Son wishes us an isolated, lonely old age

I m not even going for the racist idea but the fact that the mother chose to give an adult man advice about dating…
Seriously !!!!
As I’ve said before and no one’s come back about it
Why would he wait four whole months before he sent a nasty text IF it was in connection to the given advice about this possible ‘foreign’ girlfriend

What is the world coming too when it's wrong for a parent to give advice to their adult child .

It IS racist!

Stereotyping a behaviour just because of her race - what couldn't be more racist?

Oh the denial.

Little Annie,

Shocking absolutely.

So saddened.

Enjoy your years and travel, dine out and change your will.

Well I don't think the OP was being racist and no one knows if her son thought she was do they.

If I tell someone I'm thinking about doing something it's because I want some feedback.

I am so sad for you, what a horrible thing to say. I am estranged from my daughter and not allowed contact with my granddaughters and my daughter has also said some very cruel things to me. The pain is unbearable. And with Christmas coming, I am really struggling to cope.
I am also really sad to see this happening to so many grandparents - I didn't realise how common it is. Can I ask anyone's advice about whether I should send my granddaughters a Christmas present any way? I really want them to know I am still there for them and love them.

Hello Debbie. You must do what you feel is right. We never sent our GC gifts once estranged but for several years sent them cards for their Birthdays and at Christmas but stopped a couple of years ago.

We've been estranged from our youngest son and only GC for almost 13 years, it will be the 13th anniversary on Christmas Eve so I totally understand how terrible the pain is, as will other EP's here.

It is more common than we realise. Like so many of us, you probably thought it was just you but you're not alone and there is some comfort in that.

There's a support thread on this forum which you may like to take a look at .

Hithere

It IS racist!

Stereotyping a behaviour just because of her race - what couldn't be more racist?

Oh the denial.

Yes denial. No one wants to acknowledge racism. You get told you are too sensitive, nothing offensive meant etc. Funny how I don't misinterpret things when I'm alone or with white friends but suddenly I misinterpret things when with my non white husband. Strange isn't it.

I wonder why he told you that she was Asian and why you repeated it here.

Children say the nastiest things.
However, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. He will come round and so should you. He is a grown man. Allow him to choose his own partner.
May I add, without sounding racist or prejudiced, Asian women make excellent wives

I wonder why he waited 4 months to wish you ill !!!!

Thankyou Smileless2012.. iI will take a look at the support thread.

Smileless2012

What is the world coming too when it's wrong for a parent to give advice to their adult child .

I didn’t say it was wrong Smileless but very unusual to give an adult son advice about dating that he HADNT asked for
I think you ve twisted my post a bit there

Of course if I m asked for advice its good to give what I believe or think however now as an old gal it’s more likely me asking advice off my grown up kids 🤣

If he’d have said mum I m thinking of dating an Asian girl what do you think ? But he didn’t did he ? he got a bit of a lecture about the posters concerns and negatives to look out for and obviously took it to heart Doesn’t excuse his nasty post to her but maybe explains it

What you see as a lecture, I see as advice BlueBelle. Focusing on whether or not the OP was being racist IMO, detracts from the cruel message sent by her son which for me isn't explained by assuming he believed her response was racist.

It's a horrible thing to wish on anyone.

Oh course it is a nasty thing to say Smileless I m certainly not arguing with you I m not at all sure racism does comes in to it but I think interference does however well meant if he asked for her advice that’s fine , if not it was probably unwanted

But I ll say it again I bet a pound to a penny his reaction would NOT come 4 months later

If he’d have said mum I m thinking of dating an Asian girl what do you think
That sentence in itself just sounds odd to me.
Did he mean he'd met a girl from Asia (it's a large Continent) and was thinking of asking her out? She might well have said No anyway.
Or was he on a dating site where men can link up with women from other countries?

Best to say you would look forward to meeting her but too late now.

As I posted earlier BlueBelle if I tell someone I'm thinking about doing something, it's because I'm looking for some feedback or advice or an opinion.

The OP has told us the message came months later so I see no reason to think otherwise.

BlueBelle

I m not even going for the racist idea but the fact that the mother chose to give an adult man advice about dating…
Seriously !!!!
As I’ve said before and no one’s come back about it
Why would he wait four whole months before he sent a nasty text IF it was in connection to the given advice about this possible ‘foreign’ girlfriend

Indeed.

Adult men do not need unasked dating advice.

Mum was wrong noting background and 'foreign born' IMO.

As I’ve said before and no one’s come back about it

I did 🙂

Smileless2012

If I tell someone I'm thinking about doing something it's because I want some feedback.

And why did he have to point out that the woman was Asian.
Why not just say I’ve met a woman 🤷‍♀️

No idea petra but he did, so I see no reason why Gooi should be criticised for saying so in her OP and for accusations that she's racist.

Littleannie

On Mother's Day a few years ago my son sent me a text which read " Why don't you die Mother. The sooner you are dead the better as nobody will miss you". So I know how you feel Gooi2026. Change your will and ignore him, it's his loss. Enjoy your life.

That is just so sad to read.

Smileless2012

No idea petra but he did, so I see no reason why Gooi should be criticised for saying so in her OP and for accusations that she's racist.

If you don't want people thinking you're racist don't say something about an Asian woman you wouldn't say about a white woman.

How do you know she wouldn't have given the same advice if the women was white and from another country theworriedwell?

You don't do you.