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Grandparenting

court update

(53 Posts)
tracyb Tue 26-Jan-16 15:44:07

Hi all just an update and a little advise please. The court papers for access to my grandson will be served in 2 weeks time. My DIL has no idea they are coming. I wonder if I should write / text her to forewarn her that I do not want a war, I just want access to my grandson who until last September I was so very close to. She has been fed lies and spite from my ex husband and his wife from who I have been divorced from for 19 years. They have fed these lies to my daughter and son and they have not spoken to me for 4 years. I do not know what these lies are and have never had the opportunity to hear or put my side to them - not that it makes any difference to how I feel about my grand children. Should I forewarn her in the hope she will want to sort things out rather than go to court? Or do I let the court sort out access ( although I know she doesn't have to stick to this either)?
Many thanks for any advice - its so hard to know what to do for the best when I have done nothing wrong.

Yogagirl Fri 11-Mar-16 08:19:45

Well I wish you the best of luck with the courts Tracy GP are very important in a child's life, especially if they were very close, like me. I signed a petition a few months back, to get the law changed, see if you can track it down and sign it, if it was passed, we would have the same rights as fathers have to see their C after divorce.

Like you, I feel deeply sorry for my GD as she has no one in her life, aside from her mother [my D] & her half brother, that are real blood family, fair enough if she had none, but I live 5mins down the rd from her & my other D, her auntie, lives just 15mins away! My GD has never had any contact from her father or his family as when my D fell pregnant he didn't want to know and that's why D came back to live with me, so I could look after her, which I did & then my GD too. My niceD & I worry terribly about how she may be treated by her stepdad & his mother, his a drug addict and she an alcoholic! Not nice people, to put it mildly, they were the driving force behind my D allowing this estrangement, my D wouldn't have done this on her own, we were so close before.

Tracy you have to be careful what you say in court, I put in my statement that I wanted my GD to know our culture as well as her heritage, the Judge repeat this back to me, pointing out the fact that my GS is part Gypsy, as I insinuated that s.i.l's culture wasn't very nice by saying ours is.

Wendysue Fri 11-Mar-16 11:57:27

Best of luck, Tracy! No doubt, some hurtful things will be said. After all, the mom has her POV (point of view) just as you have yours.

Given your overall situation, I suppose you really have nothing to lose. Just please understand that there's no guarantee you'll win or that it will be enforced if you do.

Once again, my heart is with you! And I hope the courts keep the kids' best interests in mind!

Tracy, I don't totally get what that judge said to you about your comment about your culture. Simply saying it's a "nice" one meant SIL's isn't?

Yunno, I totally get your wanting your GD to know your culture, etc. I'm the same way. I also get that this is not necessarily something a GP can decide. But I don't get what that judge was saying, not one little bit. Perhaps I read it wrong?