Feeling inadequate

According to HQ what such posts 'gain' is attention. This is what they said:

"We're just emailing because we've had to delete one of your comments on the 'Feeling inadequate' thread. It mentioned that you thought the post might be a wind-up and we really don't allow members to tr011-hunt on the threads, as per our guidelines:

"If you suspect someone of being a tr011, please don't accuse them publicly on the discussion thread (if you're wrong, you could cause untold hurt; if you're right, you'll merely be giving them just the kind of attention they're after).

"Instead, please report your suspicions to us (either by reporting a post of theirs or by mailing us at [email protected]) and we'll check them out.
Please bear in mind that we'd rather err on the side of being taken in than of accusing a genuine poster who's in need of support of being a tr011."

Hope you understand,"

This may be deleted too, though I've changed the word that can be problematic.

Of course I understood perfectly and realised I should have thought of all that myself.

So no, tigger, except for a sore knee and a sore back, which have nothing to do with GN. Kind of you to care.

No way is it a wind up. Sounds far too genuine.

Suspicious lot!

I think that the other grandparent is pushing it a bit. 7 days a week! Your poor daughter. Maybe she is feeling too vulnerable to tell the woman. Enjoy what you have. He will be there for all of your life.

It is a frequent frustration when an OP " gets us going" and then disappears either because he/she was just seeking back up and has felt aggrieved at less than a 100% "there, there, YANBU" response or perhaps because he/she IS in fact merely trying to trigger an argument a discussion.
I can understand the "going off in a huff" as it is hard to hear a less than entirely sympathetic opinion, but we do need that in our lives, someone to tell us not to to over react, not to be unreasonable and well if you ask"Am I being silly?" , you risk hearing both answers, don't you?
There was a thread ages ago entitled "Does my bum look big in this?"
While DH may give the "right" answer, I would hope a real friend would be HONEST

Bags I'm sure you don't need (((hugs))) from me, but have one anyway.
Old timers on GN know full well there is a history of non-genuine posting on GN.
There is a spectrum ranging from the blindingly obvious 'my DGS won't wear his plimsolls' type to the less immediately apparent 'how can I get my DH to put his slippers away?' sort of thing.
In the latter case, the OP is usually given the benefit of the doubt, at least initially. But the combination of the OP making what many people might consider an odd statement (like the other grandma looking after a 3 week old baby for whole days) combined with the OP's failure to return to the thread to either clarify issues, or thank posters who are supportive, or even to announce that they are flouncing off in a huff, never to return, does tend to tip the balance in favour of a non-genuine post.
Finally, I feel that GNHQ should grow some.
Suggesting that a post may be a wind-up is not in the same league as suggesting someone is a tr**l. 'Erring on the side of caution' and deleting every post that questions an OP's assumptions is going to stifle robust debate.

Ehh, well....it gets us thinking again, so where's the harm, even if it was a non-genuine post? There could be all sorts of reasons why people don't respond to posts.

I'm struggling to understand why 'my DGS won't wear his plimsolls' might be a non-genuine post though.... However strange a post might be, it could well be someone in need of listening ears and support.

I do not really care whether the original post was genuine or not but I do care that bags was accused of unkindness when she simply never is unkind. She is the most honest and logical of GNs (hence my name of logi-bags for her) and she is perfectly entitled to express her views and thoughts on any subject which crops up on the forum.

I do not like personal remarks and especially when they are so undeserved.

Just stick to HQ rules folks. Easier. I should know!
Personally I think they are right
wind-up/tr word no difference

I think HQ's words are spot on.

I agree with both pps. And journos trawl social media for stories too.

I'm hoping, but not too optimistic, that the op has simply gone away to ruminate on the responses she's had.

But even if she is overwhelmed, or busy, she could at least log in quickly to say "thanks". Just as an acknowledgement.

She had the time and energy to post in the first place, after all.

Rowantree Threads about someone's DGS refusing to wear his plimsolls, or the school having unreasonable rules about plimsolls, appear at regular intervals and roughly coincide with half-terms, when mischievous teenagers might be lying around at home with not enough to occupy their minds.

Meant rowan and jane!

I don't want or need moral instruction from you, obi, thank you.

The message Forum has a dynamic that evolves as you post. When someone comes along and makes a post and 'stirs up the nest' a little, people can become irritated.

Has anyone considered that poor old fruitbat is too frightened to respond now?

I have been a member of forums previously where people have been allowed to be horrible to other members (not saying anyone on here has) and it divides the forum into 'us and 'them'.

What struck me was how much fruitbat knew about the other Granny's visits. It made me think someone was playing a game trying to making her feel jealous, and winning by the sound of it !

Why would someone bother to post on the forum if they already knew the answer they wanted to hear? However, if fruitbat really did want to seek other's opinions before formulating her own ideas on the subject, then like jane I am puzzled as to why has it taken over 3 pages and 3 days now for her to NOT reply?

I also received the message from GN though I certainly never accused anyone of being a tr***. It was the first time I had been reprimanded in this way so was taken by surprise and felt a bit affronted.

Why you should think I am thinking about or speaking merely to you ja, when there are 1000's of posters and readers is beyond me.

I wouldn't take it upon myself to respond on behalf of thousands of other posters and lurkers, Obi.
I was speaking for myself, strange as it may seem to you.

Lillie I saw your post and couldn't understand why it had been deleted.
I hope yopu'll stick around. Nil carborundum illegitimi!

I think fruitbat really needs to respond on here girls and sooner rather than later.

GNHQ have to protect the site/business. If posters are put off posting, the site flounders.

Yes jingl, but which posters are put off?
If there is a perception that GN is a) full of non-genuine threads where the OP is secretly having a laugh or b)comments that are trying to help by challenging an OP's ideas are just going to be deleted because they seem not sympathetic enough, then no-one is going to join in any kind of debate or discussion, are they?

You are quite fond of going against the flow and challenging people yourself
#just saying

Please don't anyone leave... I only just got here

People come,
people go;
The stickers are the ones
who go with the flow.

??? being silly in a different way

To get back,in a way, to the original thread, my DH and I are the "other" grandparents, as both DD's in-laws live a long way away. We get on very well with them. They have a different, but just as loving and rewarding relationship, with the children to us, and in some ways are more special as visits are rarer.

Re the post controversy, I think my view is that if you don't want to hear people's true opinions, don't post.