mollygo. He'd be telling the world of being traumatised if he'd not done that walk. As so many EP's can attest too 'you're damned if you do and damned if you don't'.

Yes, you're right Smileless

At age 16 my eldest son (not mentioned before here) insisted on being present when our cat was put down. I regretted it afterwards and realised it had been the wrong thing, but at the time I gave into his insistence. Sometimes we all do things and we can't undo them. We can't pop the kids back into our tummy and try again so they/we all need to make the most of what they/we have got and do our/their best to get the therapy they/we need to be the best we/they can.

To the estranged: There is no other loving family. No one else will love you like your (flawed) parents. Your parents will make mistakes (and so will you) The example you set your kids will be used on you one day. You are showing your kids that you have no resilience or tolerance to navigate difficult relationships well and that instead of dealing with stuff, it's ok to live in avoidance and pain.

We all have pain and things that have happened in childhood that should not (to different degrees of course) but I feel sorry for the kids of H&M because of the example that is being shown them of how you just cut off your family and write about them publically to earn money. Good luck to H&M in future when those kids grow up!!!

Both my children aged 20 and 16 were with me when their dad died. I lay on the bed by his side and the children stood at the bottom of our bed. I had to tell my husband to stop fighting as he couldn't breath on full oxygen and we would be ok. He died a few minutes later. Both my children wanted to be there . And neither of them have every said I was wrong giving them the choice. Even though estranged from my son his choice not mine. He never threw his dad's death back in my face via his email or letter. In fact he never mentioned his dad.

Over the years we talked about their dad but always the funny mad things he did. Never about his cancer and death. They both knew from the ages of 17 and 13 he wouldn't live 5 years.

Thousands of children every year have to face the death of a parent when they are young. But they don't harp on the fact or do the pity me my mommy died that H is doing and making money from it.

He has put the lives at risk of any of the people still in the army when he was in it by his description of his time there . And saying how many people he killed. He should be ashamed of himself.

My dad fought in WW2 he only ever said I did what I was told to do for us to have peace . He hated anyone who revelled in war stories that involved the killing of the enemy. He would only talk about friends he made and funny things that happened. He never told mom what he had to do.

So well said Whiff you've been through so much and you're right.

What some of today's young people (and Harry) are mirroring to their kids by their estrangement is sad. It's not the end of the story because kids grow up and think for themselves. One day they will decide for themselves too- and it may not be pretty. Some things skip a generation. Family patterns. Nature not nurture, sometimes.

Whiff

Both my children aged 20 and 16 were with me when their dad died. I lay on the bed by his side and the children stood at the bottom of our bed. I had to tell my husband to stop fighting as he couldn't breath on full oxygen and we would be ok. He died a few minutes later. Both my children wanted to be there . And neither of them have every said I was wrong giving them the choice. Even though estranged from my son his choice not mine. He never threw his dad's death back in my face via his email or letter. In fact he never mentioned his dad.

Over the years we talked about their dad but always the funny mad things he did. Never about his cancer and death. They both knew from the ages of 17 and 13 he wouldn't live 5 years.

Thousands of children every year have to face the death of a parent when they are young. But they don't harp on the fact or do the pity me my mommy died that H is doing and making money from it.

He has put the lives at risk of any of the people still in the army when he was in it by his description of his time there . And saying how many people he killed. He should be ashamed of himself.

My dad fought in WW2 he only ever said I did what I was told to do for us to have peace . He hated anyone who revelled in war stories that involved the killing of the enemy. He would only talk about friends he made and funny things that happened. He never told mom what he had to do.

With all due respect though Whiff there is a big difference between the age of your children when your husband died, and William and Harry when their mother died. My children were 9 and 16 when their father died, and had hugely different levels of maturity. A 9 year old (or a 12 year old as I think William was) does not have anywhere near the same understanding or ability to deal with things and make decisions as a 16 year old does, and by the age of 20 they are no longer children.

maddyone

^I don’t think any of us can appreciate how difficult it could be to have a family member make money and sell private information…..^

Isn’t that just what Harry’s doing?

Of course it is and that's the point.
Lots of posts saying Charles and William should ignore them and cut contact. But also saying M&H should reconcile with her father. Which seems to me to be contradictory,
Personally I don't care if M&H reconcile, I don't care if C&W cut contact. I don't have a vested interest in any of them. I just find some of the inaccuracies and all the vitriol expressed on these threads unacceptable. And the racism and misogyny directed at M is totally vile, some of it is reminiscent of the accusations hurled at women during witch hunts.

I have not seen any racism or misogyny on these posts, indeed M has barely been mentioned as many of us are simply not that interested in her at all. I think many people are indifferent towards her because she isn't interesting to us in any way.

Harry is obviously our interest, seeing as many of us have become invested in him, seeing him grow up and wanting the best for him.

A 9 year old (or a 12 year old as I think William was) does not have anywhere near the same understanding or ability to deal with things and make decisions as a 16 year old does

Harry was 12 and William was 15 when Diana died.
At least they both had the love of a wider family to comfort them, the Queen in particular providing love and sanctuary at that time, until Blair intervened and cruelly forced them both on to the world stage.

Callistemon21

^A 9 year old (or a 12 year old as I think William was) does not have anywhere near the same understanding or ability to deal with things and make decisions as a 16 year old does^

Harry was 12 and William was 15 when Diana died.
At least they both had the love of a wider family to comfort them, the Queen in particular providing love and sanctuary at that time, until Blair intervened and cruelly forced them both on to the world stage.

So Blair made her do it!
Actually I think he told her the monarchy would be in danger if she didn't come to London, so she chose to go, effectively putting the monarchy before her GS. Is that caring?

So Blair made her do it!

Do you not remember that? 😲

Oh, I forgot, recollections may vary.

Callistemon21

^A 9 year old (or a 12 year old as I think William was) does not have anywhere near the same understanding or ability to deal with things and make decisions as a 16 year old does^

Harry was 12 and William was 15 when Diana died.
At least they both had the love of a wider family to comfort them, the Queen in particular providing love and sanctuary at that time, until Blair intervened and cruelly forced them both on to the world stage.

Sorry, I meant Harry! I think it was a very unwise decision to propose to them, ask them, or whatever happened to walk behind their mother’s coffin, because they would be so exposed to the world’s gaze if they showed emotion, and because they were brought up not to show it in public felt they had to behave in a certain way. I can’t believe Tony Blair did any more than suggest it, the decision would have been made by Charles and the Queen. That is a huge burden to place on a 12 year old, whoever was there to support him, he was still a child - and by the sounds of it already had emotional problems, which the family would have known about. He is the master of his own destiny as an adult, but at 12 he wasn’t.

I think so too. We have all felt concern for 12 year old Harry and his brother too, losing their Mother so young, walking behind her coffin so publicly. We've been invested in their lives, somehow.

This is probably why, as parents we feel frustrated about Harry's misdemeanors , aghast at his blunders and lack of self awareness. Perhaps, suffering such a great loss, he was pampered, overcompensated (read spoiled) and treated differently from William, leading to his feelings of entitlement.

I really think he should be very thankful indeed that he was The Spare.
He is spared the burdens that his brother has to face.

Instead he seems to simmer with resentment.

Hatred is an ugly beast.

www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/hatred#:~:text=Hatred%20and%20Dehumanization,their%20feelings%20through%20violent%20acts.

If this is how people behave towards those who they are invested in, I really hope no one is invested in me in this way.

Meghan Markle kneeled and put her palms on Princess Diana's gravestone to ask her late mother-in-law for 'clarity and guidance' on 20th anniversary of her death, Prince Harry reveals

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Well there’s a drama llama action from an actress. Look at me! I don’t want to curtsey to the living, even if it’s just a mark of respect, but I’ll kneel to the dead.

As someone rightly said, "In Shakespearean times talking to ghosts didn't go down well for the Royals!"

( Prince Hamlet talking to his dead Father)

It was cruel to pressure those kids to walk behind that coffin, while strangers yelled, howled and gawped at them.🙁

Mollygo

Well there’s a drama llama action from an actress. Look at me! I don’t want to curtsey to the living, even if it’s just a mark of respect, but I’ll kneel to the dead.

American citizens (or any foreign citizen), aren't obligated to curtsey to our royals. Harry should have told her that.

Who even kneels on a grave? Is that even proper? I didn't think anyone was to go onto a grave? It doesn't seem normal.