I never thought I'd want to write anything in this E forum, but here goes.
It just seems like AC are very quick to label their parents as toxic or "not worthy" of more of their time (sometimes no time at all for half a year at a time).
There's such infrequent contact with my older two DSs that at times, it feels like estrangement. One of them told me a while back that I say things that get on his nerves. The example he gave was completely innocuous and not intentional at all.
I guess my point is --- it takes a whole lot of self esteem to realize that I do not deserve to be treated harshly by my ACs. I've been in counseling a year now...and that has helped immensely to build my self esteem.
I think for anyone dealing with estrangement, there must be an emphasis on "What's good for me right now?"
I go to yoga and spend time with people who like/love me.
I raised my kids to forgive and to be tolerant...but I think their SOs have influenced them in negative ways.
I'm letting go of my hopes and dreams for harmony with them, and that's incredibly sad. But! I know that these ACs of mine are self-centered and intolerant. And I know that I deserve better.
It's just sad. If someone had told me when I was raising them...and mind you, I carried the load in raising all 3 (divorced & single mom to the oldest 2), if I'd known this was my future, what would I have done different? I honestly know that I still would have taken the best care of them under hard circumstances.
Parenthood isn't for everyone. My path was harder than most. I did my best.
I'm just trying to live my best life.
Thanks to whoever out there reads this stuff.
