What do you do when you disapprove of your child announcing a pregnancy?

They are the ones who will miss out don't let them put you down anymore . Concentrate on your hubby and enjoy your pregnancy and best wishes for the birth and future with your little one x

Erdos congratulations!

Lilyflower seems to have pretty much summed things up and it's not an uncommon situation. I have a friend in a similar position who is now having counselling to help her stand up to her parents, especially her mother. She too is clever (although only one degree!) and her mother thought she had ADHD when at school. It seems she was bored!

Your are a grown woman. Your parents need you more than you need them. Let them go. You can do without their negativity and bitterness in your life. Enjoy your new baby.

Congratulations erdos on your happy news!

You and your husband are founding your very own new family and fortunately you have local PILs who will be the new DGC's most important other members of your new family.
You have a toxic relationship with scapegoating parents and you need to ask yourself if that is what you want for your child. They are most unlikely to change so you need to be the one who decides how things are going to be in your own little family. If any improvement in the tenor of your lives involves gradually withdrawing from such intense and constant contact with your parents then that is what you must do. You must also cease to seek approval from whence it will not come and this involves a total rethink on your part as well as coming to terms with the results. You are a grown up and are a responsible person and one who is about to become, jointly with your husband, totally responsible for another little person. You will not want the put downs and scapegoating to be extended to your baby!
Time to be tough! If you are able to challenge and change them it would be a wonderful turn around but from what you say it sounds a very unlikely scenario. So - build on all the good things you have and change direction.
Enjoy the preparations for your new arrival and do let us know how things go for your new family.

Erdos, Congratulations! What a blessing! You sound like an exceptional young woman who has overcome life challenges successfully; the same qualities that will make you an excellent mother.
With regard to your parents, sometimes people behave a certain way based on their own shortcomings or experiences. Consider instead that they are misguided through no fault of their own. You mention you had no parental support as a teenager (did you leave home?) Also that you now live in a different country altogether. Is it possible they somehow felt abandoned by you and have been acting on that? Just something to consider.

Whatever the case may be, try not to judge them. You have a wonderful life ahead of you and from your post, you are highly intelligent and well educated. Your parents may come around when their new grandchild is born or choose to continue being who they are. Either way, your life is what you make of it. Keep the lines of communication open and choose to be happy, you deserve it. Wishing you the best with your new baby!

It sounds as if they have always put you down. You are never going to please them so just get on with your life and enjoy it. Congratulations on the expected baby...wonderful

Please enjoy this wonderful happy time in your lives....you are now a little family....the other family you can only tolerate on your terms....lots of very apply times ahead...you 3 really only need each other...good luck

If your Parents have been talking to you like that your whole life I am surprised you have anything to do with them at all. I wouldn't.
You have made your own life now, and a very good and happy one it seems to be. Tell them to ....go away( That's being polite). It is their loss not yours.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Hi there my parents,were distant and pheraps I was an independent awkward child in their eyes,having my children were the best and I made the decision to be a different parent .It was not easy .However you sound very self awAre,I'm.now a grandmother and still trying to be different to my mother.It's their loss however I think I can relate to the hurt.I was puzzled by her selfishness any help was grudgingly given .I would like to wish you all the best for the baby.

However hard it is you may just have to stop worrying about your parents attitude. I am one of 6 children 3 boys and 3 girls. All my life my mother has treated me differently to the others, resented my husband having a decent career when one of my brothers didn't, when my brother and I didn't get wedding invite my mum said that she couldn't understand my brother being left out but in my case it was expected as 'nobody likes you.' I was the only one that didn't get cash on my 40th birthday. Sometimes I have been very hurt but I refused to let her resentment spoil my life. She also told me that my son would end up in borstal and my daughter would be pregnant as a teenager, my daughter was 7 at the time. Both my children went to university!
Embrace the support of your husband and in laws, do not accept the negativity from your parents and sister. The best way you can prove them wrong is to be the brilliant mum you know you will be and be happy.

Well done to you Teresaship for rising above such hurtful treatment and making a success of your life.

erdosreni It is often the case that children who feel rejected by their parents try very hard to shrug off hurtful behaviour and go out of their way to win their approval - usually to no avail. Your parents' treatment of you is, in my opinion, unforgiveable and perhaps you should now consider creating a great deal more distance between you. They do not deserve you.

Many congratulations on your pregnancy and wishing you all the best for the future.

When absentdaughter told me – confidentially – that she was pregnant with her sixth child, I jumped up and down, clapping my hands and grinning like a fool because I knew that was what she wanted. At the same time, I was horribly aware of her precarious financial situation, which I have made some serious sacrifices to mitigate, and, to be truthful, I thought that having a sixth child was, perhaps, not the wisest thing to do. Nevertheless, he (as it turned out) is a joy and delight to all of us now and, anyway, was on the way then. I can't imagine turning my back on my pregnant daughter – or, indeed, my daughter for any reason. I don't own her or her plans and never really have – I just go with what is and I'm glad to do so.

erdosrenyi,

Definitely time to stop seeking their approval. It’s often said that the child becomes the parent. I think it’s time for you to be the parent. Your life sounds like it’s on a good path.

Congratulations on the new baby.

Take care of your own family and learn from your parents mistakes. Contrary to popular belief you don’t owe them anything. And if you don’t take a step back now, it’ll only get worse as they get even older.