Have you ever estranged a relative?

Thank you Nice dream /Smileless xx

Allsorts I'm sorry, I don't understand you again, thread I used to post on? I haven't said anything bad about anyone?

NiceDream, there is a lot of menopause information if you look at Forums.
I wonder if you might get more response if you change your title to something like ‘menopause and emotions’. Alternatively have a look in ‘Health’ and browse. Perhaps you will find someone to chat to. Although your opening post is brief, I sense a complex set of feelings. I am aware that women talk openly about ‘I’m warm, weepy, not sleeping - it is the
menopause’. Have you sisters, cousins, friends and you open a conversation with a comment, and see where it takes you.
I wish you well, family relationships are complicated.

I wasn't feeling low and hormonal when I posted, I'll find someone to talk to about it, thank you

I think I'm just thinking about things I don't normally

I was primarily wondering if there are people my age estranged from family

I am sorry you cannot see how different it is for an abused child to estrange and the other thread you were posting was on grandparents being estranged. No one said you said anything bad. That's all I want to say on the matter as its pointless.

Allsorts

I am sorry you cannot see how different it is for an abused child to estrange and the other thread you were posting was on grandparents being estranged. No one said you said anything bad. That's all I want to say on the matter as its pointless.

Sorry but where is it you don't think I should be posting? Because I haven't been told I am unwelcome anywhere?

I've only had good feedback from other people posting here?

I was nearly estranged by a very, very close relative. Through my perseverance and patience, I think, the problem was sorted.

CrazyH glad for you

Thankyou NiceDream

I don't know about your age but I haven't spoken to my mother for nearly ten years, since my father died. She spent her whole life making me feel worthless and invisible. (But apparently I can't take a joke.)

The day after my father died the family were gathered around and she thought it was a great time to tell everyone how very fat I was as a teenager. I was devastated at losing my Dad, very upset, and I just looked at her and thought 'she has no thought for any one's feelings at all'. The next morning we packed our bags and went home and I haven't spoken to her since.

It's a long and complicated story. I'm not estranged from anyone else, although I've never discussed the situation with anyone else. I'll happily chat with any other family member if they contact me. My lovely nieces hate me because they worship their Gran, and because this is my journey and not theirs I don't want to affect the way they feel about her.

Anyway, you're not alone. The trouble is I now have a life filled with guilt which is almost as bad as feeling worthless.

Ambergran I understand, I'm sorry for what you went through

Oh no AmberGran please don't feel guilty about estranging the mother who had spent her whole life making (you) feel worthless and invisible.

You have nothing to be guilty about so enjoy the life you have with those who love and want you in theirs .

Nice dream, you ate not alone. I have been estranged from my mother for over twenty years, it’s how I want it, I will never reconcile under any circumstances.
If people don’t approve, that’s their problem, not mine, I couldn’t care less.
She was a pretty bad mother, but not abusive, she had her problems, and I don’t hold her 100% responsible, I just don’t like her.

I think it just feels so unnatural, everyone deserves a good mum

Well we don’t all get them, focus on the positive things in your life.

Ambergran, sadly I have the same situation with my nieces, and nephew.
I would have loved to have been an auntie to them, but they love their gran, and assume I am the bitch from hell.
To be fair, I think my brother has tried to stand up for me a bit, but they know her, and not me, so it’s obvious, and understandable, that they only see things from her side

This thread is very weird indeed!

Sara1954

Well we don’t all get them, focus on the positive things in your life.

Just organising a family meetup next weekend so working on it 😊

Nice dream
Good plan

How is it weird Crossstitchfan?

I went NC with the woman who gave birth to me in 2015. I saw her at my daughter's wedding a couple of years ago.

Life is better without her. Family who know her understand

NiceDream

Thank you Bluebelle I appreciate that. I'm ok, just feeling a little out of place here and wanted to reach out

If we know why you are lonely on here, may be we can chat about what you would like ?

No. I have a very large and squabbly family and a few loyal but sometimes difficult friends. We fall out, but I would never estrange anyone on purpose. Maybe I've been very lucky.

The only person I 'avoid' is my son's ex who still gives me a lot of grief, even if she sees me for a very brief time. But 'estranged?'... no.

Allsorts

NiceDream, You now have a thread about abuse, so that's good.
The thread you used to post on was ordinary people, not violators and abusers so no knowledge of your situation.
As for mother's talking about menopause or periods, never ever. Most of us didn't. None of this ‘love you’ everytime we spoke either, but it was how things were then, we all managed regardless and I consider myself blessed to have had brilliant parents, they worked hard, gave us good moral values, lovely clean home and good food. My parent went without to give us a good home. I knew they loved us we didn't need telling. I am a glass half full not half empty person.

My mum was ok but I went to a boarding school. She never spoke to me about anything woman wise or of any value. You are not alone. She is still alive , almost 80. Lives in another country, my brother looks after her well