Harry: "I want my Father back. I want my brother back"

Norah

Glorianny

Norah

eazybee

Someone who has known H all his life, no idea who or where, said recently that Meghan was the only person who could ever get Harry to do something he didn't want, I think we can guess how. He was always difficult throughout his life, even before his mother died and certainly afterwards, and his bad behaviour was never his responsibility, as his book is clearly demonstrating.

Implying M wrote the book, not H of his own free will?

Oh dear.

Difficult to know how that would work as the ghost writer's known method is to make hours of recordings of the subject speaking, take them away and write using the actual words on the recording. I mean I know Meghan is an actress but could she actually do Harry's voice?

Precisely what I thought. I assumed Harry was on his own on the writing of his "Truth, with help from the ghost writer.

Difficult to know how that would work as the ghost writer's known method is to make hours of recordings of the subject speaking, take them away and write using the actual words on the recording

These are the recordings of a troubled young man with many, as we now term them, issues.

His parents' unhappy marriage, father's other woman, mother living quite a rackety life, his mother's shocking death, knowing his brother is heir (that should have brought relief, not jealousy, surely?), the wrong kind of friends introducing him to drugs, the Army and possible PTSD, seeing his brother married with a family whereas his girlfriends shied away at the point of true commitment - what a lot he has had to cope with.

All this should have been talked through with a psychiatrist or psychologist, not dictated to a ghost writer for a series of books.

Difficult to know how that would work as the ghost writer's known method is to make hours of recordings of the subject speaking, take them away and write using the actual words on the recording. I mean I know Meghan is an actress but could she actually do Harry's voice?
I have been particularly interested in the language coming out of the book, and said on another thread that what we are hearing has come from a ghost writer, followed by 2 translations, so there may be a few misnomers.
I am convinced that some of the extracts about Meghan's and Catherine's "girlie" relationship for example were provided by Meghan herself, "baby brain" and something about the lip gloss incident springs to mind.

JaneJudge

If I am going to be sympathetic, I think becoming a parent yourself does bring into focus how difficult it is to understand why a parent can't unconditionally love their children (my case not everyone's)

The only unconditional love I've ever had was from my Grandma...and my dog.

I have a good marriage, but i wouldnt want to test it enough to know for sure if it was unconditional. I have a good relationship with my youngest, but same, I wouldnt want to put it to the test.

I have loved my kids unconditionally, way past the point at which abuse was occuring to me, as I already mentioned.

I do believe in unconditional love and i would have liked to have it from my parents but it was very conditional. I don't know why some parents cannot love unconditionally. Perhaps they are hard on themselves too?

If Harry really wants his father and brother back I would respectfully suggest that he’s not going the right way about it.

I think unconditional love is often misconstrued. It means that no matter what someone does or says, that your love for them never dies.

It doesn't mean that you have to put up with abuse in any of its forms. It doesn't mean that you have to want to have a relationship with them anymore.

It means that you until your dying day you love them.

👏👏👏👏 Smileless2012 beautifully and accurately said! My love for my father was unconditional, I loved him to his dying day, but I didn't like many of his attitudes, found his treatment of my dying mother hurtful, but could never have abandoned him, or cast him aside, he was my dad, love was unconditional!

I have been abandoned by a parent, which is why I didn't include them as having loved me unconditionally. I have loved them unconditionally and have all my life felt like I was the caretaker of them.

I do have that from my husband. I am fortunate in that way. Thanks for redefining it Smileless. My Grandma was the best though.

Why does everyone seem to think Harry came into the world only as a ‘spare’ to William, in case something happened to him?

Surely both Diana and Charles wanted another child, just because after having one baby, having a brother or sister for that baby enhances the family? If things had been better between them, perhaps C&D would have gone on to have more children, as both of them grew up with more siblings.

"Surely both Diana and Charles wanted another child, just because after having one baby, having a brother or sister for that baby enhances the family?"

Possibly pressure on Diana (and Charles) by Establishment for who knows the true state of their "love" even by that time?

Why does everyone seem to think Harry came into the world only as a ‘spare’ to William, in case something happened to him?

I don't think "everyone" thinks that, only Harry because it fits his victim mentality.

That may be because in some ways he is a victim of en establishment system as well as a scarred childhood.

That doesn't mean to say he has gone the best way of tackling the issues to hand, he hasn't.

I find it hard to feel sorry for the man. He makes me cringe every time he appears with his nonsense. Now he has put others at risk which is unforgivable and for what gain ?

harry says in book;
Harry then thought back on a time when he was told a story about a “joke” Charles, 74, “allegedly” said to Diana the day he was born. “‘Wonderful! Now you’ve given me an heir and a spare — my work is done,'” Harry wrote, sharing what was claimed to be said by the king to Diana. “On the other hand, minutes after delivering this bit of high comedy, Pa was said to have gone off to meet with his girlfriend,” Harry said of Queen Consort Camilla. “So, many a true word spoken in jest.”

How did Harry know that Charles immediately went off to meet Camilla? Answer: he doesn’t!

Was Harry told this ? In the Morton Book Diana claimed Charles said ‘another boy and he has red hair’.

I thought Charles would have known the sex before birth.

Calendargirl

Why does everyone seem to think Harry came into the world only as a ‘spare’ to William, in case something happened to him?

Surely both Diana and Charles wanted another child, just because after having one baby, having a brother or sister for that baby enhances the family? If things had been better between them, perhaps C&D would have gone on to have more children, as both of them grew up with more siblings.

I read somewhere many years ago (it may not be true, of course!) that Diana always wanted a daughter so, had their marriage worked out better or she had she remarried, she might well have gone on to have more children.

14:22VioletSky

If I had been trashed all over the press, in often racially loaded ways and my own father and brother stood back and said nothing...

I'd be wanting my father and brother back too, in the roles they should have inhabited from the beginning.

This is what happens when you have a an image motivated family invested in rug sweeping and you try to tell the truth because your childhood and your own family have harmed you.

Only in this case, it has played out in the public eye and quite a lot of the public are just as invested in the image of the royal family as the royal family themselves

Sound post VioletSky

Has H been trashed all over the press, in often racially loaded ways?

He's certainly faced a lot of criticism since the Oprah interview, and not surprisingly even more since the contents of his memoirs have been known, but that's been to a large degree self inflicted.

So how does it benefit him to trash his father and brother all over the press, television and social media?

Firstly I don't agree that Harry has thrashed his father or his brother.
Hes told what he believes to be a few home truths.
Many on here have said that Charles and William are not in a position to respond to what Harry is saying.
Of course they are too high and mighty to publicly respond.
Neither do they need to respond as they have armies of people in their employ to do that for them.
Indeed it is the original public thrashing of Harry and Megan by these same armies that is the reason for Harry and Megan's public statements defending themselves.

This thrashing was publicly allowed and privately endorsed by the Royal family to take the public eye off the real job in hand - laundering of Camilla.


Harry has stated that he tried unsuccessfully on many occasions to have private discussions with his Father and his brother .
Charles and William's first care is to maintain the status of the royal family.

Harry's is his own mental health.

Never the twain shall meet.

He has every right and responsibility both to himself nd his young family to defend himself.
If in doing so some distasteful stories emerge about the royal family why would anyone be surprised.

We may all be opining on a family most of us have never met and don't personally know however they are the most famous family in the world and have been the backdrop to all our lives.

All of us are entitled to our opinions and we will agree or disagree with the opinions of others.
We all also have the propensity to pick and choose the information we deem most likely to be true.
Often this is based on whether we?are royalist or republican.
But I believe we all know that this family is outmoded, entitled, and that living and or being reared within it's traditions and confines is dreadfully unhealthy to the psyche.

As an ordinary individual lucky enough to be both a mother and a grandmother I have to support Harrys quest for the stability and inner peace that are every individual's birthright however flawed his methods may appear.

It's no wonder "The Firm" is it

Very skilled at manipulating the public through that easy public manipulator... the press

^Harry's is his own mental

He has every right and responsibility both to himself nd his young family to defend himself.

Unfortunately, the outcome may not be what he hoped for.

Even those who are not particularly monarchists can see that he needs help and this could have the opposite effect to gaining public sympathy.

Stories about losing his virginity, a frost-bitten penis etc have caused hilarity on social media.
Stories about his "kills" in battle have caused consternation.

He has been ill-advised.

I don't think there's anyone who doesn't support H's quest for stability and inner peace, but is this really the way to find it? Would a reputable therapist advise that airing one's 'dirty linen in public' will bring either, let alone both?

I don't agree that neither Charles or William responding is because they're too high and mighty to publicly respond. Too dignified perhaps and also intelligent enough to understand that feeding this particular fire will benefit no one, particularly H.

The problem for his family is that they have no way on knowing if private conversations will remain private, they haven't so far have they. We only have H's word that these conversations have been requested and denied and I'm sorry to say that for me, his word doesn't carry much weight.

If a father devotes his life to his business at the expense of his child nobody can be surprised if that father -son relationship is poor.
Neither should we be surprised at the poor performance of said son.
I'm sure Harry believes he is doing the best he can to improve himself.
I believe as human beings if we cannot find it within ourselves to support him in his efforts at least we might refrain from alienating him.
I don't know why royalists should dismiss Harry while at the same time calling him damaged, psychiatric challenged - do those conditions not call for an increase of care and support?
I am absolutely gobsmacked that people are so quick to criticise Harry while at the same time continue to say of Andrew ' innocent until proven guilty' in the full knowledge that the wealth and power of the royal family will never allow him to be tried.
So we will never know.
But there's a knowledge not gleaned from books or powerful statements.
It's the knowledge of responsibly informed life experience.
We can choose to acknowledge that.
Or not.

If a father devotes his life to his business at the expense of his child nobody can be surprised if that father -son relationship is poor

Lots of fathers have to work away, perhaps overseas, but still manage to forge good relationships with their children.

Some fathers are at home all the time and have dreadful relationships with their children.

It's a non-sequitur.