Glad I'm NOT a grandparent

Couldn't agree more. I only have one grandchild so far, a beautiful little girl of 2 years 3 months who I adore. I love her with all my heart. Unfortunately I only see her about every 2-3 months as it takes 3 trains and 3 hours to get there.

As for the people saying there are plenty of people on Gransnet who are not grandparents I would say WHY??!!! They should find other more suitable websites. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't join a gay website because I'm not gay, I wouldn't join a men's cricket or football team, because I'm a woman. I don't understand why men are on here either, even if they're grandparents. I thought this website was for women who are grandparents.

No Peaseblossom
Elegran has posted the link above and outlined the GN ethos.

I have one son with four children and another who doesn't want any. Each to their own, I say. I do grandma duties if I want to, but I do it if it's convenient for me... or if it's an emergency of some sort.

I think it's lovely to know that I've left some sort of mark in this world, and that the family line will continue through one of my sons. If I've achieved nothing else, I have done that.

Being grandparents is not up to us, but up to our children. It is not a choice to be grandparents. I like being a grandparent more then being a parent, but you never know that until you become one.

Infact, it's nice to have dogs, cats, whatever . . . and have grandchildren!

Well said Venus that's how I feel too.
There are some pretty awful replies to the OP on here, so doubt she will want to stay around.

Oh dear bionic woman, I think you must have given your children such an unsatisfactory childhood that they have no wish to re create it !

Peaseblossom I am new to GN and am not a grandma, although I would like to be but as my eldest daughter died and my youngest daughter has yet to find Mr Right there is not a lot I can do about it. However, I have found lots of interesting threads and can relate to other members on different issues, even those concerning grandchildren give me an insight to what it's like being a grandma- the ups and downs.I think this site is very suitable for me and can't understand why you want to exclude anyone from joining.

Oh FFS! This thread is getting mad.

I love having grandchildren and get enormous pleasure from being with them - though it was never something I was particularly bothered about until they came along. I do, though, think it's important to have a life outside the family and to have a variety of interests.

Most of my friends have grandchildren and, though we may mention them in passing, we certainly don't go "droning on" about them.

The matter is out of our hands anyway so if your children's decision turns out to be in line with your own preference, whatever that may be, that seems to me to be quite fortunate.

It's everyone's right to decide whether or not to have children and they should not be condemned for that choice. When it comes to grandchildren, the choice is made by someone else but you shouldn't be condemned for your reaction to that choice, whether it is positive or negative. In fact, if you don't have strong maternal feelings, it is probably better to have the courage to remain childless than to submit to pressure and become a mother when you don't want to be. Similarly, if you don't want to be a grandparent, you are lucky if it doesn't happen - for your own sake and for the children you would have grandparented.

Having said that, I think it is rather rude to suggest that grandparents monopolise conversations by droning on about their grandkids. A few, maybe, but most people just talk about them a bit because they are an important part of life. I have noticed that this sort of criticism is usually aimed at women - for instance, mums will be accused of talking about nothing but their children, whereas their husbands can witter on for hours about jobs, cars and so on, without attracting similar criticism.

I wonder whether the reaction of "perhaps they'll change their minds" is prompted more by embarrassment than pity. If you've been talking happily about something and you are then told that it is not part of your listener's life, you would probably feel very awkward and say something to try to defuse the situation. Of course, in the OP's case, it is the last thing she wants to hear, but I imagine it is usually well-meant.

I do consider myself lucky in that both my DDs have children, though I feel sorry for myself when I have to face the fact that 4 out of our 6 DGC live nearly 4,000 miles away. Each one has enriched my life and I am thankful to have 2 DGDs living under our roof. They are a huge part of our lives. I don't expect everyone to want to be a grandparent, and I'm sure that some people have no wish to have any more children in their lives, but I think there has to be tolerance on both sides, between the haves and the have-nots.

Gransnet is not just for grandmothers. Grandfathers and people with no grandchildren, or people with no children, or single people with no possibility or intention of ever HAVING children or grandchildren, are welcome. See www.gransnet.com/info/about

"Gransnet is the busiest social networking site for the over 50s."
and
"while the overwhelming majority of our members are grandmothers, we pride ourselves on our inclusiveness"

OP Don't dis it till you've tried it! Our GC are part of our lives so of course we mention them. If you don't have any interest in a topic why bring it up?

Has it occurred to anyone else that this thread has done what the original poster (who as far as I can see has never posted before or since) wanted it to - set people posting outraged messages about the OP and about people who don't have children or grandchildren, set others defending the OP (and people who don't want children or grandchildren), and set others demanding that only grandmothers should join the hallowed ranks. In short, it sowed discord.

All those who rose to the bait this time could bear that in mind the next time someone posts something obviously aimed at stirring it.

I am glad you enjoyed your time at the zoo Elegran,but can't you see that the 2016 posters on Gransnet are not how they used to be?

Looking at the 100 plus replies, I think eveyone is annoyed with everything.

I don't think you're weird, OP.
I didn't yearn for grandchildren, and I always felt sad for those friends of DD whose mothers would wail at them for not settling down and having babies, or keep hinting that they were longing for g-children, when mostly it was the case that the girls had yet to find the right man to have them with, and were worried enough about their biological clocks ticking away.
I do have two very little grandchildren now, both born on the late side to DD, and I love them very much, but it wouldn't have broken my heart if neither DD had ever wanted any - but it would have broken my heart for the DD who did want them, if for any reason she couldn't have had them.
Other DD has always said she'd rather have dogs!

Really it is a pointless thread. Have them or don't have them. It isn't your choice. You either dote on them or you don't.

However, threads like this do tend to attract loads of comments. Like mine .

Bionic, I get it. You don't want grandchildren and I'm not here to judge you. But it's not OK either, for you to single out grandparents with words like " ...have been droning on about their grandchildren for the last hour ...." or to say "... no, I don'to want hear about your grandchildren". I took exception to your post with good reason, and I don't think I'm being unkind...I'm being honest. This forum provides a safe place for grandparents to brag about the 'next generation' ("..if it gives you pleasure") as you so bluntly pointed out. The tone of your post was disdainful particularly to those of us who are proud, loving grandparents. I participate in many interesting topics on this forum, but I am a loving 'grandma' first and foremost and proud of it. Do not presume to take that away.

Have you noticed how a few threads have been started, then the original poster shrinks away never speaks again and leaves everyone to argue between themselves Is this a ploy ?

bluebelle I haven't noticed that. But what's wrong with giving up on a thread when it becomes boring is no longer interesting, whether you were the OP or someone who posted a response? I do it all the time

Aggie, Me and Shakespeare! Nail on head.

How,about being a mother of 2children one of who is ignored by my mother ,made me wonder .I'm.grandma.now and love my grandson .When he was born I felt a stab of love and sheer joy .I'm not a push the children in front of others,I just fell sad that the op might miss,out on the joy ,yet may be its frustrating to those who would love to be grand parents,and.are at a distance so it's better perhaps ad another poster said ,that feelings,and the children's coincide .To bring s child into the world and then distance it is personally I feel wrong.Having experienced that for my self and my children I had to learn about how to mother my children ,made,a few mistakes .however have kept trying .

Granny knot that's not actually what I meant I do wonder sometimes if someone posts just to be controversial and has no intention of actually engaging or maybe they post don't get the answers they want and disappear
Nothing wrong with getting fed up and moving to so thing else though I agree

I think what I'm trying to say to all you grandparents out there is that there are people like me who are not worried in the slightest that they do not have grandchildren, have plenty of other things to do in retirement and are not selfish/ miserable/ peculiar

And, so what?
It annoys me when people "invent" a premiss to argue against.
All I would say to OP is that it's not all about you. If we choose not to have children, that is our business, if we do and they choose not to have children that is theirs.
Guess what, there are ^plenty of people here and elsewhere who do not give a fig do not care whether you have grandchildren OR NOT.

I think Blue Belle has got it in one.
Has the cat been set among the pigeons? Not from where I'm sitting

I get it now bluebelle.

I'm a simple soul, I very much take things at face value.