Limericks - 3

It's one big mix up in the shop
I asked for a juicy lamb chop
But I got a potato
And a rotten tomato, ( American pronunciation!)
That's enough now, I 'm gonna stop!!!

I'm off to meet my sister

It's one big mix up in the shop
I asked for a juicy lamb chop
But I got a potato
And a rotten tomato, (American pronunciation!)
Then the staff all ran off in a strop

The doctor came round after tea

I'm off to meet my sister
She's really very nice

The doctor came round after tea
And found in my bed a large flea

The doctor came round after tea
And found in my bed a large flea
I screamed out loud

The doctor came round after tea
And found in my bed a large flea
I screamed out loud
The Doctor then vowed

The doctor came round after tea
And found in my bed a large flea
I screamed out loud
The Doctor then vowed
He's not get in bed beside me!

I love to have baths nice and hot

I love to have baths nice and hot
Every night at ten on the dot

My figure is not what it was
Too much has been passed through my jaws
I had better cut down
On the lunches in town
Trouble is I haven`t the heart to apply "pause!!

I love to have baths nice and hot
Every night at ten on the dot
Scrub a dub is the word
In places rather absurd

I love to have baths nice and hot
Every night at ten on the dot
Scrub a dub is the word
In places rather absurd
Good job nobody's seen what I got!

The two of us like to go fishing

The two of us like to go fishing
To catch a few trout we are wishing This was a hard one

The two of us like to go fishing
To catch a few trout we are wishing
We each cast a fly

The two of us like to go fishing
To catch a few trout we are wishing
We each cast a fly
Long, straight and high

The two of us like to go fishing
To catch a few trout we are wishing
We each cast a fly
Long, straight and high
Our supper,we hope,we'll be dishing.

I like to go running at night

I like to go running at night
To make sure I'm well out of sight

I like to go running at night
To make sure I'm well out of sight
My lycra's quite trendy

I like to go running at night
To make sure I'm well out of sight
My lycras quite trendy
My legs really bendy

I like to go running at night
To make sure I'm well out of sight
My lycras quite trendy
My legs really bendy
But I don't want to give people a fright

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle
And I’ve heard passers yet start to giggle

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle
And I’ve heard passers by start to giggle

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle
And I’ve heard passers by start to giggle
My boobs dance around

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle
And I’ve heard passers by start to giggle
My boobs dance around
Nearly reaching the ground

You see, jogging makes everything jiggle
And I've heard passers by start to giggle
My boobs dance around
Nearly reaching the ground
And my bum joins in with a wiggle

I'm taking my cat to the vets

I'm taking my cat to the vets
She's the favourite one of pets