I too worry about the 'secrecy'.
We have, as most families do, a bit of leniency, but it is the kind 'sanctioned' by parents.
If you have the GCs one day a week, one weekend a month, something like that, then a cake, a TV programme, a slightly late bedtime should be fun & 'okayed' by parents even if they 'pretend' to be shocked. We have a trip tothe local bakery to choose a treat, and wonder if everyone is going to be good enough to be allowed it (including GPs & parents!)
But if you have them several times a week, you can't bend the rules too much or it becomes the norm and is hard for parents. Also you need to be on the same page about which rules can be 'stretched' and which really can't be broken.
An aunt once allowed my 8 year old to watch an 18 film 'because censorship is stupid' and we had anxieties for weeks because he really couldn't process some of the stuff he had seen. I was grateful that he was able to talk about it to us, but that felt so different from maybe sitting with him to watch a PG or 12.