NEW - "New Limerick Thread II 2016" (following New Limerick Thread

He got a quick trip to the jail,
Behaviour was beyond the pale
They locked him away
For spoiling the day
Despite his loud pleading for bail.

I’ve seen cyclists ride in the nude

I've seen cyclists ride in the nude
Some people think that is quite rude

I've seen cyclists ride in the nude
Some people think that is quite rude
And hard on the bum

I've seen cyclists ride in the nude
Some people think that is quite rude
And hard on the bum
It must get so numb

I’ve seen cyclists ride in the nude
Some people think that is quite rude
And hard on the bum
It must get so numb
They certainly frighten a prude.

A jockey must stay small and slight

A jockey must stay small and slight
He counts and weighs every bite

A jockey must stay small and slight
He counts and weighs every bite
He gets light as a feather

A jockey must stay small and slight
He counts and weighs every bite
He gets light as a feather
Light as the heather

A jockey must stay small and slight
He counts and weighs every bite
He gets light as a feather
Light as the heather
With stirrups pulled up really tight

They say racing's the sport of kings

They say racing's the sport of kings
But anyone can like these things

They say racing's the sport of kings
But anyone can like these things
You place your bets

They say racing’s the sport of kings
But anyone can like these things
You place your bets
Endanger your debts

They say racing's the sport of kings
But anyone can like these things
You place your bets
Endanger your debts
Then wish that you had wings.

I would really love to fly

I would really love to fly
To soar round and round in the sky

I would really love to fly
To soar round and round in the sky
I'd swoop and I'd dive

I would really love to fly
To soar round and round in the sky
I'd swoop and I'd dive
And I'd act like I'm five

I would really love to fly
To soar round and round in the sky
I’d swoop and I’d dive
And I’d act like I’m five
So lovely to be up so high.

Have you seen the man in the moon?

Have you seen the man in the moon?
Did he really come down too soon?

She got away with it for years
But is in prison now, three cheers
She won't be missed at all
She was weird, I recall

Don't know what's happened here, so I'll carry on from SpinDriftCoastal's line -

Have you seen the man in the moon?
Did he really come down too soon?
Is the moon made of cheese?

Have you seen the man in the moon?
Did he really come down too soon?
Is the moon made of cheese?
Such questions as these

Have you seen the man in the moon?
Did he really come down too soon?
Is the moon made of cheese?
Such questions as these
Fry my brain and turn me a loon.

I had a pen pal in Keighley

I had a pen pal in Keighley
Who used to write to me weekly

I had a pen pal in Keighley
Who used to write to me weekly
But got a bit rude

I had a pen pal in Keighley
Who used to write to me weekly
But got a bit rude
He called me his ‘dude’