Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

Sorry...I think I screwed up with the posting....I am pretty bad at life I am so so sad.

Hello Aniclum and a very warm welcome to the support thread.

Reaching 50 is a big milestone and is often a time when we reflect on our lives and how they've turned out, especially when they haven't gone as we'd hoped.

I am pretty bad at life please don't think you are. When our relationships with our children go awry, we of course look to ourselves to see if we're to blame, to see where we went wrong. Mistakes will have been made but we need to keep those in perspective because how we parented isn't always the reason why our relationships with our adult children break down.

Don't worry about how you posted, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're here and are not alone so post again and if you're able to give a little more detail, we may be able to give more helpful advice and support .

Morning everyone.

The holiday park where our lodge is doesn't allow fireworks Whiff but even so, little Ziggy was disturbed by the loud bangs we could hear which because they were so loud, were further away than we first thought.

I agree with banning the sale of fireworks unless they're for organised displays, which should require permission with consideration for live stock near by and should only be allowed on November 5th and New Year's Eve.

You're very organised Whiff, getting all your Christmas cards written already.

I'm just not feeling it this year. Despite having loved going around a couple of garden centres with beautiful Christmas displays, and buying an 'over the table' frame to decorate in case we don't have a tree, I just don't want to bother.

I said to Mr. S. a couple of weeks ago about not bothering but would that be worse because you can't get away from it can you. He was really surprised because he loves the run up to Christmas when the decorations are up, as I've always done but I'm just tired of it being just the two of us when everyone we talk too has family, especially GC to celebrate with.

It's not as if we wont see anyone, we have our lovely neighbours coming on Boxing day and other friends to see, but it's just not the same. Not that we know what it's like because we never did see our GC at Christmas which I suppose disproves the saying that 'you can't miss what you never had'.

We get regular email updates from the pet insurer we have for Ziggy. Apparently at 6 months, which he'll be on the 15th of this month, he'll be a teenager and we're already seeing some of the changes they've told us about.

No longer so willing to respond to verbal commands and a return to nipping and biting so I've got a new song for him. The first was 'Oh Ziggy you're so fine, don't you know you blow my mind hey Ziggy; hey Ziggy'.

I still sing that to him but have added to my repertoire 'I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby' . Good job he's not human or he'd be estranging me in a few years.

Just a quick on as I have move it or lose it class so need to leave soon .
Smiles don't give up on Christmas put up your decorations. Mr S loves Christmas. Mr W Christmas was his favourite time of the year his last Christmas was 2003. And still put the tree up on the 1st like we always did decorations and the tree cover in ornaments and white lights. Once its done I see him with that stupid grin on his face. The last meal he eat in full was his Christmas lunch 2003 cooked by the kids . After that he went down hill fast.

I do get teary on Christmas eve but never Christmas day I made that promise to him I would never cry Christmas day as it was his day. He cooked Christmas dinner as I had total hysterectomy 2 weeks before Christmas and was in hospital for 5 days
So he did it with add from the kids. It became a tradition. He cooked his last Christmas lunch 2002.

Do it for the man who is your whole world. I still do it for Mr W but I also do like Christmas. If I didn't do what I do then my daily grief doesn't mean anything. Love never dies for the person who is your whole world.

I echo what Whiff has said Smileless. It’s awful this time of year isn’t it as everything is brought into sharp focus and whatever the rights and wrongs, those of us here on the whole genuinely love and miss our EC which is why it’s so painful. I’ve been having sad thoughts too. But as we know only too well, we can only find peace by accepting what is.
I’ve booked a couple of festive treats to cheer us up - a live performance of the RBO shown in cinemas of The Nutcracker (saves travelling!) and a Christmas poetry and carols event in a local arts centre. We have family coming for Christmas Day but I also remember how much we enjoyed the ‘lock down’ Christmas when it was just the 2 of us - the bliss of absolutely no stress!!!
So my advice? Get out in the beautiful surroundings of your lodge with your lovely dogs, savour the moments with Mr S, and plan a lovely Boxing Day for yourselves and your friends. They will no doubt be so thankful to be cooked and cared for, and to be able to just chill!