Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Page 5 of 5 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Feeling inadequate

(107 Posts)
Add comment | Report
Fruitbat63 Mon 30-May-16 01:47:58

I'm a first time grandma to a gorgeous baby boy (he's 3 weeks old) during my daughters pregnancy i took her to all her antenatal appointments as her partner had started a new job and didn't want to take the time off. I love all 3 of them dearly and we get on really well. My problem is that I have a chronic illness and I live in a village with a very limited bus service. During the pregnancy we were loaned a car so that I would be able to be with my daughter whenever she needed me. Now I feel that m missing out as the other grandma visits nearly every day!! I get to see hm twice a week! She also has my grandson for full days....am I being silly?

Add comment | Report
Jaxie Thu 02-Jun-16 18:25:49

When we are poorly we often brood, and feel sorry for ourselves, that's natural. I am sure you are loved and wanted - if you were an annoying, selfish old boot you would not have been asked to accompany the expectant mother to ante- natal meetings. Grandmothers often have unequal relationships with their grandchildren, but kids soon suss who is the most fun. When the child is old enough to appreciate you they will do so, regardless of their relationship with the other granny.

Add comment | Report
janeainsworth Thu 02-Jun-16 19:10:42

I don't think it's a good thing to nurture the idea that one grandmother may be favoured over the other, as more than one poster has implied.
After all, we wouldn't have a favourite grandchild.
Would we?

Add comment | Report
jinglbellsfrocks Thu 02-Jun-16 20:05:10

No. That would be just too hard. smile

Add comment | Report
Jalima Thu 02-Jun-16 20:12:42

She also has my grandson for full days
He's three weeks old and paternal granny has him for full days??

Is your daughter unwell or suffering from pnd? I do hope she is coping with the baby. It seems most unusual for a new mum to let a tiny baby be looked after by granny for full days. Is your DD breastfeeding? That would make it very difficult if the other granny has him at her house.

Add comment | Report
Grannyben Thu 02-Jun-16 20:20:37

Just a thought, in the original post Fruitbat did say that she suffers from a chronic illness. Perhaps she has taken a turn for the worst and isn't able to respond at the moment.

Add comment | Report
Penstemmon Thu 02-Jun-16 21:26:43

Be pleased that your DGS has a loving family. I suspect that OP means other gran is at her DDs house all day as a 'help' in these early days.

My mum and MIL took turns to spend the day with me for the first 2 weeks after I had DD1 as I had surgery after delivery so not as mobile /quick as I might have been! DH home at week ends.

Whilst I really looked forward to that first day home alone with my baby I was grateful to Nana and Grandma for working out my care arrangements! They both adored their granddaughter, first for my mum but number 10 grandchild for Grandma! Different relationships developed and the activities each able to do with her but DD loved them both and remembers both with equal affection. Different does not mean one is better. Different is just that...different!

Page 5 of 5 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |