So how old do you think I am? (Don’t answer that!)

It was when I became REALLY old (over 80) I began to panic about losing my independence.
I need to be able to go out and about without offers of lifts, or using a stick or a zimmer etc.
Now that the dark evenings are coming I've just bought a head torch to wear when I walk to evening meetings etc. To prevent tripping on rough pavements etc.
Maybe I shouldn't care so much about independence.

Some years ago, when I was about 48, a woman whose husband I'd looked after (they were in their 80s) asked me if I'd retired from work!

A couple of times recently in cafes the staff have offered to carry my tray to the table for me. I usually give them a wry smile and say ‘I’m just about capable of doing it’. Then I walk off at a fair lick. I suppose I should be grateful but I'm not. I’m 72.

I am neither 74 nor a nervous driver, if I were I would not tackle the M25 M1 M6 M4 etc with equanimity!
I still maintain it is tactless if not ageist to be "congratulated " on "still driving"
It's like expressing wonderment at a woman who is a fighter pilot or an HGV driver.
Bah humbug!

I am at the other end of the spectrum. I am wearing very well, but equally dislike someone exclaiming at how young looking, fit etc etc I am. It suggests people have fixed and very limited stereotypes of what someone at any given age looks like, when in fact the older people get the more varied they are in everything from appearance to health to living circumstances.

Why cannot people just take us for what we are and stop putting age labels on us and then defining us by them.

The Instiyof Advanced Motorists’ report shows that 8% of drivers are over 70 and are involved in 4% of injury crashes. In contrast the 15% of drivers in their teens and twenties are involved in 34% of injury crashes.
Worth pointing out Maw

I am 75 and regularly drive on the M25, M4, M1 and M40 - and A34.

I will be driving A34, M40, M1 and A1(M) next weekend when I take DDiL and DGC back north after spending half term with us. 200 miles in all.

Never judge a book by it's cover!
There is a local woman age about 70, who I vaguely know, who is very petite and slim. She obviously takes care with her appearance & goes regularly to the local gym/pool. She looks 'good' for her age! But she is a miserable "old" woman. Her attitudes are negative and when I bump into her in the street and she starts to chat I feel as if I am whisked back to the 1950s..she is such a bigot!

Good stat MiceElf but what bugged me was this faint praise for “still driving” . I dare say the day will come when I feel my eyesight or reactions are not all they should be and I hope I will have the sense to open an account with a mini cab firm, but that day is not now.
?????????

Keep on driving MAW age is not a number but an attitude of mind. ignore the person who judged you by her mother's standard ..she could have been "old" at 40!

Absolutely PECS how else would I get about?

I might reconsider in 10 years when I hit 80, but at the moment find it odd o be lumped into a group who are somehow regarded as unusual!

A friend's mother was 55 when decimal coinage came in. She decided she was too old to understand it and refused to use it. She never handled money again. Her husband had to do all the shopping, go with her when she bought clothes or anything personal, handle all the bill paying and everything else. She lived another 30 years.

Good grief

Some of the comments and actions such as offering to assist with a tray may be a bit patronising but they generally stem from an attempt to be pleasant or helpful. I'd rather have that experience than crass rudeness or being knocked over in some self absorbed rush. Sometimes I think its nicer to be a bit gracious and perhaps a role model as an active, interesting and courteous older person rather than a snappy old grump. I'm working on my Antipodean Miss Marple impersonation.

Is it sad that when I was knocked over by a car reversing down a one way street, I was pleased to be reported as almost 20 years younger in the news report. Actually I was quite badly hurt and felt 20 years older for several weeks!

Apricity I agree. I always accept offers of help to carry trays etc.
Ever since the time I was in a rather smart coffee shop, carrying a tray of several cups of tea and scones, and managed to trip over DGD’s long trailing scarf which I had forgotten I was carrying at the same time
Luckily the only injury was to my pride. The lovely staff rushed over, picked me up, picked up the broken crockery, made some more tea, escorted me to our table and then carried the replacement cups of tea over for me.
I accept any offers of help as gracefully as I can, in the spirit in which they are offered.
I don’t see them as patronising.
Quite different from Maw’s experience.

It was when I became REALLY old (over 80) I began to panic about losing my independence
Fennel; Relax! Wait until you are REALLY, REALLY old (over 90). Everyone automatically assumes you're senile, so smile and take advantage of it whilst you can. Just keep a look-out for men in white coats!
As you all know, I'm 91 and still a competent driver, (they've just renewed my licence for a further 3 years), but I"ll know when to surrender it, if the law doesn't get me first; I'll be devastated to lose it of course, but my life and the lives of others are far more important. I keep thinking of that slogan on the reg. plate of a hearse I followed recently; "Stay Alert; Stay Alive" Wise words!

As we have a 5 children, I have always driven a big car while dh has had a variety of small, often sports cars. I have lost count of the number of men who find it necessary to help me park - standing behind me flapping their arms around. So, it isn't just an age thing! The worst instance was one older man who said my husband shouldn't let me drive his big car!

I love driving, like to think that I am a good driver and I intend to continue as long as possible.

I was asked by the BS to produce ID and the girl was gobsmacked when I produced my driving licence and even said she did not think I still had one. I was 74 a few weeks ago, I am 75 now. Maybe she thought I should have stopped driving when I retired.

MOnica, your decimal currency story made me smile. I was volunteer at WRVS when the change happened and, in those days we sold formula milk, at a reduced price. The packs cost 1/6d but I was the only person in the whole place who could work out the cost of more than one packet (7.5p each) and be guaranteed to give the right change. I have no idea how the staff coped on the days I wasn't there!

I’m 76 Drive everyday everywhere
Don’t feel old at all No aches & pains No medication needed
Then I look in the mirror & get a reality check !

Something said in M&S to my OH who was looking for an admittedly "previous season" denim shirt. The young man told him to go and look in Help the Aged!

Gonegirl,I am the same age as you, and feel much younger,I am pretty healthy, dont act my age ( probably childish) however I like the "perks" of getting on, people help, give up seats, help carry luggage up and down escalators, on and off trains etc, I am glad I can still travel far and wide "at my age"

I'm over 80 and am beginning to look it, I think. One thing about ageing that I appreciate is the kindness of strangers.
People wherever I go are invariably nice to me. Perhaps I look really pathetic!
I still drive and have no intention of giving it up.

I am 59 my disabled brother 76. At a recent hospital appointment a Lovely Lady helped me push him in his wheelchair but then asked him if I was his Mother