Apologies

AC will continue to live their lives as they please and choose whom they decide to have a healthy relationship with. Even God whose above all and who gave you children to bear does not force Himself onto their lives. He gives you a choice to either love Him or not. Why would anyone feel the need to disrespect their AC choice? You hurt your kids under the guise of, "I only did it out off love." But its easier to say you don't know what you did for that would negate any accountability on your end. Cutting off parents is nothing new, its being going on for centuries, only difference is that now people are not afraid to speak out on it. If you're too proud to appologise and think that time will eventually heal the rift, it won't. Some attitudes on here carry a heavy sense of entitlement. Then you wonder why your cut off. Honor your mother and father does not mean that one has to put up with their disrespect. In fact cutting one off is at times more respectful than engaging in back and forth insults with your own parents, or having them charged for abuse, harassment and stalking. But some parents feel they in their own right are entitled to do these things and get away with it for they are parents. But playing victim (for some) is always the easier way out.

LLL Ofcourse "AC will decide how they choose to live their lives and whom they choose to have a healthy relationship with"!! You appear to be assuming that in every case there must be something a parent has done to cause it! Do you agree that in some cases it may be that a partner of an AC wishes to CO because they do not want to "share" their partner or they want to have control. In a controlling relationships it is very common to cut off the controlled partner from their family, for no other reason than control!
It would be interesting to know whether you have personally experienced CO in some form, although I accept that you have free choice on whether you reply to that query or not!
I should add that I am not CO from my children so am not trying to say "I don't know what I did" or " negate accountability" or justify any "sense of entitlement!"

I can’t believe this has been revived.
Are we really so hard up for discussion material or does Live, Laugh, Laiove really feel there is anything more worth saying

But, seeing as LLL has resurrected her thread, could I please ask again "what is your accreditation to be able to give so much advice"? -- I did ask weeks ago but never got a reply--.

Madgran77 your case scenario is obviously different, that's why I continuously use the word "some cases." An apology is obviously not warranted in the case an AC under "control." - Just reflect on whether its presumptive or factual control.

Chewbacca -** kind disclaimer** On here and like everyone else who posts online, my posts are strictly opinionated. If you need accredited advice very kindly follow up with a licensed individual.

Hello again LLL I would really like to know a little bit about your own circumstances, would you mind sharing something about the personal interest you have in this topic? Without context your posts have a somewhat 'hectoring' tone to them and it would be helpful to get to know you a little more than through this one single topic. Perhaps you would like to post on some of the other threads too?

opinionated
I’ll say!

I think perhaps you meant “subjective”though
#unconscioushumour

^kind disclaimer^? Is this your way of saying that you don't actually have any credibility or credentials for offering your unsolicited advice? That your 21 ways of "how not to apologise" were just thought up on a whim? Your right. Opinionated is the right word.

Yes LLL it is obviously different. The problem is that even though you do Sa some cases, your responses to some CO Grandparents on here who claim that scenario seem to suggest that you assume that in their cases the control is "presumptive" not "actual"! This may be the case in terms of your assumption or it may be caused by your style of writing!

Oh My Days ... I've not been on Gransnet for a while (internet issues) and this is still under discussion!!!!!

Ourkidl LLL posted again after a loooooong gap! I felt the need to question the impression given! So not sure the discussion will continue really!

Surprised this post is still circulating. I commented on it at the beginning, but just reread her original post. She questions what went wrong and why aren’t we apologizing. I could be the one she’s talking about. I have tried with my future dil. I supported her/them. She has been a road block to my grandson since the day he was born. I have begged to be involved and she simply could care less. She only wants her family to have a relationship with him. She finally reached out after a year and a half and asked me to do something with them. She never followed through, said it slipped her mind. It was two days from the time she said she’d call to tell me what day worked better that week. It didn’t slip her mind. This is how she treats people. I am at the point of giving up. It’s not worth trying and being hurt over and over again. So to the OP no sorry from me would help. I simply wanted to be a grandma to my first grandchild. She wants to treat me as an out of town relative. This is where things go wrong. No apology can fix someone else’s selfishness. Sorry if I offended anyone. I am beyond sad. I justbmy father a month ago and would’ve loved a visit from my grandson who lives 20 minutes away, but after begging for weeks I realized it wouldn’t happen. I need to accept that this is who she is and nothing will change. Beyond sad.

Was supposed to say lost my father. And to those wondering about my son, I honestly believe he is afraid to speak up or she’ll take their son and move back in with her parents.

Baby1. 20 minutes away is no distance at all is it really. We lived just 15 doors away from our ES and only GC which is why we moved 18 months again.

"Beyond sad" and on their part beyond cruel.

Please, please don’t feed this pointless discussion

Mawbroon I know what you mean ...but not sure someone should get away with some statements without being asked to clarify or explain themselves!

Sorry Mawbroon just came here to see if there was anything new, and popped back on this post. It still mades no sense, and I am still struggling and didn’t want to start a new post

An apology is obviously not warranted in the case an AC under "control."

That statement has confused me
Could you explain please?

If you need accredited advice very kindly follow up with a licensed individual.
Are you following your own advice re this LLL?

Please, please don’t feed this pointless discussion
Sorry [oops]

I started off being amused, like many, by the OPs verbose instructions but I think now that either it's deliberate baiting or possibly mental health problems. I agree it's best to stop responding now and especially if you've had problems with ACs, look after yourselves and don't feel the need to explain to a virtual stranger. [Flowers]

Azie09

There we go again with the "mental health problems," claims lol. But with the double standards on here I don't see any asking for your credentials to make such claims. I love how people are quick to use mental instability in a fruitless attempt to invalidate another, while validating their actions. Again, another perk of playing the victim card.. But when grandparents talk of completely cutting off their own children as shown on another posts on here, "mental health," is never an issue huh! You shockingly see so many "supportive," posts. But ask yourself this - what do your words say about those with true mental health issues? For I'm sure you've read of that on here too. Im sure that you're all congnitive to the truth. Why would any AC want to be around another adult who insinuates that they are mentally unstable? If you're behaviour is too toxic and harmful for me to be around, I definitely wouldn't let any child I love or care for be around you either..

Madgran77

Mawbroon I know what you mean ...but not sure someone should get away with some statements without being asked to clarify or explain themselves!

....thought the previous consensus when I initially posted was "never admit, never explain." When did that change? Or is this another double standard?

Aww Baby1, in all honesty I truly feel bad for you. You seem like a nice person, and I do hope that everything only works out for the best for you and your family. This was never about you, I genuinely thought I was helping before being rudely attacked, called a buly and forced to apologise - for stating my truth . hugs.

Gobbledygook. Com