Feeding the grandkids. Man cannot live on toast (and cocopops) alone!

Ealdemodor

Alis52
Surely, when you have guests of any age in your house, you would want them to be happy and relaxed, and enjoy themselves.
Most people have dislikes, it is not about being silly, as you put it.

exactly.
supposing you had to stay with a family in a remote part of east Asia. and they were tutting and shaking their heads because you were being so fussy as to turn your nose up at delicious roasted crickets, a delicacy they prepared specially for you.

Yammy

greenlady102

Yammy

greenlady102

Yammy

I have the same problem with one set of GC. One lives on peanut butter and choc chip ice cream and will starve all day until someone gives in. not me I might add. The sibling was like this but now tries what they think is," grown-up food," steak, duck, broccoli, etc.
The one from the other family who attended nursery from a very young age just says I'll try and if I don't like please may I leave it.,I feel this is alright and they have quite a varied diet.

I think we see this from the "stressed adult" side of things but what about the "stressed child"?
You say "until someone gives in, not me I might add" as though this is a good thing.....IMO there shouldn't be "giving in" because it shouldn't be any kind of clash.

I don't give in because I never have to. I keep clear of all family issues be it food, bedtime or computers. My family know this and know it is their children and their problems and we do not interfere. I should have explained.
My grandmothers never interfered when I was a child my mother had sole control and I was allowed to often eat with an Italian relation who lived next door. If I had to stay at their house my grans asked what time was bedtime and I realised I went to bed then .
Mixed messages from different grans and parents can only cause confusion and make the child even more upset or manipulative which refusing food can be. My grandchild is fed when their parents feel they should be. They lay down the rules and I comply with them even when there were sleepovers and I would probably have disagreed with their decision.

what a lovely Gran you must be

Sarcasm never becomes anyone.

That was absolutely not intended for sarcasm but as a compliment.

Same problem here....so many yukky foods he won't eat, too many things that are BAD for him, lots that make him feel nauseous. He is 33, when do they start to get better?

Hi...have you thought about planning a cooking session for your grandson and ask him to name all the things he likes. You can then plan to make something he likes and because he's helped make it then he may be more receptive to eating it

My son existed on milk, yogurt, bananas and mandarin oranges. I took him to the doctor in despair. She said ‘how many 20 year olds do you know who only eat yogurt, bananas and oranges’? I said ‘none’. She said ‘well give him what he wants’.

My boy was 47 years old yesterday and eats a good variety of food now. ?

When I fostered children I only ever cooked one evening meal which we all ate around the table. I made sure it was a nutritionally balanced meal and there was nothing except fresh fruit or yoghurt on offer. With often up to 7 children at a time I didn't have time to prepare special food for each unless there was an allergy. I found the children often didn't eat much for the first day or two but then started to clear their plate and have 'seconds'
Serve small portions and eliminate junk food would be my advice on this. HTH xx

sazz1

When I fostered children I only ever cooked one evening meal which we all ate around the table. I made sure it was a nutritionally balanced meal and there was nothing except fresh fruit or yoghurt on offer. With often up to 7 children at a time I didn't have time to prepare special food for each unless there was an allergy. I found the children often didn't eat much for the first day or two but then started to clear their plate and have 'seconds'
Serve small portions and eliminate junk food would be my advice on this. HTH xx

but did you ever have a child with a real, genuine food problem?

When I was young I had a friend who would only eat mashed bannanas. Her Mum took her to GP he advised leave her alone she will come round in her own time once pressure is taken away. She did.

Green lady 2 , Thank you and I apologise if I misunderstood.
We do keep out of our families handling of their children and they appreciate that. I try to be like my mother was with me there if I called for help but not intrusive. My husband practises this in most things because his mother was the complete opposite and I found it very difficult at first coming from the family I did.
I do feel sorry for you and your daughter's problems I can empathise with you one of mine had a life-threatening illness but not to do with food.

I also get stressed out deciding what to give my 4 DGCs.But after being made to eat foods as child and being physically sick decided from start that I would never force food on them or blackmail them with no dinner/no desert.To make life easier I do try stick to the limited foods they all eat. 1 GS eats no veg 2Gds eat brocolli and 2Gds baby sweetcorn.I have 2 nibble trays 1 with an assortment cherry tomatoes,cucumber,celery.raw carrot,fresh beetroot,humous,cocktail sausages.At mealtimes they either eat all dinner or choose to add from the healthy nibble plate.The 2 nibble plate has tube yoghurts,mixed seasonal fruits and bun,cake treat each.Couple of GCs prefer to have ice cream/lolly instead of cake.When we have cleared the table I leave the nibble plates on side and before they go home some 3 hrs later, very little left.Not ideal but I know they cannot be hungry.Then the start of 2 GCs lunch boxes 1 ham mini wrap, cucumber,celery, tomato on chicken satay stick.1 GC now dislikes yoghurts,choice breadsticks,fries.popcorn etc,mini snack pack biscuits,fruit.
Then DH wonders why supermarket bill is so high.

greenlady102

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

yep I can imagine and you are wrong, as I said, one of my older siblings would only eat semolina. Thankfully the GP was sensible and said give her what she will eat and my lovely Dad wasn't your Dad and she grew up strong and healthy.
Enough of this giving in and rod for your back nonsense!

Greenlady, i agree entirely. some sense at last.
incidentally, i now know why they continued to manufacture semolina; always wondered, as i never saw anyone anywhere willingly eat it. glad it gave power to your sister.
and wise parents you had. yea, a goodly heritage.
probably why you are so sensible and humane too.

Silvertwigs

Maybe a doggy bag for an hour later to eat up the remaining food he couldn’t or would finish at meat time?

is this serious !
sounds hideous. why punish a person like this. enough to lead to an eating disorder.
i've seen this happen, years ago, and the memory makes me shudder.

Yammy

Green lady 2 , Thank you and I apologise if I misunderstood.
We do keep out of our families handling of their children and they appreciate that. I try to be like my mother was with me there if I called for help but not intrusive. My husband practises this in most things because his mother was the complete opposite and I found it very difficult at first coming from the family I did.
I do feel sorry for you and your daughter's problems I can empathise with you one of mine had a life-threatening illness but not to do with food.

Not a problem

Hi,
I have just found out how to send a personal message. I do profoundly apologise but food is a very emotive issue for children.
I can appreciate your problems and know how they can make a big impact on your life.
I was not being clever when I said we kept out of the children decisions with their own children.
When I first married I had a very dominant MIL and everything that the children did or had wrong was my fault. They both had splints on their hips so no going home until they came off.
Then when the eldest was in late primary I put them to bed with a mild sore throat that turned out to be acute epiglottis and they was given a police escort to get into hospital ICU on Christmas eve, again my fault.
We both decided we would play things like my mother had and keep out of their major family decision.
I do help when asked ,I home school on Skype if needs be.
I'm glad you had a good outcome as I did as well.
I think when you have had major happenings with your children it does make you take a certain stand. Mine being I hope my grand children love me which they appear to just as I suspect you do.
I'll look out for your posts in the future.
Yours Yammy

I can't keep up with my grandchildren. They're 6 and 3 and love nothing better than fresh king prawns with linguine in pesto sauce, chicken satay, squid in batter, Thai green curry with poppadoms ? and homemade pepperoni pizza with mozzarella and mushrooms.

Sometimes I wish they ate beans on toast ?

Many thanks to you all for your supportive comments. Much food for thought! It’s good to know lots you have had similar experiences.
I will definitely try to involve him more with the prep and cooking of things, especially as I grow a lot of veg and fruit so that is a good idea.
I will not let it become an issue that affects his time spent with me as he is a happy healthy child with loving parents and that is the most important thing, in a world where many children are not. I just want to help both him and my daughter and encourage him to try and enjoy trying different things.
He starts full time school in Sept and I know he will grow and change .
Until then I will stock up on the haliborange and malt extract I remember so well ( only joking)!