Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

@sparkly gran if you find a book on estrangement worth reading please let me know, never read anything written about it because living with it filled most of my head space but moving forwards would like to read a book on it 🌹

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorry wrong thread was posting on news and politics have asked for it to be removed.
A senior moment.
🫣

'Happy Birthday' to your DS Yogin and wishing him all the best in his new job.

Well contracts have been exchanged. Mr. S. punched the air and I cried!!! No idea why but probably a release of tension and a wave of relief after so much hard work but it's probably down to me having a senior moment, so it's not just you Babs .

Oh congrats to both of you Smiles!!
🎉🎉
A long time coming!!
I think I would have cried too, moving is just so emotional and stressful.
Now you can get on with your new life in your new home and put all the hoohah behind you.
😄

You can relax now Smileless and enjoy your new home 💐

Well done Smiles I’d have punched the air too.

Babs03 I will of course let you know the name of the estrangement book, when I find a positive one.

Gritting teeth for Budget tomorrow 😬

Whiff, every health problem thrown at you somehow you work round it. I do hope this new difficulty with your leg not behaving is temporary.
Yoga, How awful for your friend having her new hip pop out like that, if it happens again the surgeon needs to look at his handy work. Your neighbour is not the type to play ball, as soon as there is a space cant you get someone to park in it for you and for a time make it impossible for him to park.
Smileless so glad your buying and selling is sorted now for you, it seems such a nightmare in this country.
Sparkly, I have read a lot of books on estrangement, most of them American, I can’t say any one book ever helped. I instead looked at the phycology of it, what makes people react in a certain way, I tried to see thing's from her perspective which I found difficult, The Little Buddha helped but I'm not a Buddhist. I finally came to the realisation that I had paid enough in suffering for any past mistake I might of made, that I can’t get inside her head and change what she thinks, so let her go whilst still loving her. I will always have moments when I wish things were different but for the majority of time I’m happy. I had to forgive myself in order to move forward. We feel guilt, shame and desperation and fear initially, all this is normal as how can we understand something so awful, it takes time.

Thank you Babs My son got in at 5pm, so plenty of time to have dinner and shower before leaving for the theatre. We had a great time, the show was so good, bought the programme at £12 & the CD, which the musicians all signed To D So the evening was a great success, when earlier I thought I had made a big mistake and that we may not even go.

Congratulations Smiles & Mr.S such a relief for you

Thanks for good wishes for my son too. The new job is hard work. Unfortunately, it's quite a journey to get there at the moment. He finished yesterday at 3.30pm but didn't get home till after 5pm! This should only be for about 2 weeks, till he is totally confident in what he is doing, then he will be the first to start work at the new place, which is just 45mins away.

Just got a big banner come up on my screen saying; sorry our screen didn't load; refresh, so I can't see what I'm typing and I don't want to press anything incase it's a scam

Just read your news Smiles brilliant so glad for you and Mr S . Did he do 🤸🤸🤸 round the lodge . But the dogs thought what was going on . 🍾🥂. Completion is such a relief and and end to an era . But your new home is where you are happiest and many happy memories to make . Better read back a page .

Bridie checked my Christmas presents only chocolate to get for my daughter and son in law but on order to come with my shopping next week . Just have to check if I have any wrapping paper in.

Yogin glad your friend is home . And hopefully no more popping . Hope you son had a wonderful birthday and enjoyed the theatre. Is he still driving HGV's?

I think that young couple with soon size up to dick heads antics . As he is so blatantly doing it on purpose.

Babs hope the hospital appointment went well for your husband .

SparklyGrandma, Smiles and Yogin recommended a book it very good and helped me . Will post this and find it out and give you the title etc .

SparklyGrandma the books called Abandoned parents The devils dilemma by Sharon A Wildey £15.82 from Amazon . She is estranged from her children . Easy book to read she's American and they call it elder abuse . But it helped me . Written in plain English no waffle .

Babs the book is a good read and she talked to other estranged parents . Highly recommend it.

Allsorts my dad always said there's no such thing as can't when I said can not he used give me a look. I was very lucky having the parents I did and extended family. Plus marrying a man that nothing ever phased him . Our family just got on with things . Nothing was an obstacle you just had to find a way to do things your way. It how I still live my life. As I get older my body is going to cause me more problems but at least I know why and have a great support group of others going through the same thing ..

You have your own health problems but you keep going as well . And just adapt to what you can do but your way .

We have one life and no matter what life throws at us we just get on with it ..But I do believe in quality of life over quantity. Moving for me gave me a new life and live to to the full I no longer just exist as I did in my old house .

Yogin glad your sons journey time will soon be cut . As driving in the winter months is no fun.

Think that me all caught up with everyone.

I'm back [Grin] thought I was going to have to buy a new lap top, as after turning completely off, to get rid of that scam, it just wouldn't turn back on again, alls well now .

Sparkly I read a lot of those books on estrangement at the beginning, I know Smiles did too. You get to the point where you can't read anymore. I did get 2 books, I believe based on real life.

One was called 'Twilight child' in it the granddad, after being estranged from his grandson to whom he was very close, made him a wooden red engine, he took it to the little boys school and couldn't understand the fuss and he wasn't allowed to give it. He went home and sat in his workshop with a rifle! I'll say no more incase you get it to read.

The other one was called 'Lotties's garden' where a grandmother was reunited with her granddaughter and how they became super close, the GD moved in with her GM, but extremely sad ending!

I still have the books somewhere, can't find them now, so hope I've given the correct book titles.

Thank you Whiff My son is doing crane driving now, think it's the big ship containers his lifting off the ships.

You have a good philosophy on life Whiff.

Morning all,
Thanks for book reco Whiff, haven’t done any reading about estrangement and am not doing it in order to cope with our estrangement have come to accept what we cannot change. Your attitude and the attitude of your loved ones over the years can only have made you stronger in order to cope with your disability and estrangement, your much missed DH left you a parting gift of his own strength and courage, and that is a real gift for life.
Sparkly if you find any other books let me know will start with Whiffs reco. Am just curious to find out more about this subject that affects parents/grandparents, and grandchildren. Despite coming to terms with it it still mystifies me.
@yogi so glad your sons birthday was a big hit 🎉
@allsorts you are right no amount of reading can fix anything that our ACs don’t want fixed, and understanding it could drive us mad,we have reached the same place as you and many others on here. Not giving up but giving in to the inevitable and getting on with life. As our ACs have undoubtedly been doing for many years.
Hope you and Mr S celebrated last night Smiles. Hope you had a drink or three 🎉

Just saw your recommended books Yogi, will look those up as well.
🙏🏾

Thank you Yogi and Whiff* for the book recommendations- off to a****n >>>>>! .

Had flu jab on Monday, bit fluey but listening to the Budget.

Allsorts “ Your words are a positive way forward;

I finally came to the realisation that I had paid enough in suffering for any past mistake I might of made, that I can’t get inside her head and change what she thinks, so let her go whilst still loving her. “

sparkly ☕️

Sparkly, concentrate on you now. Do things that give you enjoyment. A lot of women become people pleasers pushing their own wants into the background, we want everyone happy but it’s at a cost.

Good morning all,
Halloween already!!
The older GCs are dressed up for fun activities at nursery. Not into the OTT decoration of the outside of people’s houses though, it goes too far, have seen body bags hanging outside people’s doors with chains.
Must be getting old and grumpy.
Have a good day today estrangees 🎃🎃

Thanks Babs it was a great night. Poor son left work at 3.30pm yesterday and didn't get in till 7pm! He has to go on the M25. Good job it is only for about 2 weeks, otherwise he wouldn't be able to continue with it. He left at 04.47 this morning. Yesterday morning he went over the Dartford QE2 bridge at 06.01am which meant he missed the free passing by 1 minute! Just to add salt into the wound

Those books I recommended are novels but based on true stories.

Babs they had those body bags hanging up in a children's soft play area, the mum's asked for them to be taken down, quite right too.

Yoginimeisje

Babs they had those body bags hanging up in a children's soft play area, the mum's asked for them to be taken down, quite right too.

😮