Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Yogin have fun with your granddaughters. I don't like the idea of mother's day services . Not just because of estrangement. But because of people like my best friend who after countless miscarriages was told she would never be able to carry a child to term . Plus all the mother's who have had child die either through illness ,accident or by their own hand. It just rubs salt into the wound .

Yesterday at the church round the corner from me there was a fund raiser in the name of one of the girls that got killed in a town I go to on the train it made headlines on the news. But it wasn't sad I brought couple of bee themed things as the little girls name was similar. Won on the tombola it was all cuddly toys one thing I won was a large teddy bear so asked someone at a stall to put it with the toys for the children to play with. No sit fit tomorrow our instructor is ill but will take the other 4 toys I won with me on Tuesday to move it or lose it and put with the toys. Also won couple of things on another stall my grandsons will have those. The vicar of the church and her husband who is a vicar of another church where both having their hair shaved off along with 2 others to raise money . Saw lots of people I know ,lot of Wombles and they had a stall. Sat and had a cuppa with who we call Mr and Mrs Womble they had a litter pick going to the church and finished off when they went home . My youngest friend who was in Cinderella was dressed as a bee. She always looks beautiful. At nearly 68 who would though I would have a friend who is nearly 16. She has gotten a place at a really good college up here. Best thing I ever did was move here.

Glad you enjoyed the Dubliners Yogin I am seeing The Shamrocks in October . I ended up booking another concert but it's on a Saturday afternoon Harmony Orchestra it's all young people and it's free . Am in a box which is accessible for disabled as the other boxes and stalls are for parents and other family members.

I can't go into the main auditorium not because I can't get there but I can't be with so many people round me.

I had a very bad attack of my HPX on Friday I was making marmalade and with the fan on didn't hear the door bell and my window cleaner knocked my window. Haven't had such a bad attack for 6 years lasted longer than I used to have and it took my speech. Good job I was sitting down otherwise I would have been on the floor and my floors are concrete .When it stopped and I could move and fight to get the words out . My window cleaner gave me a hug . He knows about my startle reflex but never seen how bad it can be . In future he is going to text me before he comes. He kept apologising but said not to.

Just glad I am seeing my neurologist on Wednesday. Have lot of questions and if I get the answers I expect I will be complaining via PALs about the stroke neurologist.

🌹🌹

I won’t say the obvious greeting to you all, but I am thinking of you all today. I haven’t looked at other threads on here as I feel you ladies all understand and help me through it all and that is all I need.
It is a day of mixed emotions for me. Mother’s Day always used to be about my Mum. She wasn’t easy, but all five of us siblings always did what was expected and dutifully put her first rather than spend Mothers Day enjoying being mothers ourselves.
Now that she has gone, I wanted it to be different with my own daughters, or at least my youngest D now. At least she appreciates me and will be coming over later, with my GD after her show rehearsal, and we will have a takeaway so that neither of us have to entertain. I want to recognise that its her Mothers Day too. I want to start a new habit since my Mum died, that its not all about me, but both of us as we are both mothers.

After I received the reply from my letter reaching out to my estD, which was more accusations and lies, I wrote back again as I needed closure. I felt I had never had the opportunity of telling her my side of things. I felt better for it. I wrote that letter about 5 times but eventually thought, if this is the last communication I ever have with her, then I can’t have it on my conscience that it was a nasty letter. So I made it quite emotional and defeatist. (Is that a word?!) I must have apologised so many times, even though some of it I didn’t feel I needed to. I told her I loved her and reminded her of all the times I did get it right and how I had always been there for her, through all her difficult times (and my goodness she had loads of those!). I have now also written to my teenage GDs telling them how proud of them I am and how much I miss them and love them. Saying that if they ever want to contact me, I am still here for them.

It felt that I had let go a bit, and have slept better since. There is absolutely nothing I can do now and my conscience is better for it.

My ex-husband (her Dad) apparently had her on the phone for an hour where she was in tears about it. I don’t know how I feel about that

So going back to all of you, I hope you can have a nice day and remember to look after yourself today and maybe even spoil yourself with something you love to do - eat or drink !!!.

I'm glad that you've managed to let go a bit Debbie having sent your last letter to your ED. That was how I felt when I sent a 'goodbye' email to our ES which like you, I made sure wasn't nasty but did say what I needed to say.

Enjoy your time with your youngest D and GD.

I like Mothers Day, I am happy to get a card. You don't really need recognition if you have a good relationship though. Happy my dil is having a good time with my grandchildren.
The last letter I wrote to my daughter was over 18 months ago.
I did not guilt trip her, just said how much she had always meant to me and put both her brother first always, she knows the truth, she didn't want her life interrupted by being on call for me as I am on my own, but I would never have done that. Her reply was, her chosen friends were her family and she preferred it that way. Very cold, she just doesn't care it’s as simple as that. Now I don't seek or want reconciliation she has shown her true feelings.

Debbie glad you feel better sending the final letter. We all have to do what makes us feel better. I didn't do that I just sent a text in 2023 it was friendly just asking how they where. I had already decided if I got silence or abuse I was done . I have never apologised as I have never done the things my son accused me of . Keeping things about his dad's cancer was my husband's choice he didn't want the children to know . And yet he threw that in my face. But my husband always came before the children . They where growing up and having they're own lives . As much as I loved both the children and my grandsons I still love my husband more . He was the other half of me, my world ,my everything . We choose eachother and had a life together before and after having the children.

Children have to fly and make their own lives and mistakes. And boy have my son and daughter in law made some whoppers before and after having their eldest 2. But I kept my mouth shut .

There no such thing as a perfect family . We are all unquie. My parents did the best they good bring my brother and me up . But we always knew we where loved and given attention. My husband like my dad didn't know what a family was until they meet us. Then they both had the family they wanted and needed .

Thinking about mother's day reminded me about first father's day after my husband died. My son was at college in general studies the teacher asked what each person was getting their dads . He asked my son he said nothing the teacher said that's not nice my son shouted he's 🦆🦆🦆🦆ING dead and walked out and came home upset . I had told the college when my husband was terminal and when he died . That teacher didn't get the message . I told them he wouldn't be attending general studies again and just to give him the work he needed to do for the exam .

I offered to let the uni know about her dad but my daughter said she was an adult and could handle it herself . They where very understanding and when her dad was terminal only had to attend a couple of lectures a week and she just did the rest of the work herself . She still got a 2.1 BA Hons in politics. Didn't want to go to her graduation ceremony as her dad was looking forward to it . I had left it up to her what she wanted to do .

We raised our children the same and instilled good values into them and lots of love . Once they fly it's often who they love which either makes it breaks the family . With my son it broke ties with all our side so it wasn't me . He choose . But he and his family have my husbands surname and our DNA is in him and our grandsons . So as much as he doesn't want me he has no choice as I and his dad are forever part of him .

Hello ladies, fellow estrangees,
I don’t like U.K. Mothers Day, I usually blank it and just have a normal Sunday.
Luckily my church doesn’t ‘do’ Mothering Sunday, it’s an Anglican thing.

Then a young friend and neighbour sent me a Happy Mothers Day message and I remembered that women around me are mothers and deserve my wishing them well.

My crocuses are flowering, daffs next, it’s been well worth finding a nice wildlife focussed gardener - a woman gardener no less.

I can’t do much but she put 4-5 pots that needed planting or weeding, around me as I was sitting in my deckchair, and I had fun playing with the grounding Earth.

Fasting for Lent and to make good sugar control hopefully so my parathyroid doctor will operate.

Lovely to see you all on here xxx

Hello Sparkly, lovely to see your post. Sounds like you've got a good gardener so let's hope we get a good summer so you'll be able to enjoy it.

Mr. S. has been making the most of the good weather and has already got ours looking lovely while I supervise .

It's been fabulous here today, just like summer!!! So nice that we unpacked our garden furniture and sat out on our decking this afternoon entertained by rabbits chasing one another around .

Nice to hear from you Sparkly.,Well done for getting in good shape for operation. To get out in the sunshine in nature is the best tonic you can have.
I gave up biscuits and cakes for Lent, then had a day when I forgot and ate both, so next day started again, I know that's not allowed, but I have.
Debbie, I hope you get a response better than I did from your daughter.. I did read that most estrangements last four years, I have passed that time by many years now and the longer it is the less likely to reconnect.

Sparkly hopefully your doctor will operate soon . It is lovely to see all the spring flowers opening . Have more daffs than I thought as the squirrels usually eat the bulbs . My front garden has had an explosion of grape hyacinth which I love as they last long time . My gardener will start soon but it's not looking to bad weed wise. Need some plants moving the wet winter they have doubled in size . Soon be time to plant my tomatoes in my greenhouse and start my french bean seeds off . I grow those outdoors. Only growing the 2 things this year as disappointed with my courgettes last year .

Before I forget if any of you have grandchildren at uni and in touch with them try and see if they will have the meningitis jab . Uni's will be breaking up soon and so far it's mainly in Kent but with students going home for Easter it will spread all over the country. As it's bacterial antibiotics will work on it if caught quicky . I remember my kids having the mene C jab which is viral ,but this one thinks it's called Mene B is rarer but more deadly and spreads quicker

Hopefully there will be no storage of the vaccine and everyone can get it . I see it's £220 if you have it done privately but what cost do you put on a life . I know it's available on NHS in Kent but don't know if they will let it be available to all uni students . I know if my kids where at uni I would pay .

Even though estranged from my son he like my daughter paid for the boys to have the chicken pox vaccine . I assume my son and daughter in law had their youngest jabbed as well .

Smiles I will have to get my window cleaner to give my bench a coat of varnish before it goes out . The fence ready needs a cost of paint but doing more things this year so that money spent on other things but it has been painted yearly last 3 years . So think the green that is only on couple of the panels will brush off. Lovely to see the rabbits playing . On the way to the hospital on Wednesday the bus goes through wooded areas and farm land . Saw rabbits in the fields playing .. Yesterday had lot of blue and great tits in my garden .

Saw my neurologist on Wednesday he is upping my Clonazepam but until my GP gets the letter can't increase it. I take 3 x 1mg tablet a day. But he is increasing it by 0.25 mg 3 times a day . And no way can you spilt even with my pill box cutter a 1mg tablet into 4. But the 500 microgram tablets have groove so can be cut into 2 . He mentioned 2 other tablets we could try and I checked they wouldn't effect my liver . But want to try the Clonazepam first. He wasn't happy a year on still haven't had speech therapy but I told him about going to the 8 singing and exercise class plus my vocal warm ups and singing I do when using my static pedals daily . I was with him 45 mins he never rushes me . He confirmed my suspicion I had TIA last year if the stupid idiot who did my CT had done the whole of my head they would have seen it . But evidence of a TIA disappears quickly especially when like me on blood thinners. Told him the stroke neurologist was an idiot and told me it was a migraine. He doesn't have anything to do with the stroke team but did grin when I said it . He knows my history of being called names by doctors in the long ago past. Plus the 1.5cm lesion under my scalp is benign and nothing to worry about but I wasn't worried. Because it's between my scalp and skull I may have had it for long time . The only worry would have been if it was on my brain which it isn't. Be it's nice to be told in person by an expert.

Found out something interesting because the wonderful Professor Marsden did all the tests in 1992 that's why he went straight for having my whole genome genetically tested. As no point in repeating them as Professor Marsden was the top neurologist in the country at the time.

Had lovely lunch yesterday with a friend I made on GN who lives town over from me . Our other friend couldn't go as she was ill. Glad I had sorted out my lighter coats as my winter ones would have been to hot .

Hopefully everyone has the nice weather today and things planned to do . Going to the Phil on Thursday for Elgar concert.

Take care everyone.

Good news Whiff about your recent visit to Neurologist. I was told when I had a suspected TIA, brain scan had to be done within 24 hours.
Lovely weather at the moment and love seeing all the Spring flowers.

Morning all.

It's another lovely morning, I think the weather's going to change next week so we'll make the most of it while we can.

It's great that you have such a good neurologist Whiff and receive good care. Enjoy the Elgar concert on Thursday.

We had a lovely meal last night at the Thai restaurant we like, just the two of us so a nice relaxed evening.

Have a good day everyone and enjoy the .

We are just back from a few days in Devon. Amazing weather which was a real bonus for a March break.

Tomorrow a load of building work jn the garden is starting to make it more manageable for us. I'm looking forward to when it is finished and I can reorganise all my pots and start planting again.

Glad you had a good neurology appointment Whiff. I love Thai food Smileless but Mr Mgran less keen so my daughter and I treat ourselves occasionally.

Loving this sunny weather too and making the most of it in the garden too as I think it's cooling down this week. Unfortunately for me, it comes with hay fever - my allergy is to tree pollen. Read somewhere that the pollen counts is raised for Cypress trees. We have a Leylandi hedge all round our garden so I think that's what's causing the problem.
Glad to hear you are all doing nice things and making progress with your doctors! Such hard work here - I tried to get an appointment with a lady doctor and have to wait a month!

Afternoon everyone.

It's another lovely day here today and yesterday's very cold wind has gone but it's still rather chilly.

There's a definite down side to being surrounded by wildlife. One of the ducks was discovered by our neighbour minus its beak!!! .

I'm glad we didn't see the poor thing. A and L managed to catch it and L took it to a local vet to presumably be put down because I can't see how it could have survived. A wildlife sanctuary said it was a possibility if someone could be found to take care of it on a permanent basis.

They do get upset as their lodge looks out onto a pond and they see crows going after ducklings and sparrow hawks after small birds. Last year we were all saddened when the number of little ducklings diminished on a daily basis .

We overlook the golf course so are mostly spared thank goodness.

We're fortunate that we have the same taste in food Madgran apart from olives which I hate but Mr. S. loves. It's good that you can enjoy a Thai meal with your DD.

Hope the work on your garden's going well.

Take care everyone xx

Hope everyone remembered to change the clocks . I managed to change the timer on my oven without looking at the manual . That's a first.

My neurologist increased my Clonazepam by 250 micrograms 3 times a day . I know it will take at least a month before my GP gets the prescription increase. I am so tired of not controlling my arms and my speech coming and going. I fill my pill box of a Saturday so I had a good look at the 1mg tablet and it had a grooved cross so I decided to see if I could cut it into 4 using my pill cutter box. I destroyed 2 tablets before I could cut it into 4. So Sunday started taking the increased dose . By the time I went to my sit fit class I had taken 5 doses and my arms where under my control . I could do all the exercises without my arms doing there own thing . Our instructor said she couldn't get over the difference and others said the same thing plus my speech was normal.

Tuesday went to move it or lose it class . I kept hold of all the things we used and did the opposite arm and leg movement . Our instructor told me I was moving faster and did things I couldn't for a year . I can clap again . Others noticed as well and said so.

My daughter and grandsons came after school and she said I looked different I asked how she said your body and your face . So no idea how my face looked before. But I do feel different and happy I have control over my arms again .

I will leave it another week to make sure it's still working and email my neurologists secretary what I have done and how I feel.

Since January last year hated the loss of control over my arms and speech . For 5 years I had control after 32 years of my limbs doing what they wanted . It didn't make me depressed just very angry that the stroke neurologist dismissed me with it's a migraine.

My GN friend meet me at the Phil and a stewart took us to the box . My friend doesn't like classical music but has been converted. First was Elgar serenade for strings ,then the composer came out to explain the next piece which he composed to feel like a seance. So there were singers who shouted or sang odd works . The soloist sang part of the work . But it did feel like a seance . After the interval was Sibailius and that's what she enjoyed the most. We are going to pop goes classical by candlelight to the Anglian cathedral next month . But I am going to the Phil to the Mendelssohn concert on my own .

I am a member of their access scheme as I am disabled so I get a free ticket when I buy mine . But gave the Mendelssohn one back so they can re sell it as no one wanted to go .
Have other concerts booked . I do love going there such a beautiful place .

My daughter and family in Rome for the week . Just my usual things this week by next week busy every day and going out with Wombles for a meal to a Greek restaurant love Greek food and I am a veggie now plenty to choose from.

Already booked the restaurant for the meal out with my GN friends . Or Lunch club as our what's app is called.

Unfortunately that's the draw back living close to nature Smiles but that's nature for you survival of the fittest . Glad you have a nice meal with Mr S never tried Thai food or been to a Chinese or Indian restaurant. But then again all the things we had got planned once the kids go older never got to do. But I am loving all the things I am doing . Things I never thought I would . Next craft group one of our members is going to teach us mosaic so looking forward to that . But our cuppa and chat before that . I go to things in order I joined so giving up my move it or lose class for my Wombles cake etc and chat as I joined that first.

So pleased you decided to sort your medication to your advantage Whiff, with excellent results, you are in control again...
Busy lady, enjoy your events and take care.

Morning all

Yes, I remembered the clocks Smiles. It was also my first day teaching in the Tennis courts at my club, it was actually ok and not cold, so all's good there. I was supposed to go to a friend's afternoon gig: 'Waves of Malibu' sounded lovely, but after the early start, losing an hour, shop in Lidl on way back, then lunch, I couldn't muster the energy to go .

Same happens in my park too Smiles really sad. I have some black birds nesting in my garden & have bluetits every day too, unfortunately 2 magpies, that are nesting in the tree in the garden at the back, they eat baby birds, the black birds chase them off, so hope they stay safe.

Well done Whiff with your recovery, your GC can see in your face how much better you are feeling. Good to hear about your opera, I'm not a fan but did really enjoy 'Madam Butterly'.

Afternoon everyone.

So pleased the medication is working well Whiff .

I do find altering the clocks is annoying Yogin and wish they were just left as they are. As you say, seeing nature at work is a draw back so I try to focus on the rabbits chasing one another around just outside the front of our lodge.

It's lovely and sunny here today but that wind is biting so the dogs will be wearing jumpers when I take them out later.

Brilliant news Whiff about your medication working.
Smiles, how horrible about the duck, I cannot see how it can manage without a beak, nature can be so cruel.
Debbie, my hay fever lasts all year round. Permanently on Cetrizine but when its really bad only a nose spray stops my eyes itching, I keep trying to stop the tablets but within 24 hours my eyes are itching and I continuously sneeze.
Yoga, I am always pleased to be on summertime as my body suits it better for some reason.

Good morning and 'Happy Easter' to you all.

Not the best of forecasts but it is sunny here if rather chilly. I hope you all have a good weekend xx

HAPPY EASTER ALL

Happy Easter everyone day late.🐰🐣.
It is such a relief to be in control of my body again thank you all for good wishes. I had 5 years after 32 years of not being able to control my limbs to being able to control them and not them me . So the last 14 months has been a mix of upset and mainly anger over the loss of control but at least it was just my arms.

Because of being near the sea it's the gulls of all types that are the main predators of eggs and chicks . Until I moved here didn't realise just how huge herring and black backed gulls are they land on my fence with a thud. Crows fly off. But Magpies attack them in a gang they are a sixth of the size of them but vicious when guarding their territory.

Hopefully now I am feeling myself I will beable to go too a valley which is walking distance from me . There is a friend's group for it and a talented photographer has taken pictures there .

Taking my youngest grandson with me to cuppa and chat tomorrow. My daughter text yesterday if I could have him and checked with the Wombles it's ok to bring him but I will pay for what he has. Funny kid doesn't like cake . So will buy some of the delicious cookies for him and the family . Must remember to ask my daughter if he can have a juice box or just water. They mainly have water and milk of course . I know the hi light of our outing with be going on the bus . I have already been told by my daughter she is giving me the money for his bus fare and no arguing.

Yogin you mention teaching tennis that's where his brother is going to tennis camp . My daughter will drop them off before work . Both boys had tennis rackets for Christmas. The eldest has been playing a couple of years and his brother plays at after school club.

Allsorts all year round hay fever must be annoying. Funny enough my husband got hay fever and eczema when he was in his early 30's started the same time . But it was summer hay fever. My son in law has the late summer sort and unfortunately my eldest grandson has it as well.

Seems strange putting eldest grandson but he is their eldest not my eldest grandson as I have no idea about him or his brother's. Glad to say still have silence from my son .

The dog walkers here Smiles still have the coats on their dogs as the sun is lovely but the wind biting . A friend in Fort William said yesterday they have snow .

Did all the prep work for my friends coming for lunch today yesterday. I always choice something that doesn't keep me in the kitchen long while they are here .

A friend has gone on a 5 day cruise with Saga they picked her up from home yesterday. Had text 9.40pm she had arrived on the ship. Here they do have big ships ,but mainly the smaller ones that have 1,300-1500 passengers . Not far to travel to get too the docking port. Those I know who cruise like the smaller ships .

Had my copy of the letter my neurologist sent my GP yesterday via NHS app he had put my new dosage but he also said I can up my dosage from the new 1.25mg 3 times a day to 1.5mg 3 times a day if I need to . That's what I love about my neurologist he listens and gives me a choice as I know my own body . But then again my GPs and cardiologist also listen and give me choices . Healthcare really is a postcode lottery.

Have a good day everyone.

Hope you all had a good Easter, weather was good, albeit cold wind.

Good Friday I went for lunch with a friend, Saturday had DD&GDs for an Easter egg hunt then dinner. Sunday was to go out with my son, but he didn't feel well with a bad cold, so I called my friend with no answer . So went out on my own and got a call from said friend as I got to the park. We ended up having a really lovely lunch right on the seafront, actually on the beach in a lovely tapas bar. Had 'Bang bang haddock' [sweet chili sauce] with chunky chips and a glass of wine; Heaven .

Morning everyone.

We had a good weekend too Yogin, a meal out with friends on Saturday and a lovely church service on Sunday. The church was packed as all three morning service congregations attended the one service at 10.30. I always find taking communion on Easter Sunday particularly moving.

Oooh that 'Bang bang haddock' sounds yummy. I do salmon with a little sweet chilli sauce on the top and spaghetti tossed in sweet chilli sauce.

Mr. S. has gone to the train station to pick up his brother whose coming here for the first time. It's a beautiful day which shows the site at its best and we'll be going to the '10th Hole' on site cafe for lunch where I think I'll treat myself to a glass of Prosecco .

Smileless, do you still sing? Have you found another choir since moving?