I need a few suggestions please

Did anyone see Virginia Ironside's comment - that no woman over 53,(why not 52 or54?) should wear jeans? I had a good laugh at that. I know that she is an agony aunt, but why does,she think that she can pronounce on what i can wear or not wear? As an active 87 year old woman, I find that jeans are the most comfortable form of netherwear, and they have 4 pockets. I take no notice of fashion as I prefer style and elegance, although I no longer have much occasion to 'dress up'.

Not sure how this post relates to OP ...

Wrong thread I think. There's one about smart trousers.
Personally I think VI is a bit up herself

Oldgoose - I have not read all the threads but get the impression some feel you should be delighted to help out with the DGC two hours a day, five days a week and expect no recompense even though you are not well off (sorry if that is wrong). Of course, your DD should at the very least pay your petrol money. Young parents these days expect far too much in the way of child care and grandparents are often cowed into doing more of it than they wish. We all love our grandchildren but, as others have said, we have already done our share of child rearing and it is now the turn of our children's generation to get on with it. Personally, I make it clear that I am happy to have any grandchild in an emergency but not on a regular basis as I still have a life to lead. I wouldn't accept payment, even petrol money, as I don't need it, but if I did need it I would ask for it. You should do the same. Good luck!

Re the smart trousers (??!!) who cares what Virginia Ironside thinks? Let's all wear our jeans until we are 103.

If it's causing you financial issues I would mention it. Of course it's great to help out but my view is you shouldn't be out of pocket. I didnt expect my mother to help with mine kids for nothing. If you nicely explain the impact it's having on your finances I'm sure she won't be unreasonable.

Just arrived at the first leg of our 500 mile babysit.

I so hate it when I come to a thread and see People saying how rude someone has been, and then I find that the offending post has been deleted. For Goodness sakes GNHQ we csn handle it, honestly I don't need you lot protecting me from bad manners or whatever This GRANSnet not bloody NURSERY net, we are adults we won't die from a bit of aggro

PFFFFT

Shanma, quite a lot of us DO 'mind a bit of aggro' when we have just bared our soul about something, hoping for the support promised in the guidelines. It's equally painful to see others kicked when they're down and in this case the OP has vanished, hurt. I suspect the majority of contributors support GNHQ in withdrawing spiteful posts, albeit too late in this case.

Broadwater I didn't mean it in that way, of course it isn't nice to have People being horrible especially when , as you say someone has bared their soul, and asked for or hoped for support. It isn't nice, it is rude and hurtful. I am NOT condoning that. what I mean is I don't need a BIG BROTHER ( or Sister in the case of GNHQ) deciding for me if I should see something or not.

You may not, but a person who has been attacked in a post may feel a bit better if that post is not allowed to stand.

Shanma, one day you might ask your GN friends for help with something and be deeply upset by some responses. Then you might be glad if 'Big Brother' does all it can do to stand up for you. And all that BB can do is remove the post, or (rarely) ban the member. Perhaps they also contact the member and explain the deletion.

Believe me, I have been at the receiving end of spiteful responses and would have welcomed action from GNHQ. Perhaps they did take action but, like this OP I had stopped reading the thread.

Hello Oldgoose, I'm in a similar position with helping with the grandchildren and its 20 min drive to get there. i've just been imagining myself asking my daughter for petrol money and I think it might lead to awkwardness and me regretting asking however lightheartedly I approached it. You might find it better to leave it!