Worn out with it all.

So sorry to read of your husband’s death DiamondLily. Sincere condolences. You’ll need all your energy, resilience and strength in dealing with the admin and funeral planning. Try not to waste any on ruminating about your husbands thankless family.

So sorry for your loss, DiamondLily, and I'm filled with admiration at how you're handling this. As regards your SS, I find it massively hypocritical that he even dares to attend given his foul behaviour. You've made your position clear, so ignore those who you neither want nor need in your life, and focus on those who are supporting you. P.S. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when the terms of the will become public. Poetic justice..

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. These times are never easy. Please be kind to yourself first and foremost. Do and act as you feel appropriate as in line with what your late husband would have wished. This is about you, him and then your supportive children. My father had a very difficult and bossy family with no sense of decorum. I had one particularly narcissistic cousin and aunt who would have upset events. I arranged for them to sit at the back of the church and they were not invited to the afternoon tea that followed which was invitation only at a local hotel. Please do not let selfish family members ruin the one occasion you get to say good bye to your darling husband. The minute my father was dead his horrible nephew and niece wanted me to provide accommodation for them in his now empty house. It was a categorical 'No' from me in both instances. Stay strong on the outside, and be kind to yourself privately. I did find that my father's death attracted people who thought they were doing good by interfering and in reality they were being invasive. Ignoring them was the best thing I did as it gave me time to grieve and find my own peace.

Diamond Lil. 💐 I can only agree with the comments already made. You have done everything possible, you were there for your DH, you cannot be responsible others disgusting behaviour. His could anyone send an emoji, Just for now lean on the people that do care, let the others go, you are not going to turn into a needy old lady, just the opposite. I can remember how I felt when my husband died, no one can imagine the devastation. You have the funeral, lots to do that will pass in a haze, but you will cope. All on here is a listening ear.

It’s such a difficult time for you after the sad loss of beloved DH. I agree with the comment that it’s astonishing how badly some people respond when someone dies.
You are understandably hurt and in a vulnerable situation at the moment. But my only suggestion is, focus on coping and taking care of yourself, and focus on the support you do have, from your daughter, friends, and from eldest SS and wife ( message about you giving DH happiest years etc) and eldest GS.
Don’t let the pains of grief and other bits of poor behaviour wipe this out. Proceed gently and don’t get pushed into arguments or fallouts, none of that will help in the long run.

Thank you for your comments. I'm trying to just concentrate on his funeral happening without any sort of dust up with anyone.

My three English adult grandsons did make me smile with their promise to stand by my side and "God help anyone that opens their mouth to you"....not sure that's the answer.

Still, it was well meant...😗

I hope the funeral planning and the funeral go as smoothly as possible. I found it helpful, if at times stressful, to have a focus of waiting to honour him. Our daughters felt the same and we did a lot together. A healing journey

No real advice DiamondLily but I could not pass this thread by without saying I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved DH, thank goodness for your children supporting you, and I am sending you virtual strength to get through the funeral and the next few weeks. 💐

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this on top of your own grief, DiamondLily. 💐