Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Oh Whiff what an awful time you’ve had and yet remain so resilient.

You made me laugh with your last message but sorry you deleted your post.

You are an inspiration.
😘

Sorry Babs and Babylon for mixing you up.

Smileless thank you for the flowers..

Whiff sending you some kindness and a virtual hug - (((hug)))

Good to hear from you Whiff, amazing lady, take good care of yourself.

Afternoon everyone.

Hope all goes well on the 8th Whiff; keep us posted

Nice to see you back Whiff, you have had a lot to cope with this year. You have also done such a lot too. Hopefully you will get some answers soon.

Yes I echo what the others have said. You have been a rock to me Whiff over the past few months, wishing you well with your upcoming appointment 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Morning all

Nice day, at the moment anyway.

Very sorry to read all you've been through Whiff you are very brave and very thoughtful to your DD, not letting her know till after her birthday. I wish you health & happiness as I know you have said there is no cure. Good to read you had a lovely time with your brother & family, so spirits lifted.

Had a very stressful time, didn't sleep a wink last night. Had a knock on the door yesterday about 1.30pm, some guys were doing some roofing work 2 doors down. They had actually knocked for upstairs; saying something about gutters, I think. Ended up coming into my back garden to give a quote on a new flat roof for my extension & for a new garden gate, both quotes were twice the amount I thought they should be. But before I knew it, they were bringing all their gear round into the back garden saying they would do it tomorrow.

I said 'your price is high and I want to get a second quote', but they were just sort of dismissing what I was saying & left. I messaged them saying I don't want them to go ahead till I have a second quote; unread, so I phoned and he said he'd just bought all the materials. I'd messaged within 30mins of them leaving & phoned after a couple of hours. I recon they saw the message on their smart watch & knew.

Tossing and turning all night long, imagining the worsted of scenarios. Up just after 5am and thought to put all their gear out the back gate but couldn't lift any of it. I had another roofer coming round to give me a quote at 8.30, he was great and said he recons they were/are gypsies and I thought the same. He really knew his stuff, so I booked him to come Tuesday to do the work, still quite expensive but he clearly knew what he was doing. He put all their stuff outside the garden gate with no problems.

I messaged and then phoned the first roofers to tell them I had booked another roofer and to collect their gear. I was surprised that they didn't kick up a fuss. I can hear them still working 2 doors down on their roof, wonder if they could hear me talking to the other roofer

Oh Yogi that’s a worry will look out for them near us, thankfully we have a lovely young roofer living two doors up from us who has done a job for us before. Wish I knew you needed someone could give you his number.
Sorry, haven’t managed to get out for a coffee with you and Joey, Mr B has more hospital appointments than there are days in the week, strangely enough the docs strike gave us respite but then he got a bug from the GCs and we were worried it would go to his chest and give him pneumonia again. Thankfully he is now over it.
Love to all ❤️❤️

How stressful for you Yogin, they probably thought you were easy pickings being there on your own. Well done for saying no and standing your ground.

First off my apologies for my post it was all me me me. I wanted explain why I have been missing . And as usual it turned into a ramble . As usual I can never explain anything simply my mind jumps all over the place. I know it's normal for people with HPX so I just accept it's me . I know friends her understand but any new people would think I am self centred. And that's not me.

The post I wrote yesterday and lost I will write now .

Smiles I know you and Mr S will be a tower of strength for your cousin . Can't remember if you said the funeral had been held or not . Unfortunately once the funeral is held people disappear as if grief is catching but I know you and Mr S will be there to give comfort and support when it's needed.

Sparkly hope you get help soon to stop your legs feeling as they do . It's as if your body belongs to someone else and you just want to go back to how you were .

Dotcom thank you ,but inspiration no just stubborn and have a temper . But haven't lost my temper at anyone since my husband died just at myself. Luckily I moved here nearly 6 years ago and it changed my life only bad thing is the estrangement with my son and family his choice . But made my peace with that couple of years ago . Been 5 years since I last saw or spoke to him . All the good things in my life now far outwards what he has done . I can honestly say I am happier now living here than before. I have a life I love and doing all the things my husband wanted for me. Plus having both my diagnosis of what I was born with has opened up my world . And I mean that literally as my HPX group is worldwide.

Bridie you have your fair share of problems you have overcome. And come out stronger and help others.

Allsorts no matter what life throws at you ,you battle through and you know what I wish you would do only to well. I hope you go to a concert soon and you can get assistance just tell them when you book your ticket. I am on the access system at the Phil which means I get help getting to my seat and getting out of the hall. Plus when I pay for my ticket I get another free for a companion. Only person I asked who would like the concert I am going to in November can't come . So told them to sell the ticket or give it to someone else. Not everyone has the same taste as me in music .

Babs thank you . Hope Mr B is slowly improving. And you can meet up with Yogin soon.

Yogin I hope your granddaughters arm is healing . Hopefully your ex and brother in law have left you alone . I know you are worried about your estranged daughter but you have done all you can . Glad you have your son and daughter to support you and cuddles with Joey of course.
Sorry you missed out on the dance but hope you had a lovely lunch at Lakeside with your sister.

Yogin brilliant handling of those scammers. Glad you got a roofer who knows his stuff and his work will be guaranteed. When I first moved here already knew there was a problem with my garage roof . I used the roofers my daughter had. Once they took the stones off the roof they took pictures to show me the problem. And gave me a price to fix it. But asked them how much for a new roof only £50 dearer so had a new roof. They have been back a couple of times last time was 2 years ago when some of the roof felt overlapping the edge of the roof came loose. While up there notice a bit of overlap had also come loose so fixed it.

Good tradesmen are worth their weight in gold. I am lucky with the people I use and I feel safe with them . Plus they don't charge call out fees and don't charge the earth.

These last few months has made me realise I need to get a cleaner just to pop in every 3 weeks to do the bits I can't reach . I will pick a cleaning firm that way I will always have someone come when they say they will. My life runs on routine and planning ahead . I can do emergencies if my family need me . Have always been a planner since my teens and it's gotten worse as I have gotten older . Hence the Doncaster train station episode set my HPX into overdrive.

Hopefully my neurologist will agree to what I want on Friday . Just to put my mind and rest and if they find something or nothing I can cope with that .

Right end of ramble hope I haven't missed anyone out. Sorry if I have . Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine going to see if I have any toms ready to pick.

🌹😊

Morning all

Beautiful sunny morning

Thanks Babs I'm pleased with the roofer that's coming to do the job on Tuesday, expensive but very good reviews on his work. Only problem; I forgot it's my DD birthday, we have already arranged to go out for lunch, but the roofer said he should be finished around 1pm, so that should be OK.

Had a lovely evening yesterday at my friends birthday party. She always gets everyone to bring their musical instruements, beautiful flutist! Those without were given an instruement, I had a go at a didgeridoo , great fun.

Thanks Smiles and you're right. I gave myself a talking to and made the decision that they would not be doing the job.

Whiff when you move it takes a while to 'collect' all the good trades people, keeping their details for another time. Hope your tomatoes are lovely. I had some growing out of a big pot plant in my kitchen from throwing the cut offs from my lunch in, I was amazed when I realised the 'weed' was a tomatoes plant. They were so tasty that I brought some when I next shopped, but I had stopped eating due to my acid indig. problem. Best of luck on Friday xx

Yogin, glad you enjoyed the musical party, what instrument did you play ? You handled the roofer well. A few years ago a lovely guy came my door saying he had just finished pruning a neighbours tree and as he had all equipment with him if I needed anything doing it would be special rate. I had
a tree that needed pruning, it wasn't too big, he said two hours work and quoted me a figure. I agreed, he said he was starving do I did him a bacon sandwich and a cuppa, In under an hour the pruning was finished and he came for his money. I said yes when you've taken the cuttings, he said that would be double what was quoted, he turned from being nice to angry. A few doors away my friends husband heard him shouting and same round. He asked where this house was that he had worked on, couldn't remember, in the end he removed the cuttings accepted original offer, I gave him the money and asked him to sign, he couldn't read or write so signed with an X. Now I only deal with reputable people although it costs more, that incident upset me for days the way he just turned on me.
Whiff such a shame that ticket has to be wasted, it would be a nice prize in a raffle for charity.

Morning all

Allsorts He was a gypsie if he couldn't read or write. They leave school after primary. Yes, it is really upsetting. I'm sure I've been duped in the past with hedge & tree trimming when I lived in the house before this. You look back and realise the cost was too high. They are so nice and friendly when they ask to do the job, but if you cross them, woe-be-tyde! That's why I was so worried about that roofer!

I learnt this morning that a good friend's husband has just passed away, quick aggressive cancer, I had no idea he was even ill, such a shock.

Morning everyone.

You hear so many horror stories about people knocking on doors offering to do roofing and drives Yogin, who charge a fortune for work that didn't need doing in the first place, and sometimes they leave it in a worse condition than when they started.

You absolutely did the right thing .

The rain's just started hammering down here and we're hoping that we'll be spared the worse of the strong winds forecast for today.

Don't know if Mr. S. will be playing his bowls match this evening after a busy bowls festival week last week. He got through to the pairs final yesterday but they lost by just 3 points. Has a lovely shield though which he'll have for 6 months before giving to his partner for 6.

Hope none of you will be badly affected by today's storm. Stay safe x

Just seen your last post Yogin; sounds like my cousin's partner. It's frightening just how quickly some cancers can take a life .

Yoginimeisje

I learnt this morning that a good friend's husband has just passed away, quick aggressive cancer, I had no idea he was even ill, such a shock.

So sorry, sometimes it isn’t that the cancer is quick but that there are no real symptoms for some time. We all check for bumps and moles but sadly sometimes there are no outward sign. 😞

That's right Babs, with some cancers you can have it for sometime before you notice there maybe something wrong.

It is just a shock Yogin, losing someone so quickly. Your poor friend.

Well is rinse and repeat, DH went for an assessment in the hospital, turns out that last weeks CT hadn’t changed from the one before it but still showed signs of a bleed, another CT yesterday showed similar. Have been told to bring him back in if there are signs of deterioration. Difficult to tell when the original stroke makes him confused and agitated sometimes as well as very tired.
Hmmm.
Still the fam are here this weekend for GCs birthday. Am making him a Spider-Man cake. They are bringing all the food and drink. He is having another party at home with his nursery pals. So really looking forward to that.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weather.
Lots of love ❤️

Allsorts the system doesn't work like that . The ticket was given to me for a companion because of my disability. It was for me to take another person . Unfortunately the only one who would have enjoyed it couldn't go and no one else likes his music . Sir Stephen Hough is playing the piano with a full orchestra. Not everyone like classical music. I wasn't put on the access system until I went to my first concert last month was conductor Vasily Petrenko. It was brilliant and with my hi fidelity ear plugs with the strongest strength I could hear the music without any noise around me . When talking to people had to take them out as I couldn't hear what they where saying clearly . But wearing them kept my HPX kicking in . So I can go to concerts but won't go to the pictures as I will be to crammed in and the screening rooms are to small for me to cope with.

I brought my ticket for Fishermen's friends as soon as they where announced so had it for 5 months it's for February. I have to pick seats that is accessible for me . So the concert I am seeing in November is in a box as all the other available seats where not suitable but it was only £10 dearer.

Yogin I am sorry about your friend . My mom was lucky her GP was away and it was a locum. Mom had pain in her left breast so was sent to rapid access clinic. Mammogram and biopsy the cancer was in the right breast and the size of a pea the consultant said if she hadn't come when she did she would have died . The smaller the cancer the more aggressive it is . Plus not all lumps can be felt or detected via machines.

When I had my hysterectomy when I was 38 they could clearly see the large cyst in my left ovary. I opted for total hysterectomy good job as my right was covered in tiny ones . I was lucky they where all benign.

My husband's oncologist said cancers like to hide and can kill before anyone has any symptoms. My husband's grade 4 malignant melanoma appeared over night . And we knew he wouldn't live 5 years he lived 3. He had 6 tumours when he was terminal but it took a month for them to be seen and only because they used a stronger dye than normal for them to show .

Your friend and her husband may have known he had cancer and choose not to tell anyone. When we had my husband's diagnosis and he wouldn't live . He didn't want anyone to know so only me and the children knew he was dieing . As in his words he didn't want to be treated as a dead man walking and wanted to live a normal life .He really didn't want to tell people when he was terminal but I told him he must . Those people who treated him differently he cut them cut out of our lives . I had to threaten my parents if they differently he wouldn't see them . His own mother just said oh. And after he died told people she had no son or grandchildren.

While this is a shock to you Yogin they may have been expecting it. No one knows how they will handle with a cancer diagnosis until they get it plus the grade if a 4 or 5 it's unlikely you will live 5 years . Grade 3 50/50 chance . 1 or 2 with treatment then you could live a full life . Plus it depends where the cancer is . Some cancer's kill no matter the grade . Unfortunately it's now 1 in 2 people will get cancer it was 1 in 3 in 2001 . That's why it's so important still to check you bodies and have mammograms ,smears and bowel screening for woman . Prostate and bowel screening for men checking their testicles . But men must check their chests as men can get breast cancer and it kills men quicker .

When my husband died 2,000 people died a month from skin cancer. I think it's more now . Winter sun is as dangerous as summer sun .

Babs just read what you wrote after I wrote my ramble . My brother knows someone who tests the bowel cancer samples . They start when you are 60 and sent every 2 years . They only get 60% of the samples sent returned . So 40% of people are playing with their lives . It's so simple to do . At least it's easier to do now than when I was 60 and it was cardboard and you couldn't send it back until you had done 3 samples . At least it's only one now and in a bottle and tiny amount to fill the grooves on the stick.

Congratulations to Mr S on his bowls shield . Needed to end on a happy note .

Morning all

Thanks very much for your comments re roofer and my friend's husband passing.

They emigrated to Spain about 5yrs ago, but fly back on a regular basis, so we would met up for lunch or a night out. He started an observatory and even had Nasa on his books, they were doing really well. So sad! Also my park friend was given just 48hrs to live, so his family are by his side now.

Very pleased with my roof, the new guy was excellent, polite and friendly. He arrived at 8am and didn't fiish till 4pm. I had to leave him to it as it was my DD birthday and we were going out for lunch, had a lovely time by the seaside, took Joey as he was not enjoying the workman in our garden. The restaurant was excellent, the first thing they did was ask if Joey would like some water, then asked if he'd like a sausage! brought up a big dish of sauage for him , so I was won over with that. Food was excellent too.

Babs Nice to read your DH is enjoying your GS birthday celebrations. Good luck with everything at the hospital.

Smiles well done to Mr.S with winning the trophy.

Whiff & Allsorts good to read your posts and that you are both well.