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Waiting for the call

(32 Posts)
GrandmaRoo Sat 31-Dec-11 14:49:21

Hello everyone, I'm new to this, trying to stay calm and unstressy so I can be in a fit state to help DD when the call finally comes through. Her waters broke - well, started leaking - yesterday afternoon. Since then, 2 visits from the midwife but absolutely nothing else. Today she's done several laps of the local park, been out for lunch, and seen her midwife again. She's a 2-hour drive away, but through central London - goodness knows what that will be like if we leave it til later, with all the New Year celebrations. Her midwife is adamant that we don't need to do anything yet, and so of course I'm calmly agreeing with DD and trying to stay busy.

Just had text to say latest midwife keen to get things moving within 48 hours, so DD is off for reflexology later this afternoon, plus lots of exercises to do. (Reflexology?)

So, when the call comes and we make it through the revellers, any advice for me in the delivery room (with lovely SIL too)? She has a water birth booked, if all is straightforward. I feel very anxious, much more than I ever did with my own four babies, and want so much to support her.

Thanks, everyone.

Carol Sat 31-Dec-11 14:57:39

Advice? Heck no - you sound just like I would in that position - just pace the floor if you want to, have a weep, get hysterical, have a glass of wine, get the baby photos out from when she was born, do all those daft things we do to pass the time, make sure there's petrol in the car and look forward to the most amazing time of your life. Try to enjoy it and keep telling her how well she is doing. Lucky you - what a wonderful experience you're going to have thanks

Annika Sat 31-Dec-11 15:14:47

GrandmaRoo there is not much more that I could add to what Carol has already said.
I think its harder being the mum of a daughter in labour than it ever was than you are giving birth yourself, at least you have some idea of what is going on !!!!!!!! I was a total waste of space when my daughter had her son so try and relax she will need you later on !!!!
Have a brew or wine to help you along but second thoughts not wine if you expect to drive within the next few hours.Best of luck to you boththanks

Ariadne Sat 31-Dec-11 15:54:40

It's harder because you know what's going on, and because our role has always been to "make it better"!

nanachrissy Sat 31-Dec-11 16:18:40

Jump up and down with excitement GrandmaRoo, it is so lovely to see your dd become a mother. Most of all enjoy it! smile

Libradi Sat 31-Dec-11 16:43:46

No advice GrandmaRoo but such an exciting time for you, hope all goes well and that you will be back soon to tell us all about your new GC. My own DD had a little girl just 3 weeks ago so it brings it all back to me.
Happy New Year to you and your familythanks

AnthonyGrumps Sat 31-Dec-11 17:21:56

My advice is to take a back seat and just enjoy being there while letting your SiL be the "main man", but if it seems like he is struggling a bit at any time, offer him the opportunity to take five and regroup. Be the one to wet the flannel for her face, make sure there is a nice cool drink, answer the phone, make cups of tea for the midwife and generally be the happy gopher. I hope you have a wonderful experience. What a lucky lady you are smile

Learnergrandma Sat 31-Dec-11 17:29:31

Thinking of you, GrandmaRoo, and wishing you all the best - looking forward to hearing how it all went smile

Annobel Sat 31-Dec-11 17:32:57

GrandmaRoo , good luck to all. Will this baby be the last of the old year or the first of the new? You are going to have so much fun! thanks wine.

numberplease Sat 31-Dec-11 18:05:29

Best wishes to all.

gracesmum Sat 31-Dec-11 18:17:06

I hope you listened to your instincts and have left already*GrandmaRoo*. Of course that will immediatley put labour on hold, but better that than stressing out in London traffic on New Year's Eve! I found seeing my DD in pain very upsetting even though she was coping brilliantly and I only saw the contractions - it was a strange sensation feeling helpless and while hapy for her that it was all happening, I still wanted the pain to go away! I hope your experience is a happy one - a healthy baby and a healthy mummy being all that really matters - not how Granny is coping with labour!!
Good luck - looking forward to good news!

GrandmaRoo Sat 31-Dec-11 18:26:51

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages and advice. So DD had an hour of reflexology, as apparently there a particular massage point which stimulates the right hormones to get things going. And now she's climbing into a bath containing clary sage, her sister commenting that next she'll be bowing to the moon and turning anti-clockwise. Whatever it takes.....

So anyway, DD is feeling very calm and relaxed and saying we should all get a good night's sleep ready for the morrow! Sensible girl, I will try.....

lydia1 Sat 31-Dec-11 19:01:34

What a wonderful time for you! My best advice would be just to breathe deeply and enjoy the moment! This is such an exciting time, it is easy to overlook your own feelings. You are about to embark in the most wonderful, exciting time of your life, second only to having your own children. Take it all in, and get ready for the glorious mayhem to follow! good luck.

Ariadne Sat 31-Dec-11 20:13:51

lydia1 says it all. Exactly how it is. xxx

glammanana Sat 31-Dec-11 21:13:28

GrandmaRoo what an exciting time for you you will be about to enjoy the most wonderful of experiences,my DGS2 had his birthday to-day I can't believe it is 20yrs since he was born,I have been at the birth of all my DDs children and each was a wonderful beautiful event, enjoy every minute. thanks

GrandmaRoo Sun 01-Jan-12 07:43:42

Well, still here, waiting... Thought I would forego festivities and try to get an early night, then just as I was drifting off I heard the Radio 4 announcer mention a programme at 11.30 about Robert Frost's poem 'Stopping by woods on a snowy evening'. Ooooh goosebumps - what beautifully illustrated book did we buy for this little one? (I know it's hardly a nursery rhyme, but it rolls off the tongue like honey). When the programme finished, the fireworks started - a fitting welcome I thought, now she'll get going. 2.20 a.m. a text from SIL to say contractions had started, but DD going back to sleep. I tried too - ha!

So I'm all ready to go again, showered, hair done, packed, dog walked and minder alerted, chickens stocked up with everything they need, last bit of washing in the tumble dryer. I've taken down the Christmas tree, packed away every decoration and sorted cards into keepers and recycling. I know DD and SIL are fast asleep, and loving them for it. Just enjoying 3rd cup of tea and relaxing. Happy New Year everyone!

supernana Sun 01-Jan-12 11:49:41

GrandmaRoo must be fizzing with a fire-cracker ready to spin into action and delight us with it's magic smile

Carol Sun 01-Jan-12 12:21:10

It's getting exciting GrandmaRoo. I hope things get moving and the new year baby arrives soon x

Libradi Sun 01-Jan-12 13:15:37

Look forward to hearing your good news very soon GrandmaRoo
Happy New Year!

numberplease Sun 01-Jan-12 17:20:22

Nothing yet, GrandmaRoo? My 3rd baby was 45 at 6.30 this morning, and it doesn`t seem 5 minutes since she was born. Happy New Year to you and yours.

Learnergrandma Sun 01-Jan-12 18:42:09

No news from you for a while now, GrandmaRoo - so maybe you're busy elsewhere????

GrandmaRoo Thu 09-Feb-12 10:31:16

Hi everyone. First of all thanks you so much for all your lovely messages around New year, when I was waiting so impatiently. Sorry I dropped off the radar, but things did not go well - I should hurriedly add that I have a beautiful and thriving grandaughter, and my daughter is recovering so I am truly and utterly grateful - but every time I thought of posting, it brought the emotion of that time back. It was not good.

My daughter was incredibly brave and endured pain in a way that awed me. When it was clear that there was to be no straightforward birth, and the anaesthesia failed, and there was so much damage to her physically, and she was losing blood in terrifying quantities she tried to keep calm. She was in such pain she could only just acknowledge her baby, while the midwives were themselves distressed and the doctor so tired to the point of closing himself off to the fear in the room, as he needed to do. There was a long delay in getting her in theatre, with no pain relief. A text I sent to my best friend later used the words brutal and medieval and while everyone did their best, there were moments where the system just failed.

OK so that's off my chest. My DD has been offered wonderful support by the midwives involved and she has come to terms with the birth, accepting that things happened and everyone really did the best they could on the night. She is a very proud and happy Mummy, and she and my wonderful SIL are even talking about next time.

And I need to shout from the rooftops, I love being a grandmother!!!

glassortwo Thu 09-Feb-12 10:50:56

Congratulations on a new Grand Daughter !!!!!!
grandmaroo that was a terrible ordeal, but glad to see the proud parents seem to have put it behind them to be talking of the next time. wine wine wine

gracesmum Thu 09-Feb-12 13:01:41

It is a sobering reminder that no birth should be taken for granted and we can rejoice every time at the miracle of a safe delivery.
I am so glad all is well now and hope that your DD and little DGD have bonded well after such a traumatic start.
How DD and SIL can even consider "next time" is however a mystery to me!!!
thanks and wine to you all!

glammanana Thu 09-Feb-12 13:03:19

grandmaroo How brave was your daughter and welcome to your lovely new DGD I am so pleased that things are now good for them all and that your DD is feeling better and looking forward after such a harrowing delivery.thanks