Patronised!

Simple response in many of these situations should have been 'why' (which I never think of until later myself).

Think positively-better to smile and know you can do those things than have to ask because you can’t, and no advice was offered.

I feel I must draw attention to the fact that back on page 2, Scribbles, the OP conceded that she had been a bit hasty with her words, which our comments had obviously made her think about.

It looks like many later contributors haven’t read her last post.

I applaud Scribbles for admitting she had been a little sharp, and she doesn’t deserve some of the rather unkind remarks that have been posted subsequently.

I think this young woman did a good job. Having worked in retail from age 14 and tried to be really helpful to everyone I served, even running from counter to counter to serve the same person on a memorable occasion because we were short staffed..., I would have been crushed to have caused the sort of reaction described by the OP. Now in my over 70's and, like so many people, have just come through the worst 2 years of my life, I welcome kindnesses when shopping because I have lost most of my confidence as a result and would not have taken offence by this young girl's efforts...but we are all different.

The girl probably just started off trying to help but came a cropper. Your response was just as bad as hers. Why nit just realise she was covering all bases to be helpful in case you didn't/couldn't access the Internet. Had she just handed you the note without any mention of needing help you probably would have critised her for not saying you may need help. Goodness, all that upset over a pair of shoes

I usually read all the posts before commenting but failed to do so this time. I am sorry there has been unkindness in some of the responses.

I imagine some young people feel patronised by older people at times. If this worker had told another older person to go on the internet themselves they may well have been on here ranting about the younger generation making assumptions that they could use/afford technology. I’m sure all the energy expended by the upset/offended/patronised could be put to better use

I was a software analyst and designer. OK my knowledge of hardware is not up to date, but I still know more than most. The worst patronising offenders are computer salespeople.
If I am being patronised I take great delight in asking them technical questions that they probably don’t know the answers to. - Just for fun!!

Awww She probably didnt mean to upset you and was actually trying to be helpful...lots of people over a certain age arent able to use computers ...I'm mot fantastic in My mid 50s but I get by.

I think most of us, if honest, have snapped or given a curt response when one really isn't needed!
I think there's been assumptions on both sides....it's possible the assistant was younger than she looked, she could have been new to the job and 'trying too hard' etc!
On her side...she's assumed older people aren't technically minded.

Personally, my belief is there's enough rudeness in the world without me adding to it!

So often on line we read of the younger generation not caring.
This shop assistant did care and went the extra to help you. She thought you presented to her as incapable. You don’t feel you need support but this was what she saw.
After your approach, I do hope you haven’t drained her caring gene. It’s comments from self centred ‘oldies’ that give the older generation (us) the reputation of being grumpy and rude.
Perhaps some self reflection may mellow this ‘I’m still young’ approach’. To her you are old.

I appreciate that her words would have rankled but, in her defence, she was actually only trying to be helpful. Yes, she could have expressed herself differently but then so could have you.

Reminds me of last weeks Big Senior Moment.
Visiting electrician on hearing my phone go WuffWuff. When he asked I explained that it was just my phone telling me I’d got a text. Asking why I didn’t answer it, I had to explain that I knew it was just a boring text and if it had been from anyone in my phone directory then I didn’t get a WuffWuff but a different tone.
A few minutes later and my phone went Miow Miow and it was a text from a friend.
Oh I so love that feeling of superiority when a 19 yr old asks me, a 76 year old. How to get his phone to work better.

I’m sorry but you seemed to be very rude to the helpful sales assistant.

Poor sales girl! What a shame for her.
She can't win out of this. If she was being nice she is in trouble for patronising you or if it was a script she's following its not her fault anyway.
I wonder if someone holds open a door for you do you say I've been opening doors for myself since before you were born.

Another car story, we were looking for a new car, found one and the salesman came over. I asked all the questions regarding money and he answered them all to my OH. OH kept glancing at me and could tell I was coming to the boil nicely. I asked one more question and as the salesman started answering, once again to my OH I turned and walked away. My OH just grinned and said "my wife does the money, you have just losted a sale". The salesman was still doing fish impressions as we drove away.

That poor girl it’s incidents like that that give us older folk a bad reputation. She’s young and I’m pretty sure did not mean to upset you. I would have laughed it off and said I may be a lot older than you but I am tech savvy and have the latest iPhone, then thanked her again for her help. There are far worse things to worry about than this surely.

I'm almost eighty two, and an acquaintance of mine said 'you're doing well, being on the internet at your age'!

In our area to get a blood test you need to book so we send patients a link via their mobile. I always ask the older patients if they have access to the internet, if not I can give them a phone number but I never assume. I am 70 myself and very tech savvy

She wouldn’t have meant anything by it. I’m conscious I’m becoming more sensitive to things like that too. Just called getting older I suppose.

Just forget it. She will have done, and enjoy your shoes.

How mean of you to be so horrid to her- your attitude will have done nothing to enhance her opinion of grumpy old women nor will it encourage her to be helpful to anyone else. Did you behviour make you feel better about yourself ? I doubt it. Thank about maybe aplogising to her for your horrid behaviour !

The poor girl assistant was just trying to be helpful to you. Just a polite ‘thank you, but I am able to do that when I get home on my computer’. I think an apology wouldn’t go amiss!!

Calendargirl

I feel I must draw attention to the fact that back on page 2, Scribbles, the OP conceded that she had been a bit hasty with her words, which our comments had obviously made her think about.

It looks like many later contributors haven’t read her last post.

I applaud Scribbles for admitting she had been a little sharp, and she doesn’t deserve some of the rather unkind remarks that have been posted subsequently.

Agreed

It's interesting that many of those accusing Scribbles of being rude don't appear to have had the manners to read the thread before commenting.

Totally over the top in your reply I’m afraid, Scribbles.

Obviously, no sense of humour.

Indeed it is screening for signs of dementia but there are more tactful ways of posing the question,