Practical advice

Your poor little GD her anxiety and self asteem appear really low
I don't think there is much you and her mum can do now but I would recommend your daughter(il?) take her to the doctors.
She could benefit from some counselling or something similar.
Her mum can then link up with the school to ensure she's not being pushed beyond her limits but they are also supporting her.
I really hope she comes through.

I have a friend who is a drama teacher and she is brilliant at improving the self esteem of teenage girls. I wonder if you could find one near you. Going to the doctors seems to be making a big thing of it. It might be worth a sideways look at it first.

Could your GD try volunteering for something that interests her, less pressure than looking for a job and would add to her CV.
Many young people suffer from crippling lack of self esteem, it takes courage and self belief to step out of a comfort zone of family, just be there for her build her confidence and reassure her that lots of people feel as she does.

It is tough being young and insecure, but small positive achievements and praise can help

I too think it is OTT to go to the doctor, since your DGD isn't actually ill, but just experiencing the fears and emotions that many adolescents do.
She is listening to the wrong little voices inside her head which are telling her she can't do things. She needs help to hear the ones which will tell her she's just as good as everyone else and can do things like getting a Saturday job.
Neurolinguistic programming helps people to change the way they think about themselves and how they react to situations.
A life coach/counsellor qualified in NLP might be a good move.

I agree kitty definitely NOT a case for a visit to the doctors!

Does she like animals? They are easier to "talk" to than people, although you do have to deal with the people first!

The reason for my question is that boarding kennels/catterys etc are often very glad for a bit of weekend help, and it might suit her better than a shop job where she would be dealing with members of the public. She might be able then to gradually build up her confidence, for example telling Mr & Mrs Bloggs when they come to collect their beloved pet how much she enjoyed walking/cleaning out the litter tray/stroking/grooming of Mr Snuffle Wuffles or Tyson the Yorkshire Terrier!

Arevposters aware that anxiety can be crippling?
And yes anxiety is an illness.
What's the worst that seeing the Dr could do?
She goes and there's nothing 'wrong' alps good.
She goes and they discover that yes there are ways they can help her! Fantastic!
A trip to the Drs regarding MH issues is never a wasted journey.
Are posters even aware of the rate of teen suicide recently?!

I agree a drama group could be good idea. About the Saturday job, could you or her mother find a likely place or just a friendly place and ask in advance whether they will look at her cv and talk to her if she goes in? Even if she gets a courteous 'no, thank you' she'll have begun to break the ice. You or her mother could be in a nearby shop or cafe, just walking through that first door should help her confidence.
Or is their a trusted neighbour who would pay her to walk a dog, wash a car, tidy a garden?

There is nothing in the OP that suggests Bluebelle's DGD is suicidal, or even has mental health issues Bibbity. Everyone is anxious from time to time and this is quite normal.

Are you aware that frivolous visits to GPs are crippling the service and many GPs are near breaking point because their workload is so heavy?
We all have a duty to use the NHS responsibly.

agree Bibbity anxiety can be crippling ,she needs to seek help for it ,also is her home life secure ,do her parents praise her and tell her how capable she is.I have a friend who constantly told her son he was clumsy and guess what he was clumsy ,once she stopped saying it and offered constructive cricism he stopped being clumsy,he was only little though so a teen might need a different approach.But trusting her to do things for hersellf would be a help.I was a shy child ,used to hide behind the sofa or under a table when my parents friends came round,my mum helped me by asking me to hand round sandwiches or talk to one of them about the book I was reading( I was always buried in abook) it really helped and once I started working I found socialising much easier.Hope this wee girl gets the help she needs ,anxiety is an awful thing to live with

Our kids did a once a week paper round, in the neighbourhood. If for any reason they could not do it I did. Gave them money and confidence, esp at Christmas time.

I dont think a visit to the Dr would do anything if they are anything like ours.

Thanks so much for your answers She won't be visiting the doctors she definitely has no mental health problems just a big stumbling block ....she can be quite confident and able in some situations for instance her brother had some underpants that were the wrong size and was hesitant about taking them back ( although he's normally ultra confident) she took over went to the counter and very confidently explained and got the money back She travels on buses and trains alone with no problem She has had a paper round but gave up after a year as the dogs scared her No she's not an animal girl I m afraid a bit scared of both dogs and cats and anything insect like
Drama would be an excellent idea but she won't join anything she seems crippled by embarrassment so won't accept either her mum or me making any move for her so we can't even approach a shop I do voluntary work and she could accompany me but won't She's not being over pushed at school she's dyslexic but worked her way into the top group in all subjects except Spanish and French
One day I asked if she like to help me paint a fence for some money but she said she didn't feel very well but I knew it was because it was a front garden fence and people would see her She's very pretty in a natural way and has a very good figure slim and long legged She's tall and that bothers her because she thinks she's too tall I do feel for her I d like to think it was just a phase but she's always been a bit shy it's just got worse with puberty
She doesn't like sport it's really hard to know how and what to encourage her with

Surely taking her to see the doc. will make her even more anxious. .... maybe even convincing her she has a serious personality problem. It sounds to me as if she has a confidence problem, but she recognises it which i think is good (no way do I profess to be an expert in psychology , far from it).
If she could be persuaded to take on a Saturday job as Elrel suggests which doesn't require an interview i.e... a family friend/ aquaintance , that might build her confidence. FWIW .... I suffered from crippling shyness and my Mum's hairdresser offered me a Saturday job .... mostly sweeping hair up, and filling shampoo bottles but it did build up my confidence. Many teenagers suffer from confidence problems be it back in the 50s or now in the 21st century. The increased reliance on non-virtual social contact shows that.
I wouldn't worry to much yet Bluebelle. I guess all you can do is offer a listening ear.

One of my GDs was unhappy to be tall in junior school. Gradually at secondary school she realised it gave her an advantage, especially as she could look down on annoying boys. She loves being talk now, at 17. I hope your GD can gradually realise her height is an asset.
She was brilliant with her brother's wrong size underwear, as she likes helping people is baby sitting a possibility?

BlueBell she sounds pretty typical of a teenage girl to me. Sometimes confident, sometimes completely insecure, sometimes sociable, sometimes aloof. She is just working out who she is and where she can fit in. If she wants a job has she considered doing some voluntary work in order to build a CV? I know my local Oxfam shop has a group of teenagers who seem to enjoy working there and get along with each other.If she didn't want to do something so regularly perhaps she could organise a fundraising event, lots of suggestions on charity websites. As a dyslexic she is achieving a great deal already. Good luck

What do her parents think? Her mum could see to this if mum's concerned.

There was an episode of the secret lives of 4/5 year olds and there was a little girl wringing her hands because she was so nervous. Most of us learn to cover up but your DGD hasn't.
There are many therapists that may help her, the difficulty is finding the right one. Her surgery could be helpful at pointing her parents in the right direction.
I will just say that having a beauty salon I was asked many times by mums and grannies about Saturday jobs for their DD/DGD. If the young lady wasn't prepared to approach me herself then I wasn't interested. So your DGD is absolutely right that this is not the right approach.

bluebelle Can you DGD do the basics like paying for shopping, asking a shop assitant where something is stocked in the store call and make a dental appointment or ask the bus driver for a ticket to her destination ? i ask because my Stepson couldn't at 14 and i had to help him do these small(to us) tasks it really was a case of standing with him and gently coaxing him. I then had him go to the shop with a short list of unusual things on it such as string, rye bread crackers and others we dont usually buy so he couldnt just pick up what was known to him. When he had mastered that he was sent to ask a neighbour if they needed any jobs doing. It Was all small steps but he is getting there. Last summer he managed to buy a train ticket and travel 2 stops on the train to meet his Dad, i cried with pride.It is heartbreaking but i am sure you will find a way to help her.

Grannypiper all those things she is very good at and she will ask shop assistants for what she wants quite confidently She has being going to another town to school since she was 11 and has no problems travelling in fact she is so organised she can sort us all out Recently when her bus had a crash she was the one that opened the emergency door and helped her friends out
It's just that she's desperate for a Saturday job but won't ring or hand a cv in (her and her mum have compiled one)neither will she let anyone else do it I m sure it's just that first step She was in real melt down today as she wanted to ring to ask a restaurant about vacancies. but was just frozen She avoids telephones if she doesn't know the person well She won't join any groups although I know she would jump at it if a friend suggested it she would also be mortified if anything was done by her mum behind her back She's very loyal and caring of her friends but doesn't seem to have any boys interested in her probably not being flirtatious like most 14 year olds

Her Dad died when she was 4 so she only has her Mum and me and a very extrovert older brother I hope it is just a normal teenage thing she spends a lot of time in her room and I just feel sad she is missing out on the fun years

I'm not sure that many companies employ under 15s if any because of the legal implications. Would she be confident to volunteer - working with children or animals or similar as a stepping stone. She sounds like a very caring young lady x

From what I have heard about shyness it seems it will not go away so soon but it has to be lived with. Shy people remain basically shy. She sounds similar to my GD who is also pretty and slim but notices that boys like to talk to to other girls with more personality.
It makes me so sad to hear it but surely it will get better. she must learn to cope with it.
Can she do any babysitting? Or dog walking? Better than a shop where she has to hand in a CV. and is faced with strangers everyday. This sounds to me like diving in at the deep end for a shy teenage girl
Do not go to the GP. She is not ill and he has limited time these days. Don't make her into a 'case' but treat her shy ness as something normal that she will get over in time and she will, I'm sure.

Margaret as I said before doctors don't come into it she has a very sensible mum it's just hard to see isn't it ?
Elaine companies don't take young people under 16 but lots of small family businesses do and she has friends working in little bakeries or chip / coffee shops etc on Saturdays
Babysitting might well work unfortunately we don't know anyone with babies / young children and I m not sure her mum would want her to go to strangers alone at night she's young for that
I was just wondering if anyone else had a grandkid like her and would give me a boost

I was the shy child- do not go down the route of doctors and counsellors it would be unbearable!
Don't draw attention to it. She is a bit young for employment - I would go for volunteering, something where she is busy in the background.
There are no quick fixes. I can stand up and talk in front of a room full of people now - it just comes with time and experience.

Thanks Leticia I was very shy too but although I couldn't stand up and talk or draw any attention to myself I had started flirting with the boys and going to a youth club when I was 14 I just want her to have fun, she's had a bit of a tough life so far with lots of disappointments and knocks and has done really well I hate seeing her beating herself up all the time But like you say hopefully time will help
Thanks to everyone for your interest it helps just talking about things even if there is no answer

GD1 has become much more confident after joining a drama class and taking up ballet again.
I used to be very shy at school but one of my form teachers made me read in assembly regularly, got me used to the idea of speaking in public.