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Estrangement

Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

(1001 Posts)

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Smileless2012 Tue 08-Oct-24 11:21:15

Our current thread is about to reach 1000 posts so for all the regulars keep on posting and for anyone who hasn't joined us yet, a warm welcome awaits.

Yoginimeisje Sat 09-Nov-24 09:02:12

Smiles how was your new car on driving for the first time, that's always nerve racking!

Babs afternoon Tea is always a treat, glad to hear you enjoyed yours.

Whiff me too re dentist, I have had a few private consultations in the years after Covin, but nothing else. You are quick on sorting out everything for Xmas. I always waited till first week in December owing to my now estD having her birthday last week in Nov; I wanted that all done & dusted before thinking about Xmas, I do now start buying around this time of year now.

I've had an invite to an Xmas party with one of my Leisure centres I teach at. I must go as usually us freelancers are never given an invite, I can only remember a couple of times over the last 23yrs and they always fell on a day I was teaching, so didn't go, glad I didn't too, as heard it was a bit 'hi-ginks'. It was held in a nightclub and most of the guest were in their late 20s early 30s. I'm sure I'm the oldest one. This year it is held in the club, so everyone will have to be on their best behavior grin

So many fallen leaves in my garden, I watched 'Gardeners World last night and he said it's OK to leave the leaves hmm as it's a mulch for the plants over winter time and also somewhere for little animals to bed down. I've already built 2 big hills of them; I also made a small garden pond I'm pleased with.

Enjoy your afternoon with your GS Whiff

Babs03 Sat 09-Nov-24 11:51:36

Good work with the leaves Yogi, my DH puts them onto the beds for mulch, he turns them over every so often then tamps them down. Saves having to clear them all up and bag them as well.

Babs03 Sun 10-Nov-24 19:10:04

Hope all estrangees are ok and had a good weekend. We went to celebrate one of our daughters birthdays in London today, the GCs were on form and wouldn’t let us sit still for long. Are both shattered now and probs getting an early night.
DH has a shoulder impingement so is clutching a bag of frozen peas to his shoulder as I write this, will follow this up with a heat patch. The physio has given exercises but think will give him a day off and start again tomorrow.
Take care ❤️🌹

Whiff Mon 11-Nov-24 06:55:26

Yogin glad you can go to the Christmas party this year you will have fun . Best behaviour 🤔 I think it will be high jinks especially if there is wine and party games . But you will enjoy yourself. It's nice to mix with all ages . Plus some young are very old in their ways and vise versa.

Looking forward to the Brain Charity event . I don't drink but will enjoy the nibbles . The following week the craft group starts again at least the building will be water tight and will save on heating costs . Have brought a cheap apron from eBay as we will be using glitter a pet hate but will see what we use it for .

Babs glad you had a lovely day and hope your husband's shoulder feels better.

My grandson iced the biscuits and said they had poo on them . Had him washed but still naked when his mom and brother came . Why do little boys love running around naked😂. His brother had his beavers uniform on so told me what the badges where for . At lot different to when my husband and brother where in the scouts . Neither was a cub and no beavers or squirrels in those days . My husband went on to be a cub leader then scout and finally a venture leader. We had been married 6 months and he went away with the ventures when he came back he said he had resigned as his priorities had changed and missed me to much .

Can't remember if I said I have the podiatrist coming on Friday finally had to admit defeat our my feet. Stopped using clippers couple of years ago as I cut my skin and being on blood thinners bled a lot . Been managing with scholl battery hard skin remover and nail file . Problem is I hate anyone touching my feet hated it when my husband had to help when I couldn't do it . But needs must.

Hope you are enjoying your new car Smiles and having fun with your friends.

See the imposters posters are back on the other thread . They love messing with your name Smiles and that of Allsorts. They must have very sad live's and to much time on their hands . At least GN deleted lot of posts. That's the problem when anyone posts a link to a newspaper article. But these reporters get paid a lot of money writing controversial topics . I don't bother reading as it's never even handed.

Tea towel day at sir fit today . So know my arms will ache afterwards but the exercises are fun . And will have my wrist supports on as they are giving me gip at the moment.

Have a good day everyone.

Babs03 Mon 11-Nov-24 09:17:01

@Whiff so funny thinking of your little grandson running around naked after covering himself in icing 😂
They do like to strip off I know. Good job we grow out of it 🫣
Sounds like a fantastic time was had though and the biscuits look zany with all that colour. Bet they taste good though.
As for imposters, yes, one just posted a new thread right now which I reported and has been taken down. They must be very sad individuals to get their kicks out of this kind of behaviour. 😳

Yoginimeisje Mon 11-Nov-24 10:43:17

Good advice from your H Babs I'll do the same then.

Whiff biscuits look good. When my GD's bake and bring one over for me to eat, they are always multicoloured and you have to save Ooh, lovely then force a smile whilst eating, saying; yum,yum grin

Allsorts Mon 11-Nov-24 18:47:01

I can’t believe the foul mouthed rants of those that come on here to disrupt and hurt others. They must be very damaged people and platforms that spur them on should be ashamed.

Babs03 Mon 11-Nov-24 18:59:09

I agree Allsorts, the language is offensive, and the accusations are twisted and sick. The fact that we don't rise to the bait and answer in a similar vein must really get them riled.
Take care.
xx

Smileless2012 Tue 12-Nov-24 09:28:06

Morning everyone.

Busy couple of days with my dearest friend and another two to go before she goes home.

Well driving my new car for the first time was great Yogin until it came to parking. The brake is very sharp so I ended up stopping and starting as I pulled in blush. Something I'm going to need to practice.

The biscuits look great Whiff and it sounds as if you had a mad and exciting day with your little GS smile.

I'm pretty certain that all of this nastiness is due to an imposter singular, rather imposters plural but whoever s/he is or they are, I agree Allsorts that they may be very damaged people or perhaps are simply nasty.

Politely treating them with the contempt they deserve is the way to go Babs.

Take care everyone and stay strong flowers xx

Babs03 Tue 12-Nov-24 10:01:49

Enjoy your time with your friend Smileless the weather here is chilly but sunny so am hoping is the same for you.
And yes I do suspect could be one imposter with a couple of Reddit trolls in tow.
Take care
🌹

Whiff Tue 12-Nov-24 10:38:59

The latest horrible thread has deleted it . But no doubt someone will pop up again spreading their vile comments and their own agenda.

Glad you are enjoying your new car Smiles better to have a sharp brake than a loose one . Bet your friend loves your new home . And you are having fun.

Allsorts some people get pleasure hurting others . While technology is brilliant it can give the worst sort a platform for their viciousness. But there are to many good, kind hearted people on GN so they will never win . Estrangement is an easy target as it had been to long a taboo subject. Thankfully they have left the vulnerable forums alone .

Had a message to book an appointment to see my GP about my bone scan. So seeing her on the 25th..But I have the NHS on my phone so know the results I have Osteopenia. As usual researched through proper sites not Dr Google . Said to do load bearing exercises so asked my sit fit instructor about them . She also has the same condition. So included extra exercises into my daily routine using my ankle weights and dumbbells. They are only 500g each in weight as I can't use the 1kg weights . But at least they give me a workout . No medication needed and I have been taking a combined calcium, vit D and vit K tablet since I was 50 when I had my first mammogram and the radiographer told me to take them. Plus my neurologist is referring for physio because my left leg doesn't always want to move unless I flick it forward. And my foot turns in sometimes but it pulls my hip.when it does that which annoys me . But like my daughter says you can do more now than you did years ago.. Moving completely changed my life for the better.

Babs chilly here but sunny . Better than the last 2 weeks as the cloud didn't lift and we had some rain .

Have a good day everyone whatever you are up to..

Babs03 Tue 12-Nov-24 11:07:03

@Whiff good luck with your ongoing health issues, I know you will probs say you are used to it but must get wearying.
I reported the rogue thread twice and it finally got taken off, I think the imposter knows that if they post late at night it won’t be taken down till morning giving them a window of opportunity.
As my mum used to say - hatred is like drinking too much booze it ends up making a person a raving idiot.

SparklyGrandma Tue 12-Nov-24 15:06:12

Afternoon everyone. I’ve again missed the nasty imposter posters. I’m glad.
Whiff Little boys love running around, free and undressed! Mine used to love shock visitors aged about 3-4. Giggling,in innocence.

Babs03. very good words of your DM; ‘As my mum used to say - hatred is like drinking too much booze it ends up making a person a raving idiot.’

How lovely to have a friend staying Smileless. Treasure the long chats with a like minded friend.

Yogi I saw Monty Don too and have been learning about mulch as I’ve never used, leaves or not. I’m planning what to grow next year, on my little patch. It keeps me occupied during the dark long winters of 6 months here in Wales. What do you grow or have growing?
I’m paying a proper gardener this month to do some serious garden flower beds, a raspberry patch, plant a small feature tree and other stuff.
One of my consolations as an estrangee is to sit among my flowers, on my deck share, contemplating the beauty and colours of the flowers.
Have a nice evening ladies…

Yoginimeisje Wed 13-Nov-24 08:38:46

Smiles it does take a while to get used to a new car. Nice to hear you are having a good time with your friend's stay with you.

Sparkly Since I've been here, I've put I hundreds of different plants in, as there was no plants at all when I moved in. Some do well others don't sad. I bought with me a Smokebush plant, in a big pot and just placed it on the soil. The roots have gone through the bottom of the pot into the soil, I want to take it out of the pot and put it direct into the ground but the roots seem so well established I fear I may kill it if I just pulled it up. Has anyone any tips on this please.

I've booked a hall for my big birthday coming up in February as couldn't accomadate everyone in my small flat. I always hold parties at home, much prefere that to hiring somewhere, but no choice this time. So that will be on the Sunday [ you are all invited], so my actual birthday on the Tuesday I'll be left doing nothing, so just decided to book myself into a very posh spa nearby and have a paper day all to myself grin

Yoginimeisje Wed 13-Nov-24 08:41:06

Pamper day blush

Babs03 Wed 13-Nov-24 08:43:58

Yoginimeisje

Pamper day blush

🤩

Allsorts Thu 14-Nov-24 06:35:35

Hope Babs, Smileless and Whiff are enjoying this lively bright crisp weather before it changes.
Yoga your forth coming celebrations sound really good.
Sparky Grandma, like me you missed the upsets too. I already question everything I may have done inadvertently.I am getting a landscaper in to give me ideas how to reduce work on my gardens. The thought of moving frightens me, I don't know many round here now but like the area and wherever I go I will be alone.

Yoginimeisje Thu 14-Nov-24 10:44:19

Your not wrong being frightened of moving Allsorts It is a frightening experience. A friend of mine, with a big house was questioning whether she should downsize, I advised her to stay where she is and just close off part of the house. She has a beautiful house overlooking the sea.

I'd love to get in 'garden rescue' to see what they would do with my garden.

Lovely sunny, dry day, so off for a walk on the beach smile

SparklyGrandma Thu 14-Nov-24 10:56:13

Allsorts I understand about how being alone after moving, plus moving whilst doing a move feels like, contemplating it. Not a welcome prospect at all.

Cool but humid here, bright sky but no sun. I remember Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips getting married today in 1974. We got the day off school. My gran and her friends got together and we all sat around the telly watching it. I was the runner, making tea and bring cake and biscuits from the kitchen at suitable intervals. I remember them all cracking jokes and being witty!

It was KCIII birthday too? Was he 26?

Morning everyone ☕️🍰.

SparklyGrandma Thu 14-Nov-24 11:13:28

Yogi your tree - gently lay the plant and pot on its side. Then using an older scissors or garden knife, to cut the bottom surface of the pot gently away from the roots.
When you’ve cut away some section of the plastic, gently try and lift the plant away from the pot.
Gently try and prise the plant off.
If I was Carol Klein I would have said to prepare a hole in the position you want to plant in, water the hole. I use Root Grow in the hole and some gravel too.
Don’t leave the exposed roots long, put them in water, if the phone rings or you feel whacky.
Put the plant in the hole, cover it with earth, and voila!
If it’s a ceramic or clay pot. A hammer might be needed because you can’t cut them.
Keep it watered regularly until the winter rain takes over.
Good luck!
I pay a man to dig, pot and repot, mow, hoe and move heavy stuff around as I can’t do heavy stuff at all.
Smileless have yourself and your friend had a lovely time? Glad you did.

Went out for a garden centre lunch on Monday, talked ourselves to a standstill over cake and a veggie lunch. So reenergising. Bought a small mahonia from my new bed of shrubs. Mahonia is evergreen, which I add trying to add more of so winter might not be just a patch of put.
Anyway I’ve gone on a bit. Apologies if I’ve gone on a bit…

SparklyGrandma Thu 14-Nov-24 11:15:23

Correction - shaky not whacky!

Yoginimeisje Fri 15-Nov-24 09:58:37

Thanks for that Sparkly It is a ceramic pot, a nice one, so I would prefer not to brack it. There is another plant in with it, which I always cut right back till I moved here, I've let it grow, with some pruning, it has red berried on it which the birds love, so want to plant that too, at the back of the garden. I'm free today, so brave pants on and give it a try!

Funny last night, after making tentative arrangements for a night out with a friend with whom I'd missed her birthday celebrations at the beginning of the month. Just about to drop off to sleep and in popped the thought that I had other arrangements made. Couldn't sleep and eventually had to get up and check my calendar - empty. In the morning I checked with friend and yes we had made arrangements! I remember keying into my mobile calendar on leaving the last time, so can only think I didn't press 'save' button. Isn't it amazing how the mind works, my inbuilt calendar reminded me!

Yoginimeisje Fri 15-Nov-24 10:02:32

My DD says she would like to join me for my Birthday pamper Spa Day, so hope she does, that would be lovely.

Allsorts Fri 15-Nov-24 11:44:03

Yoga that would be lovely if your d can join you on your pamper day. I have a calendar and a diary and my phone, frequently miss putting arrangements in, luckily its lodged somewhere in my memory and so far Ive kept them all. Sparkly you are lucky to get anyone to turn up to do jobs, my guy never came.

SparklyGrandma Fri 15-Nov-24 15:32:52

Yogi you might also shake all the current earth out of the ceramic pot, maybe holding it and your plant upside down, get all the old earth out. Then replace with top soil, a little gravel and feed it. I use manure but I’ve a big bag of it.
Some more experienced gardeners than me might advise trimming the roots to make more room for new roots and to cut down on the root ball. But I wouldn’t dare as I’ve never done that.
Is there someone knowledgeable in your local garden centre who could advise about root trimming? In mine there’s a guy who is RHS trained.
Happy birthday for the day Yogi flowers cupcake.

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