LIMERICKS (Apr ‘25)

My Grandma wore long pantaloons
Kept herself regular with prunes

My Grandma wore long pantaloons
Kept herself regular with prunes,
Good thing she could run,

My Grandma wore long pantaloons
Kept herself regular with prunes,
Good thing she could run,
Being caught short's no fun!

My Grandma wore long pantaloons
Kept herself regular with prunes,
Good thing she could run,
Being caught short's no fun!
Especially if you’re on the dunes

I once forgot to wear my bra

I once forgot to wear my bra
Caused mirth when I served in the bar

I once forgot to wear my bra
Caused mirth when I served in the bar
"Feel a bit jiggly?"

I once forgot to wear my bra
Caused mirth when I served in a bar
''Feel a bit jiggly?
Hig-ily-piggly?

I once forgot to wear my bra
Caused mirth when I served in a bar
''Feel a bit jiggly?
Hig-ily-piggly?
Come with me, I can make you a star!"

I wisely told him "No, thanks"

I wisely told him "No, thanks"
I've had enough of your pranks

I wisely told him "No, thanks"
I've had enough of your pranks.
Just buy me some wine

I wisely told him "No, thanks"
I've had enough of your pranks.
Just buy me some wine,
A nice place to dine

I wisely told him "No thanks"
I've had enough of your pranks.
Just buy me some wine,
A nice place to done
Then a good film starring Tom Hanks

He said yes but can I trust him?

He said yes, but can I trust him?
He looks like he goes to the gym,

He said yes, but can I trust him?
He looks like he goes to the gym,
His muscles are rippling

He said yes, but can I trust him?
He looks like he goes to the gym,
His muscles are rippling
No cakes from M. Kipling

He said yes, but can I trust him?
He looks like he goes to the gym,
His muscles are rippling
No cakes from M. Kipling,
And that's how he stays really slim.

I've tried diets so many times,

I’ve tried diets so many times
Rabbit food, no cream, nothing chimes

I’ve tried diets so many times
Rabbit food, no cream, nothing chimes
I'd love to be thinner

I've tried diets so many times
Rabbit food, no cream, nothing chimes
I'd love to be thinner
But need my dinner

I've tried diets so many times
Rabbit food, no cream, nothing chimes
I'd love to be thinner
But need my dinner
Meat and three veg, those were the times!

I’ve reached the age of no return

I've tried diets so many times
Rabbit food, no cream, nothing chimes
I'd love to be thinner
But need my dinner
With good wine, not lemon with limes

I really need more self contol

(Just noticed crazyH just before mine so will go with that)

I've reached the age of no return
so weight won't give me much concern

I've reached the age of no return
so weight won't give me much concern
At least I am healthy

I've reached the age of no return
so weight won't give me much concern
At least I am healthy
But not quite wealthy

I've reached the age of no return
So weight won't give me much concern
At least I am healthy
But not quite wealthy
So I live and let live and learn

I think I'll take up a new class