Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Morning all

Yes, big thunderstorm last night, I could see the flashes through my eyelids when I was trying to go to sleep last night, would have loved to have got up and watched it all, but sure nothing much could be seen due to the clouds. I remember watching the magnificent storms in Africa, G&T in hand . Didn't see the strawberry super moon either, due to clouds, I was very disappointed to miss it, next one in 2049!

Stay off those other threads, as I do, just upsetting! Glad you are feeling better Whiff and really good to hear Mr.B is up on his feet again. I'm meeting some friends for lunch today, so that will be nice.

Smiles hope Mr.S is ok today after interring his sister's ashes, yes very emotional day for you all. As for naps, I have one every day now, apart from when I go out and then afternoon tiredness doesn't affect me.

I absolutely slept like a log through the whole thing. Unfortunately my smart watch still told me off and said I woke up 5 times and that waking up too often every night could lead to heart problems.

There is no pleasing this thing. I am starting to wonder if it thinks I am deliberately waking myself up to make its job harder.

Afternoon everyone.

No thunder storm here last night although we could have done with one to clear the air.

Good news about Mr. B.; thanks for keeping us updated Whiff.

Mr. S. calls them 'power naps' Yogin which always makes me laugh as he's invigorated and ready to go when he wakes up; more like I was when I woke up yesterday .

Those threads aren't for everyone and tend to be only for the one who starts them!!!

A lot of us do keep going back to those threads so maybe there is something for us there?

For me, I don't agree with everything said but there have been a few points made worth thinking about here and there by different people

I go on because I don't like to see EP bashing.

Sorry went for a walk in the beautiful weather today.

It's only one person, lots of other people contributing in a healthy way that deserve consideration

It only takes one person to upset members of this forum, to put others off posting and/or be instrumental in some leaving.

My not standing by is showing consideration to those contributing in a healthy way.

From reading, it looks like this has been happening for a while.

Do you think a different approach would work? I understand being defensive but this isn't the child of anyone here?

Maybe showing kindness and understanding, the type which their parent obviously didn't show them, might help? Then maybe they would look elsewhere?

I'm afraid my 12 plus years of experience of GN have shown that with some posters, a different approach doesn't work.

I show kindness and understanding to those who seek it regardless of their estrangement status, but posters who do this sort of thing want neither.

Their sole purpose is to vent their anger and bitterness onto others. The EP's being targeted here are not their parents and don't deserve to be treated in this way.

I don't get stuck into EAC who post here because I'm an EP they've estranged their parent(s) because to do so would be cruel and vindictive.

If kindness and understanding is being looked for, that is not the way to find it.

No it's not but the arguments are ruining the forum for everyone. People are posting amongst the argument and just being totally ignored. It would be so nice to bring the conversation back to them only and bring back the positivity.

Well yes it does ruin the forum for everyone but posters like that don't care about anyone else on the forum do they, which is why they do what they do.

I promise you I care. I haven't engaged with them because I don't want to make it worse

Nice Dream I haven't engaged with them because I don't want to make it worse

I can see that as a strategy. It's a bit of a balancing act though isn't it. You presumably saw yourself being quoted on another thread; having an interpretation of your apparent views described; followed by a somewhat confusing interpretation of comments you apparently had a view on. My point is that:

a) your restraint was remarkable in not clarifying what your actual views were and whether the analysis was correct
b) I am unclear why you doing that would have made it worse really

Regardless I think it is a balancing act re not commenting and picking up on clearly generalised comments to fit an individuals agenda on a public forum. I do personally sometimes find it difficult to judge the balance but if I see the discussion becoming circular/overly personal/increasingly confused I do withdraw from a particular strand of a conversation.

As I said we all try to find strategies. One suggested by another poster of discussing our own views/concerns around particular "problem posts" and not commenting on them is certainly viable. But it can mean that very inappropriate generalised statements are left on an open forum which might feed others upset and concerns if they read them

But it can mean that very inappropriate generalised statements are left on an open forum which might feed others upset and concern if they read them exactly Madgran.

IMO inappropriate statements, general or otherwise are unacceptable and if go unchallenged can give the impression that they are being condoned.

Madgran77 I didn't challenge because the interpretation was correct and if you asked me I would have told you that. I just don't want to be associated with this person as we are both estranged children so I didn't want to make a link that might mean others treat me unkindly.

NiceDream

Madgran77 I didn't challenge because the interpretation was correct and if you asked me I would have told you that. I just don't want to be associated with this person as we are both estranged children so I didn't want to make a link that might mean others treat me unkindly.

Ok.
I am equally confused by your interpretation of my comments as well, and I can only conclude that there is a misunderstanding of what I was saying about a very specific comment made in the discussion, possibly because of the way I expressed it. However I won't continue a discussion on that on this support thread as it will detract from the daily support, understanding and, where appropriate, very constructive criticism that posters get here.

Smileless2012

^But it can mean that very inappropriate generalised statements are left on an open forum which might feed others upset and concern if they read them^ exactly Madgran.

IMO inappropriate statements, general or otherwise are unacceptable and if go unchallenged can give the impression that they are being condoned.

Yes that worries me too Smileless

Yes it worries me too which is why I challenged a comment I found hurtful and very generalised and spoke out against generalised comments on threads. It's just unkind. I also don't want to argue direct with the person causing issues and make myself a target or encourage them to reply. So just wanted to explain that.

I missed the nasty people posting again.

Thank you Whiff about my phone appointment with thyroid surgeon.
He was so clever and kind. Upshot is I need surgery and he said I shouldn’t need to pay for the surgery and referred me back to a relevant NHS expert near to me. Whew. I was prepared to pay for the op so it is a relief.

NHS waiting list here is 48 weeks for just the first appointment.

Who knows what causes these things, but I do wonder if the stress of being Estranged puts a heavy burden on our physical well being.

Have a calm peaceful week.

Hello Sparkly I don't think there can be any doubt that the stress estrangement brings burdens us both physically and emotionally .

Goodness, 48 weeks is a long time for just the first appointment ; I hope you'll be OK.

Just as well you've missed the nastiness; thank goodness for this thread,

Anyone got any nice plans today?

NiceDream

Anyone got any nice plans today?

Well I didn't have any set plans but a day sitting in our small garden looking at the flowers in my pots that are really pretty this year and reading, interspersed with a nice lunch and a glass of wine has been very nice! 🙂

Hello Smileless I maybe wrong but I think I will be seen sooner than 48 weeks because I’ve gone by a private consultant. Hopefully. Madgran77 your garden and reading sounds lovely.

NiceDream today drafting a report for SS for which I hope to recognise any forcefull opinions by me and remove them before I send it off.

Doing some Chelsea Chop to some of my plants hardy geraniums, pentstemons, raspberry plants have got out of hand. Feeding everything flowery with tomato feed. A guy comes tomorrow to strip my grass.

No mow May has produced some lovely wild flowers and at 12 inches tall, my cats have found a new pastime; lying in the long grass and pouncing on interlopers passing by.

A phot of said long grass.

Glad your operation will be sooner rather than you expected. It's outrageous to think anyone should wait 48 weeks for a consultation, hope there is a fast track way for potential life threatening conditions. I think stress is responsible for a lot of me medical conditions. I had to call paramedics when I had what they said dangerously high blood pressure due to a very stressful situation last year?
Glad no discussion on here about why others choose to contribute to deliberately nasty threads. Everyone needs a safe space on here.
How go you strip grass?
Yoga we had no storm here but I love to watch them, I was told once it was the old Gods clashing. Hope all resolved now with nasty neighbour.
Meeting a group of friendly aquaintances for coffee, we make it last for over an hour and catch up. Then shops as I have been in all weekend.
Smileless glad MrS doing well.

your garden and reading sounds lovely

Thankyou Sparkly. It is our little oasis! 🙂