Glad I'm NOT a grandparent

Nelliemoser..........Gransnet is the Social networking site for Britains 14 million GRANDPARENTS. There are a lot of other social networking sites to join if you do not have any interest in grandchildren. Older Is Wiser for example plus a lot more.

Gangan If you look at www.gransnet.com/info/about you will see that "Gransnet is the busiest social networking site for the over 50s."
and
"What if I'm not a grandmother?"

"We have a shed for grandads (though we don't insist they stay in there) and lots of topics that are of interest to a wide range of people. So, while the overwhelming majority of our members are grandmothers, we pride ourselves on our inclusiveness."

If the original poster WANTS to join Gransnet, then she will be very welcome, and whatever opinions she cares to share will be listened to and discussed.

If (as it appears) she prefers a grandchild-free site where she will never hear such a thing mentioned, that is her choice.

Which is I think is exactly what I said if you don't want to hear about grandchildren then join something else.

Hi Bionic. I totally understand your views even though I have 2 grandchildren!

Though my kids were 32 and 38 before they decided to become parents. I was 32 when I had twins and remember (still with some irritation) the comments so called friends would make about the fact that I seemed to be thoroughly enjoying life without kids. I swear I think it was jealousy because we were financially stable, holidays every 3 months, eating out and loads of luxuries.

Nowadays it seems the majority of mothers elect to return to work often because they take on huge mortgage etc. So for 5 out of 7 days a week their little darlings are sent to nursery with obligatory help from grandparents because it keeps the astronomical childcare costs down

I love my grandson every bit as much as any other grandparent on here .... But now wonder how I was persuaded to have him 3 afternoons a week! Doesn't sound too much does it ... But I find it exhausting frustrating and a thankless task.

Probably far more frustrating than bringing up ones own children.

I never discussed with either of my kids their plans for starting a family. Yet again my friends who already had several grandchildren, would be constantly asking "no babies yet" with a sigh!!!! My own scenario. How rude they were.

So good luck to you in enjoying your life whether or not grand kids come along. Just be warned .... Childcare is a nightmare. Never again and I've made this fact known to both my adult kids.

And to the poster who said something about "being the favourite nanny" ...... Well words fail me ????????

Well, this OP has certainly sparked some interest! I still think it's a bit odd. To my mind, one of bionicwoman's enthusiasms is about the most boring interest known to man (or woman). I do know train enthusiasts, my eyes have glazed over frequently when they've told me all about them, and they are members of forums for like-minded people with an interest in trains. And good for them.

But why would I ever choose to go onto one of these sites just to announce "I don't want to talk about trains, me", and then explain at great length why not?

But if it's just a way of introducing yourself to the rest of us, then welcome to Gransnet, bionicwoman, and I look forward to hearing more from you (not if it's about trains though ).

princesspamma are they flattish (not completely flat) or heeled?
Actually, I long for some new knee-length boots, the last pair (Clark's) have just given up, the leather is still good but the soles have disintegrated after about 10 years.
I will look online, thank you.

Actually, apart from a thread about dietary requirements, this is the only thread I have been on discussing DGC!

Nice !!
£100 but that is £10 a year if the boots last for 10 years
Just the right heel and half sizes too

I don't think you're weird at all. I have two friends who decided, with their husbands, that they did not want children. Both were devoted teachers who dedicated their working lives to education, just didn't want their own children. I've got seven grandchildren, and another on the way, but if my son or daughter had decided not to have children, or hadn't been able to have them, it wouldn't have bothered me at all, much as I love the ones I have. I do know people who talk of little else but their grandchildren.I know others who, like me, talk about them where and when appropriate ( and this is sometimes to talk about a concern, such as one has currently encountered very unpleasant bullying in her first weeks at secondary school. Sometimes to talk about something that has gone well) but I also talk about books I've read, exhibitions I've been to, restaurants, things in the news, etc. However, being a grandparent is not within our choice and it may or may not be that your children decide they do want children. However things work out, as long as people are happy with the decisions they have made and are not judged or do not judge others whose decisions are different, then no problem.

Jane, I understand what you are saying but my children work and trying to get them all together at the same time is so difficult.

Just recently OH and I said we ought to escape the winter and go abroad next February. We'd love a family holiday with our children and GC. We would rent a villa and asked our children if they'd like to come with the GC. Both said no as they didn't have enough holiday available. I wouldn't mind but the reason one doesn't have any holiday is because two have been planned with her in-laws next year!

I have invited them over to lunch and even when my daughter (the more distant one) does come to collect GC when I have had him for a few days. she spurns the lunch I've made, eats a bread stick, checks her phone for most of the time she is here and then says she has to go. I have half an hour of her company and feel she cannot wait to get away.

I know all too well that time is precious when you are a working parent - I was one too - but I do feel I don't have much of a relationship with one of my children in particular. No animosity, just no warmth from her, or love, no matter how hard I try. We were close as she was growing up.

I've said nothing but I feel very hurt. I cannot cause a rift because I hate bad feeling and I also enjoy having the GC but I feel I might as well be called Baby Sitter, not Granny.

Well here's one Nan whose happy to be asked to help My grandaughter isn't very well today, nothing serious a sore throat bit of a temperature and feeling tired and weepy so I ve just done her paper round for her about 140 houses, takes over an hour and I m now going to have a little nap in front of the Tv zzzzzz

Princesspamma

Wow ! Your's really is the most interesting post I've ever seen on Gransnet !!

That's hard, Day6
I understand about not wanting to cause a rift. I guess you just have to enjoy your time with your DGCs

I don't think it is weird or odd that OP does not want grandchildren although obviously that is not within her control anyway. As a fifty something though I was delighted when my DD announced she was pregnant last year and we have just celebrated my DGD first birthday. My closest friend is looking forward to her first DC being born next year but on our trip to lunch and cinema this week we did not mention our GC at all. Maybe you have been unlucky and have friends who do drone on about their kids and grandkids relentlessly but acquaintances of ours who drone on about all sorts of things don't have grandkids so that is not unique to grandparents. I think it is rude to assume people want kids and no ones business but their own.

We are lucky and live near my daughter who has a child so get to see lots of our DGD and look after her one day a week when my daughter works part time. Her other granny has her one day and she goes to nursery to give her lots of variety. I still work and we travel, have hobbies and are interested in all sorts of things including trains so hope we don't drone on. I usually don't volunteer information about family unless asked.

Each to their own

Bionicwoman was it just a flying visit to put the cat amongst the pigeons to explain how you feel about grandparents attitudes to Non grandparents.
Or will you be joining us for other discussions?
You will be very welcome
why did you choose your GN name.
I still associate The Bionic Woman with Lindsey Wagner.
You could tell us about your interest in trains.
I'm sure many will be interested
A few of the 'grandads' will also be quite happy I'm sure.

BTW your post does read a bit like an article that you would find in one of the Sunday paper supplements
I know you said you were retired.
But just wondered if may be you are a freelance writer.

When my DD announced she was pregnant, my first thought was 'oh no I'm going to be a granny, I'm only 50'. When that baby was born, it was the (second) most wonderful feeling ever. It has been a joy. She is a teenager now and it still feels fantastic. I remember telling a friend at the time, and she said 'oh poor you, I would hate to be a grandmother'. She is now a grandmother of four and totally besotted.

If you are glad you are not a grandparent then that's good as it is your children's choice whether they should become parents, not your choice that you don't want to be a grandmother. . I never thought about being a grandparent, I was too young. When he was born it was the best feeling ever, I have felt like that for the other three, they bring the love with them, so yes we do talk about them to other grandparents but just a small part of the conversation, but a big part of our lives.

Reminder to self: do not drone on about anything, be it grandchildren, dogs, cats, trains, my trips, knitting, refugee crisis or those lovely boots ..... or even Rufus Sewell!

Feel free to drone on about Rufus Sewell as much as you like, even bring him along (I wish)

I am only just catching up with Victoria, another episode to watch before Sunday.
He is just mesmerising!
I've always liked him but even more so now

Drone, drone

I did find it odd that 'bionicwoman' chose to write on this forum about not wanting grandchildren! I'm going to bore her now about mine! My delicious, precious grandson was born in January this year. I knew beforehand that I'd be delighted with him, but I could never have imagined the depth of love I'd feel for him. It's as strong as the love I have for my own children, yet not exactly the same. It is simpler, somehow; without any complications. Just pure, simple love. And what's more, it seems to increase every time I see him (which is once a week, usually!).My grandson is the completely unexpected shining light in my latter years, making me totally happy about being the age I am (62)!

Perhaps the name GRANSNET wasn't enough of a clue, but now that BionicWoman has learned that this forum is for Grandparents or 'would be' grandparents for the most part, BionicWoman may want to take a step back.

Publicly rejecting the notion of Grandchildren for whatever reason, is not a prudent thing to say in a forum that is primarily dedicated to doting grandparents. If Bionic expected her comments to be well received, she's probably come to the wrong place.

I love my Grandchildren sooooo much and spend as much time as I can with them! But I talk about my ukuleles endlessly ??

Good to see such warm, welcoming comments from some posters. What has happened to "Live and let live"? Why shouldn't the OP use this forum if she chooses, but I very much doubt she will after this

Yes the first thing I thought of was why the hell are you on Gransnet?! I have a granddaughter of 2 years 3 months and adore her and I cannot imagine how awful it would be not to have any grandchildren. I cannot pretend to understand your attitude. Surely you must have been maternal to have had children of your own and it is natural for someone to look forward to being a grandparent. I'm just glad my two daughters wanted children and would have been devastated if they hadn't. I'm looking forward to more grandchildren. I certainly couldn't be friends with someone who doesn't want grandchildren because even if I liked them, I would find it impossible not to talk about my granddaughter.